Page 56 of Choosing Skyler

“Best friend perks. I get away with all kinds of mean shit as long as I’m not mean to her, right Sweets? Tell him,” Devon preens.

“Tracey went to pick up my copy of the new game and she’s grabbing the PlayStation and controllers from the apartment. I’m about to whip both of you at a game, finally. Neither of you have played this one yet.” Devon laughs again.

Never gonna happen. Shut him down, Brady.

“What happened to ‘never say never’?” Devon asks.

Did I say that out loud? Did they hear me?

“It’s different when it’s a fact. You’re going down, man. Then, I’m taking my girl on a victory lap,” Brady brags.

He must have said the same thing as me again. Or am I hearing him and thinking it’s me? Is this real at all or am I just so lost that I’m making up stories to feel better? I don’t think I want to be here anymore. I want to go home. Where’s home???

“Right here, Beautiful. You want a practice lap for that victory, later?” Brady asks me, touching my cheek.

I jerk my head at the electric feeling of his touch.That was definitely real. Brady…

Brady

Devon and I have gotten inventive the past couple of days with stories and scenarios to try to get through to Skyler. We text each other about her and try to include her in all out loud conversations. Nothing has pulled a slightest twitch from her—until today during a very real, if slightly heated, conversation. Her expression didn’t change, but the light in her eyes flashed.

When I touch her cheek to try and comfort her, she jerks her head away from me. While most would be hurt by the rejection, I don’t see it that way. She’shere—within reach for the first time in three days. I jerk my own head up to look at Devon, seeing his eyes widen.

“It’s okay, Beautiful. You want the full experience when we slay him on the track. I can appreciate that,” I tell her, but she’s gone again.

I can’t stand it. I walk out just as Tracey is coming to the room with a duffel bag full of gaming equipment. She takes one look at my face and stops.

“What happened?” she asks worriedly.

“She was here. Sort of. Then she wasn’t—and I just need a minute,” I tell her.

“Oh, Brady. That’s the first sign in days. That’s good news. Take the win, even if it’s a small one,” she tells me before pushing the door open to go into Skyler’s room.

Devon comes out a minute later and I hear Tracey greeting Skyler excitedly.

“Hey, man. It’s a move in the right direction,” he says when the door closes.

“I know. I know. You’re right. I just…missher,” I tell him, leaning toward him, wanting a hug.

He wraps his arms around me. “Me too, man. Me too. I think we’re all lost without her. But did you notice the difference today versus the past two?”

I straighten and shake my head, confused since we were including her in the conversation like always.

“It wasreal. No fake emotions and over exaggerated excitement. We’ve been putting on a damn show. Why would she come back for that when she can just watch it? She didn’t even come out for a real “happy” conversation. It was me being pissed off and you giving me shit. That’s as real as it gets. So, let’s be real. If we’re sad, be sad. If we’re pissed off, be pissed off. That’s what she responded to,” he explains.

I nod. “You’re right, again. Don’t you dare tell Skyler I said that either. Still no talkingabouther out loud though. We’ll keep that to text messages like we have been. But everything else, real talk. Got it,” I agree.

“Exactly, now let me drag Tracey somewhere to tell her before she bores Skyler back into the abyss with fake excitement,” he says, rolling his eyes.

After her conversation with Devon, Tracey admitted to us in our group text thread that she felt shitty for not realizing that “real, honest emotions” could be the key to getting through to Skyler. She wants to be a psychologist. So, she feels like that should have been obvious to her. Both Devon and I assured her that there’s no way anyone could know that. Even Dr. Henley didn’t mention it. Neither did the psychiatrist he so highly recommended and she’s been here twice a day. Now that wedoknow, we move forward and keep trying to reach her.

So, here we are, all three of us, battling it out for the Race Time Championship winner’s title. For a non-gamer, Tracey is surprisingly good. We’re havingfunfor the first time in a week. The fourth controller sits ignored in Skyler’s lap.

We’ve all caught glimpses of her surfacing all day. She still hasn’t moved or tried to communicate at all, but we see her eyes focus and clear like she’s present. We keep her in the conversation, trying to guess what her responses or answers would be. Hopefully, if we keep it up, she’ll find her way back to us for real.

Tracey and I both zoom past Skyler’s parked car at the start/finish line with Devon between us. Which means he gets stuck behind her immobile car until we’re past it, gaining us half a lap before he can try to catch up with us. Tracey and I both let out a laughing “whoop” as we race around the track.

“Oh, comeon!” Devon whines. “You’re not supposed to block forthem, Sky! What the hell?”

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