Page 78 of Rival Hearts

I’d never been able to remember the last words I’d said to my father. Nothing of significance, nothing to note the gravity of speaking for the last time. As a doctor, Jim would have witnessed loved ones lamenting the things they hadn’t said, or perhaps what they had said as a parting remark. Like me, Jim had lost his father at a young age. Jim clung to his connections, and I wondered if my loss had caused me to be too wary of letting people in. “I like that. Might have to steal it someday.”

“So, do you have a plan? If you don’t win the mayoral race, what do you intend to do with yourself? Maggie said you write songs for other singers? Nothing for yourself?”

A smile threatened, and I swallowed it down. I liked that she talked about me to her parents. “I’m actually contemplating what direction I want to take. It’s been years since I’ve spent so much time in one place.”

“Getting restless?”

Was I? That was the big question. As I thought about Jim’s question, I waved and called out a ‘hello’ to a few people who passed in cars. For the last few days, I hadn’t had any desire to wander. Looking back, the urge hadn’t been there for a few weeks—not since things began to thaw between me and Maggie.“No, I don’t think I am. But an opportunity came up, and I’m not sure if I should seize it or let it pass.”

“What’s your heart telling you?” He set the spray bottle down, threw the rag over top, and crouched to pet Hite and Zeus.

“All kinds of things lately.” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. My heart was telling me to stay, but my head was worried she’d find me lacking like the other men she’d cast aside, and I’d miss this producing opportunity.

When I was younger, her and Trent’s fictional relationship had been enough to send me spiraling. Now, after having had her so completely, I wasn’t sure I could stay in Little Falls if we weren’t together. I could keep in touch with Trent, my mother, and Kelvin if I went to LA, better than I’d done before. She was my reason to stay, and after only a few days together, we didn’t exactly feel stable with her so distant.

But I wanted her, more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. “Both options feel like a gamble.”

Jim’s fingers were embedded in the dogs’ fur when he looked up. “Any time I had one of those crossroads, something happened to let me know which way was best. You’ll get a sign.”

I wasn’t a religious man, and this sounded like divine intervention. People made their own luck through the choices they made. I had too much respect for Jim to question his beliefs, and so I made a joke instead. “It better be neon and flashing. I’m slow sometimes.”

He chuckled and stood up. “I doubt you’re that slow. Maggie says you’re a brilliant songwriter. She played a few of the ones you’d written for other people today in the pharmacy when we were switching off. You have a way with words.”

Heat rose to my cheeks, and I ran the back of my cool hand over them. Maggie and Jim had been listening to songs I’d written? She called me brilliant? A surge of pride lit me up. “She said that?”

Jim grinned. “She glows when she talks about you. It’s incredible. I wasn’t sure I’d ever see that in her. She can be closed off, resistant to forming that connection. My greatest wish for my kids is for them to find what I have with Joanna. Emily had it and lost it. Nearly broke my heart to see her struggling after Omar died. Tyler was close once, but he’s still searching. But I think Maggie’s found that connection with you.” He waved a dismissive hand. “She’d probably string me up for saying that.” He paused and seemed to be holding back another grin. “Especially for saying ittoyou. She’d be mortified.”

He’d never know how much I needed to hear Maggie’s perspective from someone close. The barrier she’d placed between us had made me wonder if I was alone in these feelings. “I feel the same way about her.” The words left before I could consider holding them back. “She’s the best woman I know.”

“That’s the secret.” Jim nodded. “When you feel you’ve gotten the better end of the relationship deal, you never need to look for more.”

She was exactly what I wanted. I’d been a fool for far too long. “Do you ever wish you could tell your younger self it would turn out okay? That the shitty feelings wouldn’t last forever?”

Jim pursed his lips and shook his head. “I used to feel that way. I don’t think I do anymore. You learn by getting through those bad times. That’s true as an individual but in a relationship too. If you didn’t have to put in the hard work, do you really grow? What do you learn?” He eyed me for a moment and shoved his hands in his pockets. He took a deep breath. “Those songs you wrote hurt Maggie. Hurt her deeply. Nothing she ever told me, but any time any news about you came up or any song you’d written started to play, she tuned out, switched off.”

Shame hit me in the chest as though Jim had thrown a punch. I’d hurt Maggie, and the realization, once again, made my chest ache painfully. For the rest of my life, I would do everything Icould to make that up to her, to never cause her pain again. When I’d written that album, I’d been so confused and hurt I hadn’t been able to see past it. She’d consumed my thoughts and not in the good way she did now.

“I’m deeply sorry I hurt her. I just—” I searched for the words. “There’s no good reason or excuse. I intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to her. I’m sorry I let you down too.” My voice felt thick with emotion. I’d hoped Jim hadn’t connected the hit album with Maggie when I’d first come back to town, but I’d wondered. His opinion had been in the back of my mind when I’d written the songs, and it was the only reason I backed off in some of my lyrics, using veiled language instead of outright attacking her. What I’d written had been bad enough. I couldn’t even imagine the damage I would have done if Jim hadn’t also been on my mind back then.

Jim sighed. “I try to stay out of my kids’ lives unless they ask for my help. It’s hard to see your kids hurting and to know there’s nothing you can do. So, when you came back to town, when you and Maggie were circling each other, I was worried. Seemed to me you had a lot of growing up to do.”

“What happened before was all my fault.” My voice was rough. “I assumed a lot of things. I should never have done what I did.”

Jim looked down the street over my shoulder, lost in thought. “The two of you seem to be working your differences out. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth. Communication is vital. So is perseverance. Sometimes talking a problem out is painful or excruciatingly hard. One of you has to put yourselves out there, embrace the discomfort. Otherwise, the relationship slips away.”

“That’s what you and your wife do?” I hadn’t had the privilege of seeing a marriage up close since my father died when I was twelve.

He rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Most of the time. Sometimes it takes a while for oneof us to get our head out of our ass, but we get there eventually. Neither of us has ever dug our heels in so long we couldn’t fix what we broke. At some point, you gotta meet the difficulties head-on and fight for what you want. The relationship comes before whether or not you were right in what you said or did or whatever has happened. You put each other first.”

You put each other first. The words reverberated in my soul. I could do that. For the rest of my life, I was confident I could find a way to put her first. “That’s good advice.”

“You need to know each other, understand each other. Maggie always likes time to come around to whatever she’s mulling over. But she gets there. Once she’s made a decision, she tends to stick to it.” Behind him, the bells of the pharmacy jingled as someone walked in. “I need to go look after things before my daughter strings me up.”

“You all set for Saturday?”

Jim’s hand was on the door, one foot already inside. “I’m not as smooth as you yet. But I have most of the moves.”

“Well, if you want a bit more practice tomorrow, I’ll be home in the afternoon, and we can go over the group routine again.”

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