Page 27 of Mending Hearts

“I don’t think that should matter.” Those weren’t the right words.

“Your safety is the only thing that matters. We’ve got the freedom you wanted. Be grateful. We’re out from under his thumb.”

From my pocket, I produced a lollipop and tore the wrapper off. The rising tide in my stomach wasn’t morning sickness though. It was something much more sinister. I hoped I could swallow down her truth long enough to stop thinking about whoever else was out there hurting, wishing someone would stitch them back together.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs to Tyler’s bus, indecisive. As soon as I’d gotten out of the car with Laura, he was my first thought. My mind kept spinning, circling the right thing to do. Go after Kenny, make his life difficult, even if I couldn’t bring him down, put so much pressure on him he wouldn’t dare do what he’d done to another girl. My gut told me I couldn’t sit by, silent.

But I was pregnant with a baby I wanted to keep secret.

I had a colorful past with men. My relationships weren’t neat and tidy. My image. My career. What had happened with Kenny was messy and could bury me just as easily.

Simpler to ignore that six-month window of my life. Except… I’d thought I was the only one. He’d called me special, irresistible, and made me question my view of what he did. Had I wanted it? Given some signal it was okay for him to treat me that way? If what happened was wrong, if I didn’t want it, why did I let it happen?

My hand strayed to my still-flat stomach, and I took a deep breath. I hoped this baby was a boy. Tyler would raise him to treat women better. The things little girls faced in the world? I hated thinking about it.

I’d been kind of awful to Tyler for the last few weeks since he arrived on the tour. One minute, I wanted to sleep with him again. The next, I worried he might sleep with my mom. Wouldn’t that be something? Me pregnant and him fucking the grandmother.

He wouldn’t.

At least, I didn’t think he would. No matter what I threw at him, he shrugged off my words or actions. Sometimes, he even seemed amused by them, by me. In another life, I might have rooted for him to become involved with my mom, weather those storms and stick around.

The only storms I wanted him to weather now were mine, and then I wanted him to get the hell out of my life. Far enough away that I never needed to worry about changing my mind, about considering a life that could never make me happy.

The doors to the bus opened, and I jumped back, the costume in my hand swinging beside me. My free hand flew to my chest, pressing against my heart. From the top of the stairs, Tyler looked down, amused. His expression made my stomach flutter. There was something comforting about his face. Not just his eyes or his voice.Him. His presence was the same as slipping under the covers of my childhood bed after being on tour for months.

“You going to stand out here all night, or did you want to climb aboard?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I believe that.” He chuckled. “Get up here. I’ll give you a lollipop.”

I gripped the handrail and then followed him onto the bus. At the top of the stairs, I tossed the ripped costume at him. He caught it easily, examining it with a slight frown.

“I didn’t know this was ripped.” His frown deepened.

He could probably tell I sliced the seam. I’d wanted to see him, but showing up without a reason felt stupid.

With a shrug, I shoved my hands into the pockets of my skirt and strolled around the main room.

“Something bothering you?” He passed me a lemon-ginger lollipop and flopped onto one of the leather couches while I let my attention dance across his personal things.

“Nothing is bothering me.”

“Come on, Mia. You’ve ignored me for the last couple of weeks, except during your shows. It’s fine. I get it. But last time you showed up here, you were upset. You’re here again. That costume didn’t rip. Someone cut it.” He raised his eyebrows, a hint of accusation crossing his face. “And there’s a weird aura around you.” He made a circling motion toward my body with his hand.

“You read people’s auras? Does this mean I need to give you a raise?” I turned and crossed my arms, leaning against his closet. “You some sort of mystic or psychic or some shit like that?”

“Now you’re deflecting.” A grin played at the edges of his mouth. He stretched his arms across the back of the couch. “Laura said you had a meeting with a producer today. How’d that go?”

“Why would my mother tell you that?” Annoyance rose up like a volcanic eruption.

“We were just chatting.”

“When?” I narrowed my eyes.

Tyler sighed. “I finally let her take me to coffee.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” I pointed to my belly. “You cannot sleep with the grandmother of your child. That’s a hard ‘no,’ Tyler. Gross. Just…don’t, okay?”