Page 19 of The Ruins of the Heartless Fae

“But—”

“Nollar, I’m going to do this.”

“It’s not worth it!”

Kolfinna stole a glance at the siblings; they were a dozen feet away from her, and Nollar clenched his fists tightly while Eyfura squared off in front of him.

“Is this … is this so you can pay off my school tuition?” Nollar’s voice shook. “I’ll drop out if you go on this mission, Eyfura. I swear.”

Kolfinna couldn’t see Eyfura’s expression, but she could hear the tremor of anger in her voice as she said, “You won’t do such a thing. You know exactly how important school is. It wasn’t easy to get you to where you’re at, and I won’t let you just up and quit. Everyone has put all their hopes on you. You know that.”

“I know.” He shook his head, and the moonlight bounced off his golden hair. “But it’s not worth you dying for.”

“I won’t die.” She placed her hands on Nollar’s shoulders. “This is important to me, Nollar. Please, you have to understand.”

“I don’t want to understand.” He shook her hands off. “This is suicide.”

“Come on, don’t be like that! I’ll make it back, I promise.”

“If you—”

“Nollar.” Her tone sharpened. “I appreciate your words and how worried you are about me, but you can’t force me to change my mind. It’s not right to threaten me to get what you want. I understand you’re worried, I really do, but you have to respect my decision.”

Nollar was silent for a long while, seeming to mull over what she was saying. Kolfinna felt like she was intruding on something she shouldn’t have seen or heard, but she couldn’t move even if she wanted to. She was somehow reminded of Katla.

“We’ll be fine here,” Katla had said to her when they started working in Lord Estur’s mansion. Her smile had lit up the room and there had been a positive, hopeful twinkle in her voice. “No one will know a thing, and the pay is great! We can’t keep living like beggars, Kolfinna. We’ve got to aim higher than cleaning tiny homes. This is just our first step. Trust me.”

Kolfinna’s throat closed up as she remembered her older sister. Her enthusiasm. Her hopefulness. She was the only person who had understood Kolfinna. The only one who made her feel at home.

“Fine,” Nollar said, the words coming out warbled. He sniffed and blew out deeply. “Fine. Just make it back, okay? I’ll be waiting.”

“Thank you.” Eyfura reached forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. The moonlight illuminated his watery eyes and he quickly blinked, returning the hug. “I will.”

“You better stick to that black rank.”

“I’ll try … but I’m strong too, you know?” Eyfura laughed and pulled away to look at him with bright eyes, and an even brighter smile. “This is just the first step, Nollar! Things can only go up from here. And besides, things are going to be different this time around! We’ll have a real fae there! Kolfinna will be able to understand the castle and figure things out. And coupled with Blár Vilulf, we’ll be unstoppable. We’ll be successful this time around. I just know it!”

Kolfinna sank deeper against the tree and listened to their receding footsteps, their voices fading as they joked with one another. She blinked back the tears pricking the corner of her eyes and pressed the heel of her hands against her eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had pinned their hopes on her. But more than that, she missed having someone by her side. Someone who understood her. Someone who loved her.

She would never receive that here. They would never accept her.

But that didn’t mean that Eyfura didn’t have that with Nollar; or that the other Royal Guards didn’t have that with other people in their lives.

She rose to her feet and headed back to the building she had come from. That inkling of hope Katla had nestled in her rekindled. Maybe it was time to stop running. Maybe it was time to take her first step.

* * *

The afternoon’sbreath was hot, humid, and sticky in the dusty attic of the Royal Guard headquarters. Kolfinna wanted to stick her head out the window and breathe, but she doubted that would help with the heat. Even with the windows open, the attic was unbearably hot. Her dress stuck to her sweaty body like a glove. She rarely ever liked the cold since last year—since Blár—but she wished for a soft breeze at least.

Eyfura, who was guarding her for the day, was down to her knees in a pile of old, threadbare clothes. The makeshift storage room seemed to serve as an area to dump pretty muchanything; it was apparently less used than the other storage rooms, which were more organized, according to Eyfura. A thick coating of dust covered all the boxes and piles of junk all around the room, indicating that nobody really used these things.

Kolfinna found it hard to meet Eyfura’s gaze without remembering the events of last night and how she wasn’t supposed to witness her moment with Nollar. Eyfura didn’t mention that her brother was nervous about her leaving for the mission, or that this was an important mission for her, or that she had high hopes for Kolfinna.

Magni guarded the door and watched her with half-lidded emerald eyes, as if expecting her to leap into action and escape, or attack them—or whatever evil he thought she would do. His brown hair was slicked back neatly, a single curl hanging over his forehead. His white and silver uniform contrasted beautifully against his tanned skin, and for a moment, Kolfinna marveled at how handsome he could’ve been if he wasn’t always scowling or huffing in anger. When he caught her staring, his eyes narrowed further.

Kolfinna looked away and dragged a finger over one of the chests. “I’m guessing people don’t usually come here.” She inspected the gray dust between her fingers.

“Gosh.” Eyfura laughed in embarrassment as she pushed a dusty box away from her and inspected another one. Her cheeks were rosy in the heat. “You must think we’re filthy slobs, but we’re not usuallythisbad. I swear.”

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