Page 22 of Always Watching

“North…”

I don’t know if it’s sincere enough. I don’t know if it’s too much, too intense. But I reach my hand out and gently run myfingers through his hair, enough to tip his head back so I can search his face. “Let me keep you safe.”

Chapter 9

Ranen

Let me keep yousafe.

That sentence runs through my head as I set up my equipment a few days later. Since North has been using the room for its intended purpose, nothing is set up how I had it before.

Let me keep you safe.

It shouldn’t have touched me as much as it did. I mean, he’s offering to watch me jerk off for my subscribers, but I don’t know, it’s touching.

Little does North know, he’s been keeping me safe every day he’s been here. His very presence relaxes and calms me. Proof of that is me moving around the very room I got my ass kicked in. Though I had a small panic attack before I entered early this morning—my pulse racing, hands sweating, and my breath coming out in pants—I was able to get through it to acclimate myself to my surroundings again.

And North was there, comforting me until I came back to myself.

“Ranen!” I hear through my phone, and I snap back to the conversation I was having.

“Yeah, sorry. I was distracted.”

Olly sighs and it sounds almost pitying. I hate it, but I know he’s only worried about me. I told him today I was going to try to stream again. He knows the trouble I had the past few times, so I decide to chalk the sigh up to worry, not pity.

“I know it’s stressful,” he says in a more upbeat voice, “but you’re going to kill it. A few of our mutuals have messaged me and they’re eager to see you on cam again.”

I smile despite my nervousness. It’s nice that people are waiting on me—that sounds narcissistic, but whatever. The fact that my subs miss me makes me happy and confirms that going on cam tonight is the right decision.

After I straighten the bed, I flop down on it. North has been using this room and his scent is everywhere.Heis everywhere. Everywhere I look, some of his clothes, his shoes, his damn toothpaste is in my line of sight.

It’s strange that I’m totally okay with a random dude showing up at my house and making himself at home, but I am. Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt safe. I’ve felt taken care of. North hasn’t been hovering, but he’s made sure I haven’t had to lift a finger unless I was determined to. It’s been… nice to be taken care of.

I do feel a little ill at ease right now because he’s gone. I’m not sure where he took off to, but I didn’t want to ask—it wasn’t my business. Though I longed to ask the question. He’s only been gone for two hours, but it feels longer. Which is why I called Olly. I needed someone to keep me company while I was here alone, even if it’s only over the phone.

“That’s good to hear,” I say, really meaning it. “I’m ready today. North is going to—”

Olly makes a squeaking sort of noise in his throat. “That creepy guy from the hospital is still there? I thought you said it would only be for a few days.”

When I told Olly that North was crashing with me until I was better, at the time it was only supposed to be a few days. But I don’t think North has any intention of leaving anytime soon. And if I’m honest, I don’t really want him to. Our routine is comfortable. We don’t get in each other’s way and he lets me enjoy my silence while still being there for me. We talk often, North making jokes with his dry humor that has me cracking up. He’s an excellent cook, making dinner almost every night and helping me clean up when we’re done.

I don’t know, I really like North. If he wants to stay for longer than a few days—technically, he already has—then so be it. Right now, I’m enjoying having him around. Maybe when he’s done helping me feel more comfortable camming again, he’ll leave.

That thought settles in my stomach like a lead weight. I don’t think I want him to leave when I’m feeling better in front of the camera.

Something he and I will have to talk about, I guess. We never established how long he’d be here. He had three large bags by my door when I was discharged from the hospital, but that wasn’t indicative of how long he’d hang around.

I pull at a loose thread on the blanket. “Yeah, well, he’s helping me, so he’s going to stick around for a little longer.”

“Helping how?”

Olly’s voice sounds weird… strained and hard. I pull the phone away from my ear, eyeing it with confusion as if it could tell me why he’s being so weird. “He’s going to stand in the hallway and make sure no one breaks into my apartment and beats the shit out of me,” I mumble, a helpless feeling rolling over me.

I’ll never forget how utterly powerless I was when that man broke into my place. I had no one to call for help, no one to depend on to keep me safe but myself. And I failed.

“Shit,” Olly says, that hard edge being replaced by one of sympathy. “I’m sorry. You have the right to feel safe. If he’s thereto help, that’s good. Sorry I sounded so… protective. You’re my best friend. I could have come to keep you safe. I could have brought my stuff and we could have made a party of it.” He chuckles lightly and I join in, the oppressive mood dissipating.

“It’s all good. I couldn’t ask that of you. You have your shit set up how you want it. I wouldn’t ask you to move things around for me. And I’d feel like I was intruding in your space.” I talk over him when he makes a noise to interrupt. “It’s all good, Olly. North won’t be here much longer. Whoever is after me will slip up in some way, and I’ll call the cops on their asses so fast it’ll make their head spin.”

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