Page 20 of Bullet

When I made it to her, she slept peacefully like a little angel. I placed a sweet kiss on her cheek. I gently nudged her awake, then carried her downstairs. Bulley waited there with our things, and we slipped into our belongings. Mama came and found us, and we hugged her before we left the compound. SZA "Good Days" played in Bulley's SUV and calmed me. I loved SZA, and the song was a pleasant reminder that there were good days to come.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived home.

"Go relax, baby. I've got baby girl."

"Okay, baby. Thank you for sharing the load with me."

"No, thank you is needed, angel. Go rest." I smirked when he kissed my forehead before I walked away.

My tired legs carried me to our room, where I kicked off my shoes and then balled up in his bed. I didn't even take my clothes off. It was shameful behavior. I knew better than to lay in bed with my street clothes on, but my body was too tired. My heavy lids grew heavier, and I drifted off to sleep, praying that Pop Pop's soul made it to heaven.

June

A few weeks had gone by since Pop Pop's funeral. Bulley had planned a beautiful picnic for us three at the river. The sun was out and kissed our skin. He picked up our food and snacks from Doc Brown's just like we used to when we were teenagers. Bulley took Clear down to the slow-flowing stream while I sat on the blanket and read through Great Grandpa Raleigh's journal. Reading his and Pop Pop's words helped me through my grief. I must say it helped. My eyes read over the last passage on the page, so I decided to read out loud.

October 1925

It was cold and rainy, and I was tired. My eyes burned from the tears that I could no longer hold back. Sigman and I had worked hard to secure the loan for our weapons company. It would be the first black-owned weapon company in the North. Our late nights on the railroad had finally paid off. However, the longer I looked at Sigman, the more I wanted to kill him. I could handle the white man's hate but not his betrayal. His betrayal ripped through me again.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yes!" he spat and snatched his hat off his head.

"I don't understand, Sigman. This is madness! Utter damn madness. When did you have this epiphany of all sudden?" I questioned with my arms folded.

"When I found out I had a son coming. I'm disgusted with myself. I don't want him to be like me. What we did or had was a sin. I don't wanna live my life like this no more. It was fun at first, but reality has set in. We're married with families. Now, let's put this behind us and create an unstoppable company. What do you say?"

I shook my head. "No. No."

"What you mean no?"

"Just like I said, hell no. I don't love my wife the way I love you. I'm in love with you."

"Argh! Shut the hell up. Do you think we can be lovers in this generation we're in? We'll be labeled a couple of sissy boys, bring shame to our families, and probably killed weeks after our announcement. I don't know about you, but I refuse to publicly disgrace my father's name. You shouldn't either, seeing as your father is a Baptist preacher. Raleigh, we gotta move past this."

"I'm sorry, but I can't. I love you too much, Sigman. I'm tired of living undercover."

"Raleigh, this is the 1920s in Decatur, Illinois. You will be undercover until the day you die. I refuse to go down with you."

He walked away from me and over to the table in our workshop. Sigman grabbed one of the black bags of money and tossed it at me.

"What are you doing?"

"That's your share of the money. You earned it. There's no getting through to you. You go start your weapons company, and I'll do the same."

I removed my gun from my waistband and raised it at him. "No, damn way. I'll kill you before I allow you to live without me."

Sigman removed his gun and aimed it at me. "I'm not afraid of you. I will live my life without yo' crazy ass in it."

"We'll just see about that."

I fired my gun twice, but it only hit Sigman in his arm. He howled but quickly shot me in my knee and arm. He was the best damn marksman in Decatur. I fell to my knees and yelled in pain and at him. Sigman grabbed his share of the money and ran away, holding his arm.

"To hell with you! Rot in hell! If you won't be my lover, then you are my enemy for life! The Clips will forever be the Views' mortal enemies!" I angrily spat through my tears.

I covered my mouth in utter disbelief and shock. My eyes widened, and I held my great-grandfather's journal to my chest. What the holy hell?I'd cracked the code. I now knew why we had a family beef with the Clips, but say it wasn't so. Lord, this can't be true. I was flabbergasted. All this drama and fuckin' beef was all because Sigman broke Raleigh's heart. Mama told me that it was Pop Pop's idea that I go through the stuff in the storage container on the campgrounds. I guess he'd already knew the truth, but it died with him. He wanted me to know so I could know the truth as well. I assumed it was his last attempt to make amends with me. This truth was a hard pill to swallow, but all those who'd fault the Views vs. Clips feud for generations would be astonished to know they'd been fighting the broken hearts of gay lovers.

"What's wrong, baby? You good?" Bulley walked up with Clear in his arms. He laid down in front of me and Clear straddled my lap.