Page 51 of Corrupt Me

All sound vanishes except our harsh breathing.

I whip my head to her, my voice edging on gruff. “You want me to fuck you?”

She flinches, chewing on her lower lip. “Don’t be so crass about it.”

She’s beet red, but she doesn’t avert her gaze. It was not a figment of my imagination. Her words reverberate around us, sucking the air from the room, leaving me gasping for oxygen. All the blood rushes to my dick. This is the first time I acknowledge that she does that so effortlessly. Usually, I have to push myself to be able to perform, not with her. Never with her.

“That’s what I can offer. Are you sure you want that? You wasted your first kiss on me.”

“You took that. Take my virginity as well. With your extensive experience, it shouldn’t be hard.”

I cock my head, my throat vibrating with a harsh, derisive sound. “My extensive experience, huh? Because I am a fuck boy, right, Bailey? And apparently, you’re on a rebellious streak and want to be a bad girl.”

“What if I want that? Hmm? I’ve been good all my life. I tried to make myself invisible and stay in a corner. What did that get me?”

“No.”

“No?” Her eyes bulge with sheer incredulity.

“You heard me.”

I can’t do this. She deserves her first time to be with someone who loves her. Someone who will worship the ground she walks on and look at her as if she’s the only one in the world. That can’t be me: an emotionally stunted man with a truckload of demons. I know her; she’d dig and dig until she found out why I am the way I am. And I refuse to share that with anyone. I don’t want pity. I’d rather convince myself that it was consensual so I can live with what happened to me.

“Fine,” she says with a bite of irritation.

“Fine?” Now I sound confused.

“You heard me.” She throws my answer back at my face. Always challenging me.

“We do what we have to do, right? I will get over it if Eric is going to be my first.”

“What the fuck did you just imply?”

She pushes the tip of her nose in the air, crossing her arms over her chest. “It doesn’t seem important to you, so why would it be hard for me. It’s just sex, right?”

I crack my neck, and in one swift movement, I am in her face, pushing her onto the bed. Crawling on top of her, my hand snakes around her slender throat even though I don’t need to hold her in place, but I like feeling her pulse flicker. That’s the fucking issue. I could never get rid of my need to control. But the fucked up thing is I don’t have any control when it comes to her.

“Don’t you say that again. You won’t like the consequences.”

She sighs and cups my cheek, soothing my turmoil. I lean into her touch on instinct. She has no idea she’s the only girl who has touched me except her. Lowering my forehead to hers, I shut my eyes, trying to shove that thought away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It’s apparent that you don’t want me like that.”

I let out a disgruntled sound. “It’s not that, angel.” I want her with every messed-up fiber of my being. I want to shove my painfully hard dick inside of her and alleviate this madness flowing through my veins. One time, and then maybe I’ll be cured. Just once to feel her from the inside out.

My stupid mouth opens, blurting things I didn’t have time to filter. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. Even from me. Especially from me.”

She brushes her palm over my cheek in a gentle caress. “Don’t be a gentleman. I don’t want that from you. I want that side that you think is messed up… I guess people like us, we feel the brokenness in each other.”

“You can’t heal me.”

“You don’t even let me try.”

“I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love. Like you said, I fuck. Do you want to be one of many?”

She’s the only one who would matter, but she can’t know that. I just need her to stop wanting me. The thought of her liking someone else maddens me to the point that I want to slam my head into the wall and go on a killing rampage, erasing any possible competition.

Her hand drops, and I instantly miss her soothing touch.

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