Page 46 of Always Watching

That’s about as close as I can get to an actual confession right now. Whatever was driving me to tell him earlier is gone.

It’s not safe for them.

Wylder’s words echo in my head.

It’s not safe for him to know… and as Ranen curls up against my side, I know there’s more to it than that. I can’t tell him until I’m sure he won’t leave once he finds out, and I definitely can’t tell him until I’m sure he’s safe.

It’s a strange feeling, wanting to keep him close and knowing the instant I make it safe for him to wander away from me is the instant I might lose him for good.

Chapter 17

Ranen

Ismile as Istep out of the room and see North in my kitchen. He looks at home, like he belongs here… with me.

It’s an absurd thought, wanting a man I barely know to be a fixture in my life.

Oh, who am I kidding? I know North. I may not know everything there is to know about him, but I know him. With every day that passes, I learn more. My favorite thing is how he loves his family. He doesn’t talk much about Wylder, other than to say they’re not really close, but I can tell he loves him. Just as he loves Atlas. Their bond, their relationship, is adorable.

Another favorite? His joy for cooking. I really love his cooking. A lot. He’s like my own personal chef and seems to get a kick out of watching me eat. Every time I take a bite of the food he cooks, a small half smile tips up his lips.

North is quiet, not because he has nothing to say, but because he doesn’t speak out of turn. He weighs each word carefully and says what he means. That wasn’t so much the case last week when we had dinner, but I think he was as nervous as I was for our first date.

It was nice being out with North, having dinner and enjoying his company. I know he saw how nervous I was to ask him to cam with me again, but he didn’t shame me or pressure me about it. My next show is the day after tomorrow and I’m hoping he’ll join me. The shows I had this week were solo sessions, with North watching on as I played with myself and came like a geyser. My viewership was up from last week by a lot and my normal subs asked when my mystery man was coming back.

I’ll broach it today, but first, I wanna get out of the house. Other than our date, we’ve just been in my apartment, hanging out. The fall season is upon us and it’s the perfect time to take a walk in the crisp air.

I walk into the kitchen and wrap my arms around North from behind. Closing my eyes, I smile and breathe him in. God, he smells so good. Masculine and a little… dangerous. I can’t explain it. Something about his scent sets my pulse racing in a good way, but one that also makes me wary. Not wary enough to have him out of my life, though. That will never happen.

North is mine like I’m his.

The rumble of his chuckle flows through me, and my smile widens. “Good morning, Ranen.”

“Morning.”

“Breakfast will be ready soon.”

“’Kay.” My voice is muffled against his back.

He laughs again and rests one hand over mine. “You’ll have to let me go so I can take the pan from the stove.”

“Don’t wanna.”

North turns around in my arms, then lifts my face up to his. He kisses me so sweetly that my toes curl, the honeyed brush of his lips making me melt into him. When he pulls away, a dopey smile crops up on my lips. “What was that for?” I ask.

“I wanted to taste your mouth.” He dips back inside for another taste and I don’t stop him. In fact, I try to pull him in for more, but North drags his mouth away. “Sit. I’ll bring you food.”

Almost in a daze from how perfect his mouth always feels on mine, I sit down at the table, waiting for North to bring me breakfast.

He sets the plate in front of me and I growl when he forks some of my eggs into his mouth. He laughs as he walks back to the stove to fix himself a plate.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds filling the room are our knives and forks against our plates.

I look up at him, still feeling a possessive, needy feeling towards him. It’s like I can’t see myself without him anymore. I’m not sure what I’ll do when he deems me safe and leaves. Maybe beg him not to? Beg him to be with me, even though I don’t really have much to offer a man like him? Cry myself to sleep when he laughs in my face and takes his many bags and leaves anyway?

“You’re thinking too hard,” he says and I grin. He really knows me well.

Bypassing what he said so he doesn’t know how desperate I am for him, I ask, “Do you want to go for a walk with me?” I point out the window across the street to the bustling park. “There are a few trails that are usually pretty empty. We’ve been cooped up inside for a while.”

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