Page 17 of Choosing Skyler

“Say it again,” I say, my own voice strained.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you…” she says, but I cut her off.

“Before that,” I choke out.

“Oh, um. I need you to stay with me, choose me.?” she says questioningly.

I nod excitedly and tell her, “I’ll stay, I promise. Ichoose you!Ineedyou, too,” I say with conviction before dragging her face to mine to kiss her.

She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me like she’ll die without it. Truth be told, I might too.

Chapter 8

Skyler

I didn’t know how to say what I needed when Brady asked me. Then, when I heard the tell-tale breaths coming too fast, my eyes flew open to see the panic gripping him. He’s been such a rock. I couldn’t imagine him in a panic attack like the ones I experience, even after he told me he has them.I need him. I didn’t realize it until that second when he was spinning away from me. In that second, it was clear as day. I need him to stay, to choose me, because I needhim.

When he tells me that he needs me too, I’m pretty sure I fall all the way in love with him. I know it’s too early to say love, but I don’t know what else to call it. I just know I’ve never feltthisbefore. When he kisses me, I dive in without any thought or doubt.

I don’t know how long we stay holding onto each other and kissing like our lives depend on it, but when he sits back and lays his head on the back of the couch to catch his breath, I realize I’m exhausted. He must be too. I’m usually asleep in seconds after calming down from a panic attack and he hasn’t even had a chance to really calm down.

I stay in his lap, but slump against his chest and lay my head on his shoulder. I reach for the afghan that’s usually on the back of the couch before remembering it’s still in my room where I left it earlier this evening. He glances over to where I’m reaching before lifting his head back up.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“No, not really. I just feel… uncovered.” I shrug.

He reaches behind me and gently pulls the hair tie from my hair, letting my hair fall around me. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I purr in contentment. I could stay just like this all night, but this can’t be comfortable for him.

“Thank you,” I say, sitting up. “You must be exhausted. I know I am.” I yawn.

“Yeah, I’m pretty beat. I’ll just stretch out here tonight. I don’t want to wake Devon up,” he says through a yawn of his own.

“No way. You’re not sleeping on the couch after a panic attack. You can sleep in my bed,” I say without thinking.

He sits up and looks at me sternly. “For one, you slept on the couch after a panic attack just this afternoon. For two, I am NOT taking your bed and letting you sleep on the couch,again. I’ll be fine here,” he says, leaning up to nip at my bottom lip.

I kiss him softly, then lean back to look him in the eye. “I, um, don’t have to sleep on the couch just because you’re in my bed. Unless you don’t want to sleep with me?” I start and then freeze. “I mean, like,sleep,sleep. Not…” I trail off, thoroughly embarrassed now.Just shut up, Skyler.Stupid, exhausted brain.

He chuckles. “As much as I would love tosleepin your bed with you, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to control my wandering hands. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Today has already been a lot,” he says, looking up at the clock. “Yesterday, I guess. It’s after two. What time do you have to be at work? Please, tell me it’s not five am,” he says worriedly.

I smile sweetly at his worried expression. “I’m off today. I usually am after one of my ten hour shifts each week. Chelsea’s a great boss. She’s also my friend Tracey’s mom. So, we’re kind of like family.”

He looks relieved. “Okay, good. What about Devon?”

“He’ll work from ten to seven with an hour lunch break at two. I’ll have you all to myself.” I grin, leaning in to kiss him and scratching the back of his head. When he groans, I smile against his lips.

“You’re gonna kill me, Beautiful. To bed with you,” he says, jumping up with me still in his lap.

I wrap my arms and legs around him like a damn spider monkey to stop myself from falling. He walks straight to my room with me wrapped around him. It amazes me that he lifts me and carries me like I’m tiny when I’m most definitely not. He tries to set me on my feet, but I tighten my grip on him, not letting go. His hands go to my waist and squeeze.

“You gonna let go?” he asks with a chuckle.

When I just grin and shake my head, his hands move up to my ribs and he digs his fingertips in, tickling me.

I squeal. “Okay, okay.” I let go, but he doesn’t stop. I laugh out, “I give. Uncle. Mercy. Please, stop.”

I squirm and wiggle, trying to get free and even though my feet are on the ground they are no use in keeping me standing with him tickling me. He finally stops tickling me but doesn’t let me go until I’m steady on my feet. He laughs with me before reaching up and tucking my hair behind my ears.

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