Page 42 of Smoke

Smoke

Fuck! Seeing Tenley was the last thing I needed, but I can’t deny, deep down, it was what I wanted. However much I’ve tried to keep her from my head, despite my thoughts of Violet and guilt that has been riding my ass every time, Tenley has broken through and taken front and center stage in my mind.

As soon as I’d made the call demanding her to come here, I’d hatched the plan to let Stone take my place. Cub had recently sourced some communication equipment for the club, so it hadn’t been a problem to set up a listening device and have Stone use an earpiece so I could relay the questions that needed to be answered depending on what Tenley had to say.

When she hadn’t corrected Stone on his accusation that she’d fucked Dunne, I’d lost it. Anger like I hadn’t felt for such a long time had roared through my veins likemolten lava, having me punching a hole in the drywall as I paced, listening to what was going on in the room a few feet away. I’m surprised the noise hadn’t brought someone running to see what the fuck had happened.

The undeniable attraction I have to Tenley, the thrill that soars through me as soon as I see her, the simple sound of her husky voice, is all-consuming. But what about Violet? My love for her was immeasurable, and it’s foolish to consider that it was possible that this kind of connection could happen twice in a lifetime. If that’s the case, why am I having these all-consuming feelings for the blonde bombshell who irritates me and excites me in equal measure.

I slump back into the high-backed chair, close my eyes, and let my tormented mind go blank. My silent peace is quickly broken when Stone comes storming into the room.

“You fucked her,” he thunders as he moves towards me. “What were you thinking, Smoke?”

“Watch yourself, Stone. I’m your fucking president.” I snarl back at him.

“And I love you, brother, but what the hell?”

“I know.” I rub my hand down my face and sigh. “Don’t think for one minute I haven’t been eaten up with guilt for betraying Violet.”

“Violet?” Stone grits out. “Violet has been gone for years, Smoke, years, and I get that she was your world, except she’s dead. You’re not.”

I sling myself out of the chair and rush toward Stone. It’s only because I’ve taken him by surprise that I manage to overpower him, and we go crashing to thefloor. I pull back my arm and smash my fist into his jaw. Stone, being the much bigger man, quickly gets the advantage, and we begin to roll around the floor like a couple of school kids, fists flying erratically as we tussle. I get one more punch in to his stomach before he has me on my back, arms pinned to the floor.

“Fucking stop, Smoke.” We both are panting, trying to get our breath back. After a minute or two, he lets go and sits back on his ass. “Time to get your head out of your ass.” I’m about to throw some profanities at him, but he hits me with a question that renders me dumbstruck.

“Do you have feelings for Tenley?” he questions. “And I’m not talking about just wanting to get your rocks off. You barely touch the pussy we have on tap here, only entertaining them when you need to get your dick sucked.”

“How do you know that?” I scowl back at him.

“The girls talk, Smoke,” he sniggers at me like I’m clueless. “Wake up, brother. Every single one of the club whores is jonesing to be the first one to have your cock in their pussy. Shit, even your brothers have a wager on it. Ginger’s the favorite, by the way.”

“Fucking call them my brothers?” I fire back at him, but it’s kinda funny as well as enlightening. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. “Cunts, every one of them. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What, so you could go bat shit crazy?” he guffaws. “You’re not just my club brother, Smoke. You’re my best fucking friend and if you react like you just did towardsme, I don’t even want to think about the wrath you would have inflicted on those guys.”

He’s right. Stone is like blood family to me, and it kills me to think that I have just gone for him the way I did, but being so dismissive of my memory of Violet crushed me.

“Losing Violet hurt you deeply, and although I never got the chance to meet her, what I hear about her from everyone, it’s obvious she had an incredible love for you and I believe that she’d want you to live a full life, and not one void of love and affection. That would be devastating to her.”

I’ve been staring at the floor for the past few minutes while Stone reels off deep, emotional shit; still, I’ve heard every word. He’s right. I need to stop living in the past. Violet will always hold a piece of my heart, as with the limited number of others that I love deeply, but maybe I need to be open to the possibility that there’s still room for more. Whether I’ll ever be able to do it, look forward rather than back, that’s one hell of a question.

I raise my gaze until I’m looking Stone in the eye. The silence between us is thick and heavy as we wait for the other to speak.

“Come on,” I push myself up off of the floor. “Get everyone together. Church in thirty minutes. We got shit to discuss.”

“Did you not hear one word I just said?” Stone gets up and faces me.

“Every word, but we have more important things to handle.”

“Like what?” Stone pulls out his phone and startsshooting off a message on the group chat, no doubt alerting all the brothers that I’ve called Church.

“Like what the fuck is Paddy Dunne planning?” I reply as I make my way to my office.

“Am I missing something?” Stone follows close behind me, his phone pinging as the brothers start responding.

“If my suspicions are right, the so-called visitors he’s got coming in are men to strengthen his army. If that is the case, he’s planning something, and I’d bet my sweet ride it’s the YOMC that is firmly in his crosshairs.”

“He’s planning a hit on us?”

---