Page 53 of Choosing Skyler

He stands and tells Devon, “Her heart sounds normal and her heart rate is good. I was concerned that she may have suffered a stroke, but I don’t think that’s the case. Let’s get her into the CT and go from there, okay?”

“Okay,” Devon and Brady both answer.

He continues to ask questions as we walk down the hall. “When was she last responsive? Did anything happen to trigger theepisode? Has this ever happened after a panic attack before?” Before he opens the door we’ve stopped in front of, he turns toward us. “We’re going to do the head CT first since it’s potentially the most vital. Then, we’ll continue with the neck CT. I’ll stay and observe the scan in real time. Please refrain from asking questions until the scan is completed so that I can concentrate on the images. Agreed?”

“Yes,” they both answer.

As he opens the door he explains, “They will inject her IV with the contrast and both scans should take about an hour to complete. You’re both welcome to wait in the waiting area or accompany me in the observation room, but only if you stay quiet until the scan is complete,” he says again.

“Can I sit with her and hold her hand?” Brady asks. “We promised we wouldn’t leave her alone.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t allow it except for small children, but this is an unusual case. So, I’ll let you sit with her, but please remain as still as possible. I’ll advise the technician,” Dr. Henley says when Brady agrees.

Devon pushes the chair into the room for me to be prepped for the CT scan. The doctor advises the technician of the situation and allowances he’s making for Devon and Brady. She doesn’t question him. She just prepares the dye and injects it into the IV in my arm. When I don’t stand to get on the table as she instructs, Brady lifts me up and lays me on the table. He takes my hand, sitting in the wheelchair next to the table.

I lay in the machine while it does what it does. This machine is a little scary. I can feel Brady’s hand around mine, but I don’t squeeze like I want to.I have to get used to doing this on my own. It’s best for Brady. It’s best for everyone,I remind myself.

Brady

I felt it in the elevator. She wanted to look at me when I demanded it, but shechosenot to. It was like a string snapping in two. She was just gone.She left me.

I’ve been listening to everything Devon and Dr. Henley say, but they don’t realize that she decided to leave us.To leave me.It doesn’t matter. I promised I’d stay with her—to choose her. So, that’s what I’ll do. Even if being alone is the price for choosing Skyler, I’ll stay. She’ll come back to me eventually. Shehasto. She loves me too. She just needs to choose me over the darkness that took her from me. I’ll get her back.

The machine stops and the technician comes in and advises us that the test is over. I stand and lift Skyler off the table and set her down in the wheelchair. I push her out, following the technician as she leads us to an office down the hall. Devon and Dr. Henley are already there, talking without us.

Dr. Henley looks up. “Brady, Skyler. Please join us. I have great news. The CT didn’t reveal any type of brain injury. Skyler, your vocal cords are also showing signs of healing already. So, if you keep at it, you should regain some of your vocal function anytime. Once you do, we can start voice therapy to strengthen your voice as the cords continue to heal. At that point I can release you to a full diet and you can eat whatever you’d like. How does that sound?”

Is he kidding with this shit? She’s not trying to communicate at all, let alone speak.I look at Devon and he just shakes his head. I can read him well enough to know that I’ve missed an important conversation. For whatever reason, Dr. Henley thinks this is the way to bring her back. I’ll jump right on that band wagon.

“That sounds great, huh, Beautiful? We’ll be hitting up TG’s for karaoke night and bar food before you know it,” I say excitedly.

Devon winks at me with a sad smile and I know I’ve got it right. Then, he jumps in. “Yeah, karaoke sounds great as long as you promise not to let Brady sing. Please, Sky. You gotta help me out here. My ears can’t take it.”

Dr. Henley smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s not get carried away. You’re a long way from karaoke, but it’s not in the unforeseeable future. You’ll definitely get there in time,” he tells her. “In the meantime, let’s keep working on slowly trying to get your voice back at all. Remember what I said this morning. Don’t strain yourself. It’s getting close to lunchtime, and I hear you’ve got some stroganoff coming. I may stop by for plate of that, myself,” he says with a wink.

Skyler still sits with her head down. She may as well be back to unconsciousness.No. This is worse.At least those first few days I could feel her fighting to get back to us. Now it’s like she’s drifting further away with no fight left in her.

When she doesn’t reply, the doctor continues. “Well, I’ve ordered you some new medication. It should help with your anxiety. Your nurse will be in with your first dose as soon as you get back to your room. I’ll see you first thing in the morning, but feel free to call me if you need anything before then,” he says to Skyler, but then he looks at Devon and me to be sure we know he means it for us.

We both nod and thank him before leaving the office. When we get into the elevator, Devon falls back against the wall and puts his face in his hands. He’s behind Skyler’s chair. So, she can’t see him falling apart.Maybe she should. Maybe it would drag her back to us.I know I’m being selfish, but I’m afraid the longer she’s gone, the harder it will be to get her back.

He pulls it together and clears his throat. “Oh, Chelsea called while we were waiting for you to come into Dr. Henley’s office, Sweets. That’s how he knew about lunch. She will be here by the time we get back to the room. She brought the stroganoff in a crock pot so it will stay warm, and you can have it for dinner too. Unless you want something else for dinner. One of us will go get you whatever you want. Right, Brady?” Devon says a little desperately.

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you want, Beautiful. Just let us know,” I tell her.

As soon as we enter the room Chelsea and Tracey both run to greet us. Tracey’s eyes are red and puffy from crying, and I can tell that she’s been informed. I smile sadly at her, and Devon wraps her in a bear hug. She squeezes him around the waist, and I know he needs it as much as she does. I look to Chelsea and offer to help with lunch.

“Oh, yes. I forgot the plates and silverware. Do you think you and Devon could go to the nurses’ station to see if they have some we can use?” she asks me, glancing pointedly at Skyler. “I’ll get Skyler settled at the table.” She chokes up a little but covers it with a cough.

“Of course,” I tell her, turning to Devon who’s just straightening out of Tracey’s arms. “Let’s go, Devon.”

As soon as we’re in the hall and the door closes, I stop him. “Spill, man. What the fuck did the doctor say before we got in there?”

“He thinks it’s acute catatonia. She’s in there, but for whatever reason there’s been a break in her psyche. Whether she chose it or not, it’s broken and it’s up to us to get her back. He said it’s important to include her like she’s mentally present because more than likely she’s aware of everything going on around her. If we act like she’s not there, she won’t see a reason to come back out of it. She could be lost forever,” he sobs.

I pull him into a hug. “It’s okay, man. I’ve got you. We’ll get her back. We have to get her back. She chose the break, but we’ll drag her back,” I tell him.

“We don’tknowthat she chose this. It could have been caused by her panic attack,” he argues.

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