Page 52 of Corrupt Me

“I won’t be clingy.”

“You say that now,” I groan, furious at myself and my principles.

Her head falls back, and she closes her eyes for a moment. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough for tonight.”

“Don’t. Saying what you want is sexy as fuck. Never stop. It’s just not me.”

Her chin dips in a small nod, and I push myself off her. A chill instantly replaces the warmth in my body. I remind myself that I am doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

With a crushing weight that threatens to break me, I slip out of her room and bang my head against the wall next to it.

“Try harder,” Blake says. “Maybe it will get your head straight.”

“Fuck you,” I pass him and go downstairs. Torn between drinking and fighting, I opt for the latter. If I exhaust myself, I may forget the emotional chaos waging war in my heart, body, and mind.

Blake follows me to the gym, and as I tape my hands, he does the same, eyeing me. “You look like you need to get something off your chest.”

“I am fucked up, man.”

“Me too. Do you know what helped in my case? Giving in, taking something for myself even though I didn’t believe I deserved it. Mia is my beacon of light. She makes everything better.”

“Bailey deserves someone I am not.”

“I get that. I struggled with feeling unworthy of Mia for a long time, but in the end, it doesn’t matter what I think because she loves me just as I am. She chose me. In our need to protect the ones we love, we tend to forget it’s as much of a choice for them as it is for us. And that’s how it gets better—together. Now imagine she moves on and finds that ‘someone’ you think is out there.”

The thought alone makes me swing at him, but he deflects my punch, and we fall into a sparring rhythm.

“That pisses you off, doesn’t it? Because in your mind, she’s already yours.”

Mine. And that’s the fucking problem. For the first time in my life, I want something just for myself—and that is Bailey.

We fight until the door opens, and Mia steps inside. She smiles so brightly at Blake that he immediately stops sparring. “Sorry, have to get my girl to bed.”

“Fuck you. Stop putting that image in my head.”

Mia giggles. “Heed our example. You seem like you need to relax.”

I flip her the bird. Torn between two decisions, I punch the bag, trying to gather the courage to follow a path that will only ruin me.

My heart still races as I stare at the ceiling. I wish Hunter could see how beneficial he has been to me. I tapped into a side of myself that was always there yet shackled by insecurities. Emerging from my cocoon, I was forever transformed. I wanted him to acknowledge that, to see me—not as a butterfly, a delicate fairy, or a girl hiding behind her screens, but as a woman. A woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.

My heart yearns for him. My skin aches for his touch. My lips tingle for another kiss. His presence stirs a longing inside me I can’t quench. Not having him is the worst form of torment.

My feelings for him bore too deep to quantify. It’s as if I’ve been programmed to love him. How else would it make sense that I see only him, want only him? Until Hunter, I had never truly had an interest in anyone. Until him, I didn’t know what blinding desire and unadulterated need were. Every day for months now, I’ve had to face the fact that I felt something for him from the moment his eyes met mine. And then, click—the glitch in my system vanished, like a switch was flipped, making me his.

I expected him to give in, especially after tonight, but he’s stubborn. So damn stubborn. He is not the asshole I made myself believe. Behind his icy walls, he’s a protector, even at the cost of his well-being.

While I am not experienced, I felt he was hard when he laid on top of me, and that look in his eyes burned with lust—for me. I know he wants me because his desire mirrors my own. I guess we’re both bad at expressing or understanding our feelings. I won’t even hint at his experience—it always seems to put him off. Why, though? I yearn to know him, covet everything he has to offer and give him everything of myself in return. But I have to respect that he doesn’t want that. I can’t push him. Maybe it’s for the best, anyway. One night with him would never be enough, though I’d still take it.

What the future holds is impossible to foresee. I never thought much about it because mine has always been on standby. Waiting for my parents to decide my path, waiting to be acknowledged by Grandmother.

Even if I know what I want to do and am free to pursue it, my future is still blurry because someone is out there waiting to rip it away from me. Hunter made me see that I deserve more. I am hungry to taste happiness and have an intimate relationship. Looking at my friends, I long for that endless love too. But maybe that’s not for me. Maybe it’s my destiny to be waiting, forever aching for something.

Now, it’s him, and denying it would be pointless. The silver-eyed, unreachable, broody man who has awakened a part of me only to leave me standing there with outstretched arms. It wouldn’t be the first time, but it hurts even worse.

A deep sigh rocks my chest when my door opens, and Hunter strides inside. His presence sucks up every thought, every breath, leaving me bare and ready to be filled with him. His stern gaze is fixed on me as he closes the door, locking it. He had never done that before. My heart hammers so hard it might crack my chest open with the implications.

“I’ll do it. I’ll take your virginity.”

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