Page 85 of Mending Hearts

“How long ago?”

“Does it matter? I was working on getting you out of it. When it seemed like I might not be able to, I came here. I certainly wasn’t expecting to find you barefoot and pregnant.”

“I had shoes on, nice ones too.” I tossed the subpoena on the bed and rubbed my cheeks. What a disaster. Today would never have been my favorite day, or I never expected it to be. But Laura’s arrival, the subpoena, realizing I really, truly loved both Tyler and our baby, and now having to figure out where all the pieces went in the next three days was too much.

“Well, you’d better be wearing spectacular shoes when you waltz into that appointment,” Laura nodded toward my expanded tummy, “’cause that belly won’t be gone by then. People will be talking. We can only hope it’s about your shoes.”

Understanding dawned, and tears pooled in my eyes. I hated crying in front of her. I should have let Tyler stay. “The press will hound Tyler.” All the months of hiding the pregnancy had come to this. Once again, Kenny would be a black mark stamped on my life.

“After all of your social media bragging about your Pretty Boy, there’s little question about the father, is there?”

Bali was looking more appealing. If I went, I could stop the press from going after Tyler, from caring about Victoria’s existence.

I stared at my hands in my lap and wished I could quiet all the churning thoughts. “I need to be alone while I figure out what I want to do, okay? Just give me a bit of time.”

Tyler paused in the doorway, and my heart kicked at the sight of him. Love for him flooded me, and rather than fighting it, I let it rise and flow. I’d have plenty of time to fight that tide later. The papers were in his hand, and I wondered if Katie had helped him fill them out. How long would it take Katie to weasel into my place?

“Can you tell me what’s going on now?” He ran his free hand through his hair, and then came to stare into the bassinet where Victoria lay sleeping.

“I’ve been subpoenaed for a deposition in the Kenny Connors case.” Admitting that was the easy part. The rest of this was going to be hard. I’d talked to the lawyer we’d hired. The case wasn’t in court yet. If I broke things off with Tyler now, I might be able to protect him from the onslaught, from the disaster of my life careening around the corner.

“I figured it had something to do with him.” He took a deep breath. “When do you have to go?”

“I have to present myself in four days.”

“Four days?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Four days.”

“I’m going to…I’m going to head back to Nashville with my mom as soon as I’m out of the hospital. I can’t fly, so we have to drive.” My chin wobbled, and I prayed I could keep it together.

“As soon as you’re out of the hospital?” He sank into the chair beside my bed, but his gaze was focused on Victoria, not on me. “And after…will you come back?”

This was the hard part, the words I dreaded saying. “I don’t know.”

His jaw clenched, and it took a moment for him to respond. “I want you to. Selfish or not, I want you. I want this life we’ve built together.”

A sob slipped out, and he dropped the papers on the bed, his arms circling me, his lips in my hair.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I cried.

“Come back to us, Mia. We can figure the rest out.”

“I’m a mess, and I don’t just mean because I gave birth. I mean, like, seriously fucked up.”

“You’re not—”

“I am.” I pulled back from him and took a shuddering breath. “You know how I know? ’Cause for the last, like, four months I have been convincing myself that the baby was in love with you. Not me.The baby. Because if I was the one in love with you, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to leave.” My voice cracked. “I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stay.”

“Why can’t you stay? Beyond the court case, why can’t you?” His voice was rough, and he averted his gaze.

“I don’t know how to be a mom. I don’t. I don’t even know if Iwantto be one. And…and I can’t screw up her life or your life while I figure it out. I won’t.” When I looked up, he was staring down at me.

I could have hidden the truth behind my work. For almost nine months, I’d been telling Tyler I’d never stay, so he might have believed I wanted my old lifestyle more. But lying to him felt wrong. My love for Tyler was unequivocal, visceral, the realest thing I’d ever experienced,greater than any stage, any performance, any song I’d ever written or heard. When I looked at Victoria, thought of her, held her, I loved her, too. They deserved the best version of me, and that person wouldn’t exist for months, possibly years. Kenny’s case would detonate, shrapnel sinking into all of them, destroying everything.

“Will you stay with me one last night before you leave? I don’t…I don’t want this hospital room to be goodbye.” His voice hitched. “I don’t want this to be goodbye at all. I love you. I love you, Mia.”

“I love you, too.” Another sob almost consumed the words. “But I just don’t know if I can be good for you, good for her.”

“What did Laura say to you? What did she say?” His hand gripped mine. “Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. We’re both going to make mistakes. You’re good for both of us. You are.”

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