Page 62 of Always Watching

“Of course you scare me, North, but not for the reasons you think.” I pull my arm away from his grip and slap the bandage on his wound. “I’m scared you have me so consumed with you that if you leave, I’ll fucking die. I’m scared you have this power to break me. I’m scared that this kind of love is wrong because it’s so all-consuming, so overwhelming. That’s what I’m scared of.”

North pulls his lips in, looking as if he wants to say something, but shakes his head. “Let me call Dad. Then we can talk.”

He moves to walk around me to exit the bathroom, but I grab his wrist. North turns back to me, a curious expression on his face. “It was him. He was the one. He called me… Pooh Bear.”

North’s face darkens and I see that danger creep back into his gaze. Why would he ever think being his true self would scare me? I want North just the way he is. I’ll show every part of him love. I’ll show every inch of him that he’s fucking perfect.

“I figured. I wish I’d killed him slower. He deservedtorturefor what he did to you.” He steps into me, wrapping one of his strong arms around my waist. It’s only then that I rememberI’m naked, my cock head brushing against the hard fabric of his pants. The friction feels good—I’m barely able to keep a moan to myself. “I told you, anyone who tries to take you from me is dead.”

His lips are hard on mine and I whimper in his mouth, threading my fingers in his hair. North telling me he’d kill someone who tried to hurt me and watching him do it are two totally different things, and I can’t say I’m upset to have witnessed the end of Mr. Barlowe. He hurt me badly enough to land me in the hospital, with the promise to do it again. If North hadn’t killed him, Mr. Barlowe may have killed me.

I release his lips with a shaky breath, wanting more but knowing right now isn’t the time for me to get on my knees for him. Death shrouds the front of my home, making it feel ominous and foreboding. I know it’s because of the literal body in my kitchen, but it gives me the chills. When North fucked me on my kitchen island, I let him. The adrenaline from being so close to death was coursing through my veins. I needed to feel alive, like I was still here. Now, my head is clear and I see exactly what North did. The next time I have him inside me, I’d like therenotto be a dead man on my kitchen floor.

Quickly, I step into my bedroom and slide on some pants and a shirt, then I go to my dresser and pull out a pair of pants for North to change into as well.

When I step out of the room, I spot North in the hallway, phone to his ear. “I need you here now, Dad.” A pause. “I know. I didn’t plan it. Look, I’ll—” His gaze flicks over to mine, a questioning look in his eyes. “Yeah, he’s fine. He saw the whole thing.” Another shorter pause. “Yeah, he’s still here. He’s amazing.” He nods, stripping off his blood-soiled pants. “Okay. I’ll tell him. See you soon.”

He hangs up his phone and finishes getting dressed, then he pulls a bag from my pantry and stuffs his clothes and mine into it. “Dad says hello.”

I chuckle at the almost normalness of it. North just told Atlas I saw him kill a man and he wanted to tell me hi? This is one weird family. “I’ll see him soon to say hello back, I assume?”

North nods. “He should be here within the hour. I’ll get started with clean-up, then—”

“No.” I move to the living room, sitting on the sofa, making sure to keep my back to the body. “Sit down with me. I feel… I feel weird.”

I must be coming down from the adrenaline high, my hands shaking and my heart thumping hard behind my rib cage. My head is swimming, and breathing is almost difficult. Unexpected tears cloud my vision. I shut my eyes, pushing them back. I won’t cry. I won’t cry because North did what needed to be done.

North sits down and wraps his arms around me, holding me close. I sigh, burrowing into his chest as I try to take in deep breaths. His whispered words and the slow circles he’s rubbing on my back help tremendously. After a few moments, my breathing evens out and my heart rate slows.

“A panic attack,” I explain to North when I look up at him and catch his worried eyes. “For the second time, someone has tried to kill me. I’m just… it’s taking a lot to wrap my head around, I guess.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

I nod and repeat what Mr. Barlowe said, and I get a sick feeling in my stomach at the memory of him basically calling me a whore.

“Flaunting your hot little ass in front of me, not giving me the time of day, but showing anyone with a dollar your hole.”

I’d assumed he was subscribed to my channel, but I wasn’t sure. His comment confirmed it. He was a fan who becameobsessed with me, assuming that because I was a camboy, I’d sleep with him. He’d been a creep to me since I moved in, but it ramped up when I started camming. That should have been the first clue that he was a fucking creep and was trying to get me to… fall for him.

Bile rises in my throat, but I swallow it down. He’s dead. He can’t hurt me anymore.

North presses his forehead to mine. “You were so brave, Ranen. So brave. You did well, keeping yourself safe until I could come for you. I’m proud of you, baby.”

My chest swells, warmth coursing through me, chasing away the chill that the panic attack left behind.

Looking at me skeptically, North asks, “That panic attack wasn’t because of me? From what you saw me do?”

I’m not sure what I have to say to North for him to believe I’m not afraid of him, and never will be. Yes, he killed someone in front of me and admitted that he’s killed before, but… I don’t know. I can’t let him go. Most people would hear that and run for the hills, but to me, it’s just another thing about him. Not something I entirely hate, since he saved my life.

Sighing, I say, “No. There’s nothing you can tell me that will make me afraid of you, North.”

“What if I told you I knew you were in danger because I was watching your live stream before you were attacked? That I knew where you were because I had your address.”

My mouth drops open. I close it, then open it again, intent on sayingsomething. When no words come out, I close my mouth once more. I stare at him for a few seconds, willing my words to burst free from my throat.

After swallowing several times, I ask, “Why?”

His shrug appears almost nonchalant, but his eyes give away his trepidation. He’s saying something that he thinks will frighten me. I can tell he wants to do anything but confess thissecret, but feels like he has to. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I felt like you were having some trouble and I wanted to be around in case something happened. I just…” North pauses and stares at me, swallowing hard before he says, “I just felt… drawn to you. From the first time I saw you. If you hadn’t been attacked, I wouldn’t have approached you. But I knew I could help. So I came. For you.”

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