Page 85 of I Saw Her First

Weston’s car bleep-bleeps as he unlocks it from across the parking lot, and I slip into the passenger seat, keeping my head down. A moment later he joins me, his mouth set in a thin line as the car roars to life and we peel out of the parking lot.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt, guilt gnawing at me. “I tried to get rid of him, but he was talking about—”

“It’s okay.” Wes reaches for my hand, holding it in his over the gearshift. “I don’t think he saw me.”

I swear I just saw Mr. Abbott in the bathroom…

I shake Rex’s words from my head. The most important thing is that he didn’t see ustogether. He can’t draw any conclusions without that.

“It was close, though,” I say, and Wes gives a silent nod. I want to tell him what I realized about Rex, how I think he might be a better guy than we’ve given him credit for, but now isn’t the time.

All I can think about is the huge risk Weston is taking by being with me, and whether I’m worth it.

34

Weston

Daisy is quiet on the drive back from the restaurant. I think we’re both a little shaken after almost getting caught by Rex. I mean, what the fuck was he doingthere, of all places?

“Thanks for dinner,” Daisy murmurs as I pull the car into the driveway and shut off the engine.

“You’re welcome, babygirl.”

I press a kiss to the back of her hand, and she gives me a faint smile before letting herself out of the car and silently walking up the path. I follow suit, opening the front door to toe off my loafers. We head to the bedroom where she perches on the end of the bed, looking pensive. I wander to the sliding glass door, gazing out to the pool below. The moon hangs high and bright in the sky, making the pool water shimmer with silver. The night air is hot and sticky, and I’m restless as I unbutton my shirt and cast it aside.

“Let’s swim,” I say, glancing back at Daisy.

She blinks as she surfaces from her thoughts. “In the ocean?”

“The pool.” I fish my swimming trunks out of the dresser. “It’s nice at night.”

A smile brushes her lips. “Okay.”

I turn away as she changes, knowing that if I see her naked we won’t make it to the pool, but when I find her in that white string bikini, it’s still a battle to head outside. I have to march ahead of her, straight to the pool’s edge, without looking back.

I dive head-first into the water, the cold doing little to ease my agitation. Daisy gingerly lowers herself down the pool ladder, and I begin to swim a few laps, attempting to settle my whirling thoughts.

The way Daisy asked about Jess at dinner made my heart clench. It’s been great to spend time with him that doesn’t involve eye-rolls and strained silences. The night we watched the game was just like old times, and it felt so good to hang out with him again. As much as I wanted to share that with Daisy, I have to remember they used to date. Not only that, he didn’t treat her well. I wasn’t sure if she would want to hear about how I’m enjoying spending time with the guy who was a jerk to her. That she does shows how much she cares, and knowing I can talk to her about my son, even with their history, means the world to me.

What I didn’t say is that it’s also been impossibly hard to be away from her all week. My bed somehow feels even emptier now, and while I love spending time with my son, his presence in the house has come at the cost of having her there. I’m beginning to wonder if that’s too high a price to pay.

Almost running into Rex tonight was a wakeup call. When I saw him standing at the table with Daisy, my stomach dissolved. I’m fucking lucky he didn’t see me, but even him seeing Daisy was bad enough. He might be a pain in the ass but he’s not stupid, and he could put two and two together. I can only pray his date distracted him enough to not give much thought to Daisy’s presence at an upscale restaurant only ten minutes from my beach house.

What we’re doing isn’t sustainable. I know that. It’s not fair to keep this from Jess, to make Daisy feel like we have to hide. It’s not fair on myself, seesawing between the guilt at lying to my son and the longing for Daisy when she can’t be with me. I believe what Pauline said, that I deserve something good, and I know that something, or rathersomeone, is Daisy. She’s the light in my life, the one who brought me back from the brink, who helped me reconnect with my son, who made me remember how good it feels to be alive. She’s more than I could possibly have dreamed of.

I just don’t know how to keep her without losing Jess.

When I surface from my laps, I lean back against the tiled edge of the pool, watching Daisy paddle through the dark water. Her pale skin glows in the moonlight, giving her the look of a mythical creature from another world. For all the magic she’s brought into my life, she may as well be.

She swims across to rest beside me, smiling as she leans her head back to gaze at the moon. “It’s so beautiful here.”

I hum in agreement, but I’m not looking at the scenery. I’m looking at the woman next to me. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe her.

“Why don’t you have any pictures of Lydia up at home?”

Her words take me by surprise, and I falter, dragging my gaze away as she turns to look at me.

“You don’t have any family pictures, or anything that looks like it belongs to a woman,” Daisy adds gently. “I didn’t realize until I saw the picture of Lydia on your dresser here.”

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