Page 80 of Mending Hearts

“Oh, thank God,” Iwhimpered.

Once the intervals between resting and pushing started, I couldn’t think about anything except getting the baby out. I didn’t care how it happened anymore.

“One more good push, Mia. We’re almost there.”

“Again with that word.”

Tyler chuckled, and I glared at him.

He leaned down. “You’re doing great, Mini.”

“Sure. This whole thing has been great. So glad I agreed to do this.”

“And push. Come on. Come on. Keep going.”

I wanted to tape Dr. David’s mouth shut. Maybe staple it. Yes. A staple. Several staples.

A cry rang out in the delivery room.The baby. David passed the squirming, wailing ball to Katie, and she took it to the next room.

David had told them the baby would be cleaned and weighed in an adjoining space before being returned to them. Privately, I’d told David I didn’t want to hold the baby right away.

I lay back, afraid to ask what I’d had. I could sense Tyler’s anticipation. He leaned down and kissed my head.

“You were amazing, Mini. Just…wow.”

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the pillow. If the baby was a boy, it was a sign I should stay.

If the baby was a girl, it was a sign to go, to leave. I couldn’t stay, couldn’t take the chance I’d ruin her childhood the way my mother had ruined mine.

Katie came back carrying a bundle wrapped in pink.

My heart sank.

She stopped beside Tyler and gazed into the blanket. The longing spewing out of Katie was magnified by the baby. Tyler looked down atthe parcel cradled in her arms, excitement lighting his face. Seeing them shoulder to shoulder, both of them happy and excited, it was like they were the family unit. Katie, Tyler, and their baby.

If it was possible for a heart to shrivel into nothing, that’s what mine was doing. Curling up and dying.

With exaggerated care, Katie passed the baby to Tyler. His arms flexed as though expecting a heavier weight.

“She’s so tiny,” he whispered.

“Seven pounds.” Katie smiled. “Two weeks early, and she’s still seven pounds.”

I stared at him holding the baby. Our baby. I should be happy, but all I felt was this strange mixture of love for him and grief over what had passed. We’d never be the same again. I couldn’t process it.

“A girl,” he murmured before looking at me. He searched my face, tenderness in his gaze. With his thumb, he wiped the tears falling down my cheeks. “You did it. You did it.”

No, I hadn’t. My body had betrayed me. The baby should have been a boy.

“There’s some paperwork to fill out,” Katie said, her fingers grazing the edge of the blanket to catch another glimpse. “Whenever you’re ready, Tyler.”

“Give us a minute, will you?” He glanced at Katie and then nodded toward David, who was puttering around the room.

She took a last look at the baby before following her father out the door.

“You okay?” Tyler used one arm to pull a chair forward. “You look like someone just shot your dog.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

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