Page 10 of Choosing Skyler

“Begged is more like it. She said that she didn’t want you to worry about her ‘like thatagain’. You want to elaborate on that? Because she wouldn’t and I didn’t get the chance to press further because she passed out,” I tell him, feeling like I’m missing something important.

“No,” is all he says for a long minute. Just when I’m about to push further, he sighs. “Are you sure the look on her face was what you thought it was? In the bathroom, I mean. You said ‘sparkle of lust’ or some shit, but could it have been fear or discomfort of any kind? I need to know for sure before I tell you anything else.”

“I don’t read faces like you do and I may not know Skyler like you do, but I know lust when I see it. It was definitely lust in the bathroom. In the hallway, it was definitely fear with maybe a heavy dose of embarrassment,” I tell him honestly.

“Yeah, okay. That makes sense,” he states.

“What the hell makes sense?! None of this makes sense to me! I scared the hell out of her. So bad, she had a panic attack, and I don’t even know what I did to cause it. If I make her that uncomfortable, I can’t stay here. I won’t make her afraid in her own home. Especially, if I don’t even knowwhatI did to scare her. I’ll go back to that shithole by the interstate before I do that to her!” I’m shouting at this point.

It seems that while Devon has calmed down and has it all figured out, I've ramped myself right up. I’m spinning and I don’t know how to stop it. Devon glances back through the door before putting his hand on my arm in a calming gesture.

“Stop! You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t evenyouthat scared her. It was the situation, and you are most definitely right about the embarrassment.” He snickers.

I’m breaking down over here and the bastard is laughing at me.

“Stop!” he says again more seriously. “I can’t tell you everything. It’s not my place. I’ve already told you that she’s sensitive and doesn’t trust easily. You’ve seen how she worries what people think of her and she’s definitely not comfortable with her own body even though she’s a knockout. I can tell you a little aboutus. While I’ve seen her in her underwear plenty of times going to and from the bathroom and in the dressing room at the mall and she’s seen me in boxer shorts the same way, she hasneverseen me in just a towel,” he says and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, shit. But I thought you two…” I start, but he cuts me off.

“That’s it. That’s all you get from me. She’s scared of herself, NOT you. Got it?” he says with a raised brow.

“Yeah, okay,” I reply, running my hand over the back of my head. “You think I should look for another place?”

“Hell, no! Everything you said about not hurting her? That’s exactly why youneedto stay here. She needs to know she can have someone other than me to lean on and you need to know that you still have family. Me for one, but Sky comes with the territory now.” He looks at his watch and I do the same—it’s six thirty. “Let her sleep for another hour or so. Then, we’ll wake her up and talk. It usually takes her about two hours to sleep off a panic attack before she’s coherent enough for a conversation,” he says, turning towards the door.

“She’s been asleep for two hours,” I tell him, confused.

“Are you sure?” His eyes widen in shock.

“Hell yes, I'm sure. I was stressing over what the hell I was gonna say to you for an hour before you got home,” I tell him.

“That’s… Huh… Wow, man. It’s never taken me less than two hours to calm her down enough to sleep off a panic attack. You must be the Sky whisperer or some shit. Guess you found your superpower.” He smirks.

Chapter 5

Skyler

I wake with a start when I’m lifted off the couch in familiar arms.

“Devon?” I mumble sleepily.

“Yeah, Sweets. I’ve got you.” He kisses my forehead and carries me to my room.

He doesn’t say anything else, but I don’t expect him to right away. This was a normal routine for us the first two years of college. I still have panic attacks occasionally, but they are few and far between. He sets me on my feet and wraps me in a hug, rubbing my back through the afghan I still have wrapped around me. I lean into his chest and take a deep breath. Then it all comes rushing back. The lust, the embarrassment, the fear, thepanic.

Devon’s arms get tighter. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’ve got you.”

We?I take a few more deep breaths and straighten out of Devon’s hug.

“I’m okay,” I say, pulling the blanket tighter around me. “I’m sorry, Devon. It just came out of nowhere. I don’t know what happened,” I babble, hoping he won’t push for the reason I had my first panic attack in almost a year. I don’t want him to think Brady did anything wrong, because he didn’t. “What time is it?” I ask, noticing the sun isn’t nearly as bright coming through my window as I expected.

“Almost seven,” he replies.

Shit. That means Devon has been home for over an hour. What are the chances that Brady didn’t tell him everything?

There’s a soft knock at the door and Devon calls out, “Come in, Brady.”

When Brady peeks his head in and I look up at him, I know.

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