Page 44 of Choosing Skyler

Chelsea looks at me and I nod, starting to feel exhaustion pull me under. I fight it. I don’t want to go back to sleep.

Devon leans in and whispers in my ear. “It’s okay, Sweets. Sleep. We’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Brady moves back into my other side. “Right here, Beautiful. It’s okay. Rest.”

I feel their hands wrap around mine, tethering me to safety and I drift off. Not the same as before. This is just a normal, exhausted sleep. So, I let it take me, knowing they’ll be here to pull me back.

Brady

After Skyler drifts to sleep, Chelsea sobs, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to her. I was trying to make it better.”

Tracey puts her arm around her mother’s shoulders. “It’s okay, Mom. She’s okay. Right?” she says, looking between Devon and me.

“She’s okay,” Devon assures her. “What you said didn’t cause the panic attack. She just wanted to talk and couldn’t. Luckily, Brady and I have some experience with panic attacks.” He smirks. “She’ll sleep it off in a couple of hours and feel terrible that you were here to see it. It’s not your fault, Chelsea. You just gave us the best news we’ve had in days. Please don’t feel bad for that.”

She lets out a relieved sigh. “I hope you’re right. I couldn’t forgive myself for making her condition worse.”

I step forward. “You didn’t. She’s okay,” I assure her. “Why don’t we eat while she’s asleep? I’m dying to dig into one of your cinnamon rolls.” I laugh.

“Oh! Of course. Help yourself.” Chelsea smiles.

We all dig into the pastries, making sure to save one of each for Skyler. Hopefully, everything goes well this afternoon, and she can eat real food. After he eats his bear claw, Devon decides to nap while Skyler does since he only got about an hour of sleep before I called him last night. Tracey and Chelsea offer to go to the apartment and grab a few of Skyler’s things to make her hospital stay easier.

Once they leave, I decide to shower and dress in regular clothes since I’ve been sporting sweats since yesterday. Then, I sit in the chair next to Skyler, holding her hand and doing something I haven’t done since Mom died. I pray.

“Dear, God. Be with Skyler and help her through this. Heal her and make her know that no matter the outcome, we all love her. Hold her up and guide us to help her however we can. Keep us in your protection and loving arms. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.” I look up to see Devon watching me.

He stands and comes over to me, squeezing my shoulder as he speaks. “If I don’t hug someone right now, I might lose it myself, man.”

So, I stand and let him wrap me in a bear hug. He holds me tight for a minute and when he pulls back, I see the tears on his face. I feel like shit, because I’m so used to him being the rock that I sometimes forget that he’s as human as the rest of us. Even if he’s not as much of a mess.

“It’s okay to fall apart, Dev. God knows you hold the rest of us up while we do it,” I tell him.

“I’m okay,” he says, wiping his eyes.

“Bullshit! I’ve leaned on you enough over the years. Lean on me for once. Fall apart if you need to. I’ve got you, man,” I tell him, pulling him back into a hug.

He clings to me and cries into my shoulder. After a few minutes, he straightens and tells me, “I was so fucking scared she wouldn’t wake up. I cried myself to sleep every night after praying to God that he would bring her back to us,” he sobs. “I guess seeing you praying for the first time in forever struck a nerve. I’m sorry, man.”

“Don’t even with that ‘I’m sorry’ shit. How many times have you held me while I fell apart? I lost count a long ass time ago. It’s way past time I did the same for you. You’re the rock for everyone, all the damn time. You need to know that we’re here for you too. I’ve taken you for granted for way too long. That shit is going to change, starting right the fuck now and I’m pretty sure Skyler feels the same way,” I tell him.

“No!” he exclaims. “She needs us more than ever right now. She doesn’t need to be leaned on byanyof us. We can fall apart on each other, but not on her. Not now.”

“I know that,” I tell him. “But did you see the way she looked at you and Tracey, earlier. She feels like shit that she didn’t see it before and who knows what she heard before she woke up? You’ve got to be honest with her. If you hide it, she’ll feel like you don’t trust her with it. You want to put that on her?” I ask him pointedly.

“No. You’re right. I won’t keep anything from her, but I won’t put it on her shoulders either. I made my choices. That’s not her fault and I won’t have her taking the blame for it. Will you back me up on that with her?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, man. I’ve got you. I won’t have her blaming herself for something she didn’t even know about. Do you want to talk about it? What’s going on with you and Tracey now that she knows you and Skyler aren’t together?” I ask him.

He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “We’ve talked about it. She hid her feelings because she thought Sky and I were together. I hid my feelings because she thought Sky and I were together. Not to mention she’s been on again, off again with Joey the whole time and I’ve got a lust/hate thing with him too. It’s a lot to unpack. So, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Wow. Yeah, that’s a lot. I’m here for you, though. You know that, right? I love you, man,” I tell him.

“I know. I love you, too. Have I mentioned how fucking happy I am that you’re here?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, but are you sure about that? I feel like I’ve just uprooted your whole life here, man,” I tell him honestly.

“Hell yes, I’m sure about that! I’ve wanted to get you and Sky to meet forever. I knew you two were meant to be, even if you didn’t know each other yet. I’ve tried to get her to come home with me every time I went back, but she didn’t want to ‘intrude’.” He scoffs. “I feel a little guilty for saying this, but I knew that once you two met, I could find what’s out there for me. It would have been easier to be in love with her for real. But that just wasn’t where we were. It wasn’t where we ever would be, and I wanted us both to have somethingreal.”

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