Page 96 of Mending Hearts

“Oh, my God,” Taryn and Rebecca breathed in unison behind me.

“I know, all of those reporters are hounding him.” My heart beat a drum solo in my chest.

“But what he said…” Taryn murmured. “I think I’m swooning over a guy. Rebecca, is this what swooning feels like?”

“If I wasn’t swooning myself, I’d be insulted right now.”

“I shouldn’t have left him, right? That’s what you’re telling me.” I put my head in my hands and sank into the closest recliner. “God, I miss him. Seeing him on the screen, it’s like getting a taste of a drug you thought you might be able to kick and realizing you can’t do it.”

“Why did you leave him?” Rebecca asked.

I was surprised Taryn hadn’t told her. We’d had a long talk about it the other night when we’d been up late trying to sort out my finances. “I don’t know how to be a mother.”

“Oh, honey.” Rebecca came around the chairs and sank into the one opposite me. “No one knows how to be a mother. Everyone is a novice with their first child. Everyone.”

“That’s not good enough.” I shook my head and stared at Rebecca. “You know what my mother has been like. What if I turn out to be just like her?”

With a sigh, Rebecca took my hands in hers. “Close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes?” I gave her a wary glance.

“Yes. Trust me.” Rebecca smiled.

Once my eyes were closed, I took a deep, centering breath. The breathing was a coping mechanism my mother had taught me when I’d first gotten famous. Remembering my mother hadn’t been all bad wasn’t what I needed right now. Maybe she hadn’t been all bad, but she’d been bad enough.

“Five years from now, if you could have anything you wanted, anything—what would it be?”

“Anything?” My voice cracked.

“What doyouwant, Mia?”

Tears slipped down my cheeks, and I wasn’t sure I could speak the words out loud around the lump in my throat.

“Youcanbe happy, Mia.” Rebecca cupped my face and drew me close. “But you have to know what you want, and then we need to take the steps to get you there. Taryn and I will help you get there.”

“I want Tyler. I want my baby. I want to know I can be a good mom.” A sob escaped, and Rebecca pulled me close. Taryn’s arms wrapped around us both, and her soothing sounds circled us all.

“Will you go to therapy, Mia? I think we can get you there, but we’re gonna need help,” Taryn said.

“I don’t want to turn out like Katie or like my mother. I don’t want to regret her or him or any of this.” I sobbed.

“I know a person,” Pasha said from the door.

I hadn’t realized Pasha had come into the house. Someone else must be at the gate to the property. We were expecting an onslaught of press now that I’d inadvertently revealed my condition at the deposition, andsince Tyler was harboring a baby, I was sure the crush of curiosity would be worse.

“You went to therapy?” I sniffed, taking a tissue from Taryn’s outstretched hand.

“Yes. Someone I love die. I need help. I go. Very good. You like her.” Pasha tugged his wallet out of his pants and removed a card.

“The choice is yours, Mia.” Rebecca took it and flipped it between her fingers. “But I think if what you want is Tyler, Victoria, and to know if you’re capable of being a good mother, then I think this is the first step.”

Tears flooded my vision as I looked between Taryn, Rebecca, and Pasha. “Make the call,” I whispered. “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

Chapter Thirty

Tyler

When the knock sounded on the door, I froze for a second, waiting to see whether the noise would wake Victoria from her nap. She liked her sleep. I shut her bedroom door tight and then checked the peephole. Gerald, one of two bodyguards Mia had sent, was out there, so whoever was knocking had to be approved.

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