Page 18 of Mending Hearts

But I had also met enough wannabe singers and performers to know Laura was right about the feverish desire. Did I want this life? I wantedthe writing, singing, and performing. The rest of it wore me out, wore me down, made me feel as though I was someone to everyone and nothing like myself. Who was Mia Malone? My value came from what other people saw, and that realization kept me up at night, staring at the ceiling, practicing my Russian accent, pretending to be someone else. Most of the time, I weighed the truth down, sank it deep, and acted like it didn’t exist. I was Mia Malone, too famous for an existential crisis, whatever that would look like.

“Sure, until I do something that pisses them off, and then I’m fucked.”

“I really wish you’d stop using that word. Someday, you’re going to slip up and say it in an interview, and then wereallywill be fucked.”

“You’ve trained me well, Mother.” I grabbed the hem of my shirt and tugged it over my head. “Just like a seal. I clap my flippers and bark on command.”

“Yeah, right.” Laura put a hand on her hip and scoffed. “You think I’m doing all this for my benefit? Traveling around the world for me? Ensuring the safety guidelines are followed for me? Sitting up at night making charts and following trends to furthermycareer?”

I snatched the dress from the back of the chair and stepped into it. “You’re right. What possible benefit is there for you?” I stared at her, waiting. “What was the price of the last house you bought with your share of my money?”

“You’ve come back from seeing Sarah in a foul mood.” Laura rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath. “Lord, give me patience.”

“Yes, Lord.” I looked up at the ceiling of the bus and put my hands together in a praying motion. “Please, please give my mother more patience for her overachieving daughter.” I was riling her up on purpose, which I loved and hated doing in equal measure.

“Look at me.” My mother’s features were taut. “There is no one in the world I love more than you. Your happiness is the most important thing in the world.”

I swallowed down my retort. I could only push so far before a layer of ice solidified between us, sometimes lasting for days. With Taryn and Rebecca working behind the scenes to get Tyler on the tour, I didn’t want her to have a reason to say no. Whether she loved me or not, Laura would thwart Tyler’s appointment here if it meant winning one of the silent battles we sometimes waged.

“I know you love me.” I slipped my fingers under the straps of the dress and tugged them onto my shoulders. I was likely thepersonLaura loved most in the world. The problem, as far as I could tell, was that Laura loved money more. I offered her a small smile, a peace offering. More than the fame, more than the money, I wanted my mother’s love. And sometimes that meant I backed down, gave in, rolled over and took whatever she dished out. After all, a little bit of love, even love attached to purse strings, was better than no love at all. “I love you, too.”

Chapter Six

Tyler

Itoggled the mouse to wake up the computer as I continued talking to Vanessa about running the store. She’d been a part-time employee for the last few years, and by some miracle had agreed to take on a full-time role for the next three months while I was gone. Everything was falling into place to exit Little Falls and follow the whims of Mia Malone. Almost like fate.

The bells above the door jingled, signaling another customer. I was busier than usual this morning. When I glanced up from showing Vanessa another ordering spreadsheet, my gaze connected with Emily’s. She was two years younger than me and had inherited the same reddish tinge to her hair that I possessed. The only one who’d been blessed with a true red was Maggie, and hers was a deep, rich auburn that Katie had coveted. I shook my head. Weird to have my ex-girlfriend creep into my thoughts again. I hadn’t thought of her in any concrete way in years. I wasn’t sure when and why she moved back to Little Falls. Not that it mattered. Seeing her must have triggered a memory or two. That was all.

While Vanessa scribbled more notes in the three-ringed store bible we were putting together, I rounded the counter and hugged Emily. Our father had insisted hugs were good for mental health, and as a result, I hugged freely and often. Emily clung on for longer than normal.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?” Her brown eyes were piercing.

“Yeah. Back office? I take it you talked to Maggie.”

“Uh, yeah. And Mom. I gotta say, we’re all freaking out.”

“You’re freaking out?” I closed the office door tight and sighed before taking a seat.

“I know how hard it is to be a single parent. So, yeah, I’m freaking out. For you. For her. For the baby on the way.”

She sank into a chair across from me while I leaned back into my swiveling high-backed leather desk chair, waiting.

“Have you thought this through?”

“Enough to know I want to do it.”

She unbound her ponytail, gathered her hair up, and redid it tighter. A hint of a smile played on my lips. Emily was getting her game face on—the one she used to talk me or anyone into or out of something. I supposed it was what made her successful in her real estate business. She knew how to work an angle. Wouldn’t matter. We’d each been dealt an ample amount of stubbornness, and I would dig in on this one. A decision made was a decision followed.

“You never wanted to be a single parent, Em. It wasn’t in your game plan. I get that.”

“And you want to be a single parent? It’s inyourgame plan?” Her expression filled with disbelief. “Really?”

I picked up a pen from my desk and twirled it between my fingers. I should have grabbed one of the lollipops off the front desk before coming back here.A cigarette. God, I wanted a cigarette. “That’s not what I’m saying. But I’m approaching this situation differently than you. My frame of mind isn’t the same.”

“You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

“I’m well aware.”

---