Page 34 of I Saw Her First

“How are you feeling?” I ask gently. “After… everything?”

She glances back at me. “I’m okay.”

I fiddle with the settings on the camera, even though I can’t remember how the damn thing works. “You know, it’s okay if you need to cry, or… whatever. You’re allowed to be upset.”

She seems to contemplate this for a moment. “I’m… I’m not, really. Not upset.”

My brows draw together. I recall the way she curled on the mattress, the tension in her body as I sat beside her. The fact that she barely left her room for two days. Of course she was upset.

She catches my confused expression, shaking her head. “I mean, it was a crappy thing to do—”

“Itwasa crappy thing to do,” I cut in. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Maybe I did,” she mutters, and indignation burns in my chest. “I wasn’t with him for the right reasons,” she adds. “And… I probably shouldn’t have come away with him.”

I’m not sure what she means by this, but I don’t press her to explain. “Either way, that doesn’t justify—”

“No, it doesn’t. But… I’m not really upset, so much as”—she carefully inspects her hands—“embarrassed by what he said about me in front of you.”

Ah.

Sick of you, Miss Uptight, who wants to fucking talk all the time instead of actually fuck…

Jesse’s words replay through my head, as they have since the moment he uttered them. I’ve tried not to pick them apart, because they’re none of my business, but I keep getting stuck on that last part—instead of actually fuck. Did they not sleep together? I know they weren’t at the house much, but I assumed they’d been at Daisy’s place.

I shake my head. Of course they were sleeping together. They’re young; they would have been going at it like rabbits. I bet it was more that Jess got sick of the fact that she also wanted totalksometimes, too. God forbid.

I shove the thoughts from my mind. I shouldn’t be thinking about this. Their sex life is their business, and Daisy has just said how embarrassed she is that I know more than I should.

“Don’t worry about it,” I mutter, waving a hand, as if I can somehow wave the entire topic out of my head. “I can barely remember what he said.”

She glances at me uncertainly, trying to read my face. I’m not sure if she believes me, but she seems to accept my answer.

“He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that in front of me,” I add, furrowing my brow. “Or at all, actually. You did nothing wrong.”

Daisy runs her eyes over my face, letting out a long sigh. “That’s not… entirely true.”

I gaze at her in disbelief. I find it impossible to imagine Daisy could have done anything to justify Jesse’s behavior.

She twists her lips to the side. “I…” She grimaces, looking away. “I was planning to end things with him, anyway.”

Huh.

I digest this information, refusing to acknowledge the flicker of satisfaction I feel at knowing she didn’t want to be with him.

I am the worst father on the planet.

“I’m sorry,” she adds quietly.

“Sorry? For what?”

She brings her gaze back to mine, eying me uncertainly. “I know you wanted us to be together, that you thought I was good for him, and I tried to make it work, really I did, but… it wasn’t right between us. I’m sorry for letting you down.”

My breath comes rushing out in shock. Is that really what she’s thinking right now, that she’s letmedown?

“Daisy… I’m so sorry if you thought you couldn’t end things because of me. I never meant…” I shake my head. “That wasn’t fair that you had to carry that expectation.”

“I wanted to help him.” She shrugs, looking down at her hands again. “I tried to talk to him about his relationship with you, but he wouldn’t let me in. I didn’t know what else to do.”

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