Page 41 of Mending Hearts

“Not really, no,” she said. “But I don’t think you’ll give me what I want.”

“Try me.” My heart kicked in my chest, and I had to remember not to drive her away. Baby steps.

“I want us to be friends.”

“I think we are.”

“Better friends. Friends who have sex.”

Warmth spread across my body like a wildfire. She’d definitely lassoed the attention of several body parts. “Friends who have sex?”

“Forget it. I knew you’d think it was a dumb idea.”

“No.” My voice was strangled. Her idea wasn’t dumb, just unrealistic. Friends who had sex were in a relationship. Any way you sliced the connection, what she described was exactly what all my long-term relationships had been. “If that’s what you want, what you’ve been thinking about, it’s not dumb.” God knows sex with her crossed my mind about five hundred times a day.

“But you’re not interested.”

I tugged her back against me so her ass connected with my erection, and she could feel just how interested I was. “It’s not that. But it’s a slippery slope. What about after the baby comes?”

“There is no after. We break ties. We’re just for now.” Her voice had the breathy tone I remembered from our one night together.

“Friendship and sex.”

“Might as well, right?” She turned in my arms and cupped my cheek. “The worst that could happen already did.”

My gut clenched at how naïve her statement was. Heartbreak. Mine. Hers. Maybe both of us. She’d never experienced it, not the romantic kind, anyway. Foolish to believe our hearts wouldn’t get involved. “You think that arrangement would work?”

“Sure. Why not?” She shifted closer, her hand dancing along my shoulder. “A few months of us getting what we need from each other. Doesn’t have to be more than that. No feelings. Friendship. Sex.”

Should I try to warn her of how devastating heartbreak could be? “After the baby arrives…”

“Once I lose the baby weight, I’m gone. You keep the baby, and I come back…” She took a deep breath, “to this.”

I wanted to say “no,” but my reaction wasn’t related to the sex or to the friendship, but rather to her coming back to this lifestyle, to this environment—alone. Months stretched between now and then. She’d already gone from zero involvement to friends with benefits. Could I get her all in? Is that even what I wanted? Did I want to be all in with her?

“That’s what you want?” A part of me resisted because we’d be making an already messy situation an absolute tornado of emotional madness. She might not feel the chaos coming, but I could sense the changing winds between us.

“I feel safe with you. I just want to feel safe for a while.”

Like an avalanche, any objections I’d had were swept away. I couldn’t deny her something so simple, something everyoneshould feel.

“Yeah, Mia. If that’s what you need, we can do that.” I located her face, and I brushed my thumb across her cheekbone. “Friendship tonight, though. We gotta make sure you’re okay.”

“Is it really me you’re worried about?” She toyed with the short strands of hair on top of my head.

“Both of you. I worry about both of you.”

Another lengthy silence lay between us while her fingers whittled away the tips of my hair. Should I ask what she was thinking? I could only nudge her so far. If there was even a sliver of light, I’d be able to see her expression. I wasn’t sure she’d have asked if the room wasn’t this dark, if the risk wasn’t minimized by hernotbeing able to see my face.

“We should probably seal the deal with a kiss, don’t you think?” she murmured.

Given how hard I was, that was probably the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. But she nailed me to the cross when she implied she only felt safe with me. A saint, a martyr, I’d do it all.

I drew her toward me, and somehow our lips found each other in the dark, gentle at first, testing. When she angled her head, deepening the kiss, and her tongue slipped into my mouth, I suppressed a groan. I couldn’t stop myself from tightening my grip on her, from meeting her tongue. The kiss went on, coming up for air, and then diving back in for more. When we finally broke apart, we were panting, and my muscles strained with the effort to hold back. Was it possible to die from a hard-on?

Mia touched her forehead to mine and whispered, “I forgot how good you were, how good this was. This is gonna be fun, Pretty Boy.” With a satisfied sigh, she nestled into my side, and it wasn’t long before her breathing evened out.

For a long time, I stared into the darkness and wondered if I was really keeping her safe with this new deal. A hell of a big risk. I told her I’d protect her, and I was a man of my word.

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