Page 6 of Bullet

We all walked into the house, with Clear gripping my mama's hand and taking a seat on her lap once we made it into the kitchen. Grandma Tula moved around the kitchen, poured glasses of lemonade, and placed an assortment of finger sandwiches in front of us. She was so hospitable and caring. Once we'd all taken a few sips of our drink and bites from our sandwiches, I cleared my throat and looked around.

"Will someone tell me what's going on? I feel like something is wrong?"

Mama nodded and soothingly rubbed Clear's back. "There is, baby. I'm here because Pop Pop is dying. He can pass any day because his heart is too weak to continue. Pop Pop's last wish is to see his Crystal ball's face before he ascends this world."

My tears coursed down my face. I sniffled, and then a full-on sob broke through me. My Pop Pop was about to leave me. I was still pissed that he sent me away, but I never wished him any ill will. He also never mistreated me. He'd love me fully, but their life of crime and prestige came before everybody. I wiped myface and looked at Mama. "What about surgery or a transplant? Does he not have options?"

She shook her head. "No, baby. He's too old and weak for surgery. Sadly, he won't survive it," Mama responded. "He wants you and baby girl to visit him. When he passes away, you have to stay for the will. You're in there, baby girl, just like your brothers. What do you say? Will you and Clear Bell come back with me?"

I exhaled before responding. "I'm not sure, Mama. I love me some Pop Pop, but I ain't been back in four and a half years. Everyone looks at me like I'm the black sheep of the family. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Daddy blamed me for Pop Pop's condition. I don't know, Mama. I'll need a little time to think."

She rubbed the top of my hand soothingly. "Understandable, love. I'll be here for three days. If you decide not to come with me, then I'll give them your regards and send your will gift to you. I won't pressure you at all."

"Thank you for understanding, Mama."

I was lost in thought for the remainder of the day. Pop Pop was more of a father to me than my own daddy. My heart ached just like when I had to leave Bulley.Bulley.Would I see him? What would I say if I did? I shook my head of those thoughts. What we had was over, and I only planned on staying for a few days and then returning. There was no telling the man he was today and if he was single or not. It didn't matter though. I'd lost all the energy to fight with my brothers and Daddy over Bulley. The day went on, and we enjoyed a dinner of Mississippi pot roast, baby mashed potatoes, and a house salad prepared by hand. Grandma Tula had taught me right. Mama stepped out for a minute, so I bathed Clear and then braided her long hair into plaits. Once we'd said our prayers, I tucked her in and then lay next to her.

Her light was off, but her plug-in strobe light lit up her ceiling, with stars, suns, and moons dancing along the walls and ceilings. We always cuddled together before I went into my room for the night. She and I were in a comfortable silence until her little voice filled the room. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, Little Clear?"

"When we go and see Pop Pop, will I be able to see my daddy? You told me he lives where Pop Pop lives."

I was too stunned to speak right away. That was an absolute first. The way she played and lived her life, I didn't think she was interested in meeting him. Clear never said anything until now. However, the question remained: will she be able to see Bulley?

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Little Clear, anything is possible with God by our side. Close your eyes and get some rest."

"Okay, Mommy." She turned on her side and slowly dozed off.

I wiped my tears from my eyes as I looked at the framed photo on her nightstand by the window. It was the picture of Bulley and me at the river. I took a selfie of him holding me from the back. We'd enjoyed a picnic he had planned for us, and it was one of the best dates we'd ever had because we didn't get caught that day. I had that picture stored away with a few other keepsakes I hid in the back of my closet from Daddy and Pop Pop. From the time Clear could talk, I told her all about her daddy. I refused to make up some stupid lie to appease Daddy and Pop Pop. With me, my baby would always find the truth.

I pulled the covers up her small body before quietly exiting her room.

Grandma Tula and Poppy had retreated to their room already, so I decided to lock up and have myself a midnight snack before I went to bed. When I entered the kitchen, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Mama and Antonio kissing onthe back patio. Well, well, well. This explained why she didn't give a damn about what Daddy had going on. That fine-ass Italian man had her full attention. I smirked, removing a saucer and raspberry fruit tart from the refrigerator and enjoying it at the table. Minutes later, Mama entered the kitchen with a girlish smile on her face when she saw me. She placed a curl behind her ear and joined me at the table.

Seconds went by before I swallowed and licked my fork. "So, I take it this has been going on for a while."

She nodded. "Yeah, baby girl. I'd noticed him, but it wasn't until the second year of your living here that we took things to the next level. He's kind, easygoing, and a hardworking man. Antonio understands the situation I'm in, and he's biding his time until I leave your father."

My eyes bulged. "You plan to leave Daddy."

"Yeah, baby. I can't take any more of that crime lifestyle. I'm tired of packing heat just in case something pops off. I've been over his cheating and lies. He spends more time at the Wet Cat than with me. I deserve better, and I've been making preparations for my exit. No amount of money or therapy can keep me with him. I'm disgusted by him. I can't even sleep next to him, let alone fuck him. Antonio is a real man, and he's equipped with everything to make me happy. Please don't judge me or be disappointed in me. I'm ready for a quieter and peaceful life," she expressed and wiped her eyes.

I reached across the table and grabbed onto her hand. "Mama, you are a strong and kind woman, and you deserve to live a soft girl life. It is not too late. If Antonio makes you happy, then go and be happy. After listening to your truth, I've decided to see Pop Pop and close up a few loose ends of my own, and then I'm coming back here. I want nothing to do with that lifestyle or that compound. My life is here in Arizona now, and soon yours will be too."

"Yes, it will," she agreed.

We held hands and stared into each other's eyes. I loved seeing my mama so happy and full of life again. She gave me hope. Maybe there was somebody out there for me. I wouldn't rush it, though. I wanted it to happen as naturally as possible, just like it did when I first met Bulley.

May2025

"Big Bulley! I love it, Courtney. You did your big one with my vest."

My eyes roamed over my new custom-designed vest. Our vests were black and leather, and our motorcycle club emblem was gray and red. It was skeleton bones shaped in an X with motorcycle handlebars on each side. I loved the creativity and artistry behind our emblem.

Courtney looked up and smiled as she handed the rest of the crew their new vests. We were long overdue for some new ones.

"Thank you, Bullet. I tried to bring all y'all ideas to life."

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