Page 61 of Always Watching

Flicking my eyes open, I meet North’s concerned gaze and blurt out, “I love you. North, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Now that the words have forced themselves from my throat, I can’t stop saying them. They’re like a mantra, grounding me and making me feel sane. I have to let him know, let theworldknow that I am in love with North Sinclair.

My hands land over his wrists and I hold them tight as I keep professing my love. If I don’t get it out, I’ll go fucking insane. He heard me, I know he did, judging from his wide eyes and his gaped mouth, but I can’t stop.

“I love you. North, I love you. I do. I love—”

His mouth slamming down on mine cuts my words off, and I sigh against his tongue. As it was after he killed Mr. Barlowe, his kiss is rough and demanding. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Snatching his mouth from mine, North’s warm breath fans across my spit-soaked lips. “Fuck, Ranen. You know what I am. Yousawwhat I did. How can you say you love me?”

I smile softly, still holding on to his wrists. “How could I not? No one has ever done anything like that for me before.” I kiss him again, then pull back. “But seriously, North. You’re. Hurt.” I emphasize the words so he doesn’t cut me off with a kiss or sex again. “I need to bandage you up and we can talk. Okay?”

He nods and helps me down from the counter. I wince, my hole stinging from how rough he was with me. My legs are wobbly from my orgasm and finally telling North how I feel about him, but I manage to keep them under me as we slowly walk to the bathroom.

I swallow back bile when I look down at Mr. Barlowe’s body, but it’s not like I’m sad he’s dead. He was a creep who attacked me in my apartment, then tried to offer his protection, like he wasn’t the one I needed protectionfrom. I’m just sickened at seeing a dead body is all. I saw my grandfather after he passed, but he looked peaceful, like he was finally out of pain.

Mr. Barlowe looks anything but at peace. His eyes are wide open from shock, and his mouth is slack with a grimace. He looks small in death, small and frail and still a little crazed. Almost as if he can’t believe there were consequences for his actions.

I shiver, my face still stinging from Mr. Barlowe’s backhand and the ghost of that knife sliding across my skin. He came into my home twice and terrorized me. I’m glad he’s dead. I’m glad North killed him. Now he can never hurt another person.

“We can’t shower. Not yet,” North says as we head to my bathroom. “We have to get rid of that fucker in your kitchen.”

“How?” I ask. “Have you… have you done this before?”

North holds my gaze and nods slowly. A long, relieved breath leaves my lungs. God, I thought we’d be floundering around, trying to get rid of a body with no idea how to get it done. My mind has been racing with the logistics, wondering if we should indeed call the cops and pray they believe it was an act of self-defense.

But he’s done this before. He won’t get caught. The police won’t take him away from me.

With a wary expression, North rests me against the bathroom counter. “Are you afraid of me now?” He sounds… nervous. Like my answer will make or break him.

I look at him like he’s lost his mind. “What? No. North, if you wanted to hurt me like you did Mr. Barlowe, you’ve had so many opportunities to do so. I sleep around you, I’m naked around you, I have my guard down around you. You could easily have taken advantage of that many times over, but you haven’t.” I place my hand on his cheek, feeling his heavy pants drift across the skin of my wrist. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid… I’m afraid someone will find out and take you away from me. I can’t…I can’t bear that.”

He cups my chin, holding me in place so I can look into the depths of his blazing eyes. Fuck, he’s so hot like this—his possessiveness feels almost physical. “No one is taking me away from you. I’d kill them if they tried.”

A smile spreads across my face. “Okay. Thank you.”

North dips his head, then grabs a damp cloth. He wets it and cleans the blood from my face and body. His arm still leaks blood, but it’s not as steady as it was before.

Once I’m clean, I grab the cloth and toss it into the hamper, then grab a fresh one to clean his arm. “How are we going to… get him out of here?”

“Wearen’t. Me and Dad are. He… knows what I do.”

“You kill people?” I ask, though I know the answer.

“Yes.”

“Both of you?”

A pause… then, “Yes.”

I nod. “Your brother too?”

“Yes.”

The cut on his arm isn’t bleeding too heavily anymore, so I reach under the bathroom sink to grab a bandage.

Before I can apply it, North stops me, holding my arm fast. “Why are you… Ranen, you’re okay with this? I really don’t scare you?”

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