Page 44 of Mending Hearts

“Whatever is going on between the two of you is a bad idea. As much as I’d like to believe it’s possible, you can’t control your feelings. None of us can.”

“We’re friends.He’smy friend.” The conviction in my voice wasn’t fake. It felt true. In many ways, he was becoming my best friend, my most trusted person. “I’m not quitting. It’s a break. I need a break. I’m sick, and I need a break.”

Laura eased off the bed, stared at me and then shook her head. “Is the break his idea?”

In a way.“No, it’s mine. I don’t need you to understand it, but I need you to accept it.”

“Getting involved with him is a mistake. If this is about your father—”

“Tyler is nothing like Dad.” Bile rose in my throat. Laura thought I had a daddy complex. So gross. Tyler didn’t even look his age. “That’s disgusting. Like, really, really awful you’d suggest anything like that.”

“Tell me what guy in the industry you’re interested in, and I’ll get you an introduction. Are you lonely? Is that it? Eighteen months on the road is a long time. Too long, maybe. I…the tour seemed like a good idea. You’ve always loved the live shows, the energy from the crowd…”

“I want to go to Little Falls and write songs. That’s it.” I sighed and stretched out under the covers turning my back on her. “I’m tired.” And that was true, too. I was tired of talking about it, tired of living it, tired of feeling all of it.

A heavy silence filled the room. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

The soft whirl of the door sliding open was a relief. All the tension left my body in a rush, and I let out a deep breath.

“You’re still here.” Laura’s disappointed tone was evident even from the head of the bed.

“I am.” Tyler’s voice was almost too quiet to catch. I strained toward the sound. “The only person who gets to dismiss me is your daughter, and she wants me to stay.”

“She always has things she wants. You give in too much, and everyone loses.”

I thought about getting out of bed to defend myself or Tyler or maybe the two of us. When was the last time I had asked for anything?

At the soft knock on my doorframe, I turned to see Tyler silhouetted against the dim light from the living room.

“Did my mother vanish in a cloud of eau de pissed off?”

“How’d you guess?” A small smile twisted his lips in the dim light.

“She thinks we’re sleeping together.” I rolled my eyes. “And it’s not the sex part or the age gap that worries her.”

“The age gap was certainly her focus with me.” He came further into the room, his hands in his pants pockets.

“She’s worried I’ll give all this up for love.” I thrust my hands wide into the air. Saying it aloud clarified the ridiculousness. Give up this sure thing, the job keeping me afloat on something risky like a feeling. I giggled. “Can you imagine?”

Tyler leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

“You can imagine me doing that?” My laughter left in a rush.

“No, I can imagine love seeming more important than other things—material things.”

“Sure, like maybe I give you the last bite of my ice cream cone or something. But give up millions of dollars? Uh, I don’t think so.” I threw back the covers and crossed to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet. “And I like my job. Sometimes, I can’t believe I get paid so much to do these fun things.” I tilted my chin in the mirror, examining my makeup. “I just don’t always like the extras.” I ran the cloth under the warm water and wiped my face, the powder coming off easily.

Tyler’s arms stretched across the doorway, his gaze traveling my face in the mirror as I washed the powder away. “Like how you have to manipulate your mother to get what you want?”

“She doesn’t want me to throw away my life on something that won’t last.”

“Not all love ends. My dad died still in love with my mother.”

“Well,” I said, wiping my face one last time with the cloth before tossing it into the laundry, “he’s the exception. From what I’ve seen, all love goes away eventually.” I returned his gaze in the mirror andwondered whether my next question was wise. “Name one person you’ve loved in a romantic way.” I turned and pressed my back into the counter, eyebrows raised.

“You want to go down this road?” His look was long and searching.

“Friends, right? This is what friends talk about. Things that matter.”