Page 46 of I Saw Her First

“You have no fucking idea,” I growl in response.

Her legs wind around my waist, and I slide my hands to her ass, drawing her closer. Her hips search for mine until she finds exactly what she’s looking for. I groan as she grinds against my rigid cock, the friction so fucking good I grit my teeth to remain in control. My dick hasn’t come into contact with anything other than my own hand since Lydia, and it doesn’t know what to do with itself.

I suck in a lungful of air, pulling away to gaze at Daisy so I don’t explode. She looks up at me with dark, needy eyes, her mouth red and swollen from our kisses. She’s never looked more perfect.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you,” she rasps, hands stroking my jaw. “I’m so glad you didn’t shave your beard.”

A smile tugs at my mouth. “You like it, huh?”

“Fuck yes. I love the way it feels on my skin.” She tilts her head, hand palming my jaw. Her eyes are so hooded she looks drunk. “I want to feel it between my legs.”

Jesus Christ.

My breath rushes out, and I press my eyes shut, because there is nothing I want more right now than to fall to my knees and spread those sweet legs of hers.

But I’m not a casual kind of guy. I don’t do one-night stands, or flings, or hookups. I’ve only ever slept with one woman, and I spent twenty-five years with her. As much as I want to, I know I can’t go down that road with Daisy. I shouldn’t have even let her kiss me.

What did I think would happen? She kissed me in the meadow when I finally got her using the Nikon. And part of me knew this would have a similar effect.

A dangerous part of me that doesn’t care what Jesse would say.

Jesse.

The blinding fog of lust parts, and I swallow hard.

I can’t let that part win. I can’t lose my son. He’s all I’ve got left of my family, and if he found out I’d kissed his ex, he’d never speak to me again. Not to mention how uneasy I feel at the thought of sharing a lover with my son.

“You have no idea how much I want that,” I say, dropping my forehead to hers. My hand rests possessively on the back of her neck, and I force myself to let go, to step away. “But I can’t, Daisy. I could never do that to Jess. And… I can’t be with someone my son has been with. It’s… it’s not right.”As much as I want that. As much as I fantasize about it.

Daisy grips the edge of the table, staring at me. “Well, then I should probably tell you—” she breaks off and her cheeks redden, so much so that I can see it even under the dimness of the safety light. “Um…” She shifts her weight uncomfortably. “I was neverwithJesse. Not… like that.”

I blink. She can’t be serious.

“I’ve never been with anyone,” she adds, so quiet I almost miss it.

“You’ve never…” I begin, and she nods in confirmation.

Sick of you, Miss Uptight, who wants to fucking talk all the time instead of actually fuck…

Jesse’s words come back to me, clear as day. He meant that literally. They never slept together. No wonder she was so embarrassed when he said that. Because she’s…

Shit.

She’s a virgin.

My cock stiffens again at the thought, despite myself, because there’s something about knowing no man’s fucked her that makes me want to be the one to do it—even more than before.

But that also makes one thing extremely clear: this will never happen.

“Jesus, Daisy.”

She stares at the floor, shriveling. “I know. It’s ridiculous at my age.”

I close the distance between us and take her face into my hands in one swift motion.

“It’s not ridiculous. It’s…” I try to think of the best word as I stroke my thumb over her soft, freckled cheek. “Lovely.” Because it is. Not that I have anything against women with more experience—Lydia had been with someone before me—but there’s also something nice about a woman who has waited until it feels right.

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