Page 112 of The Daughter of the Scarred Elf

“You’re always making that angry face.” He grinned, like he found it amusing, and perhaps he did. But Kolfinna only felt slightly mortified. Did she really make a face like that?

She could feel even more heat creeping up her cheeks. No one had told her that before, so surely it couldn’t be true?

“You’ve been stressed out more than usual, haven’t you?” Blár’s smile faded and he turned to look up at the starless sky. His inky hair blended in with it, and she had the urge to run her fingers through his hair at least once tonight.

Kolfinna picked at her nails distractedly. It was true that she was stressed, but that was her whole existence. Before the Eventyrslot ruins, it was all about survival, hiding, escaping. Then during the Royal Guards, when she finally thought she could relax, it was the same spiel about survival, except she also had to please everyone to keep her position. And now? Now it was worse than ever. She was a slave to Sijur’s will, she was potentially a target for the military if they found out about her abilities, and she was what Ragnarök was looking for. To say she was stressed was an understatement.

Kolfinna sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs loosely. “You asked me earlier why my hair turned white, right? Well, I’m sure it’s because of stress.”

It was a stupid joke, definitely not funny enough to laugh about other than a chuckle, but Blár laughed nonetheless. He leaned forward, his voice quiet. “Ah, is that how it works?”

“I’m sure it is.” She tucked her chin on her knees. “I think so long as I’m in the military, I’ll remain stressed and anxious.”

Blár stared at her wrist and a dark look passed over his expression. “I told you involving yourself with the military was bad news.”

She hugged her knees to her chest and wanted to lean against him but resisted the urge. From the corner of her vision, she could tell Joran was watching them intently from where he was seated. “I didn’t have a choice.”

Blár cursed softly and stared off at the sky, a conflicted expression passing over him. The chill that passed between them could’ve been from him, but she wasn’t sure. Not until he spoke. “It’s partially my fault,” he whispered, the coldness spreading further. “I should’ve … done more.”

“This isn’t your fault, Blár.”

“I could’ve gotten you out of this mess.” He stared at her levelly and she wanted nothing more than to touch the sides of his face and reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. That her being a fae meant that she would always face trouble like this. “Do you remember how I abruptly left before your trial?”

“How could I forget?” She snorted and stared down at her feet. The betrayal she had felt still stung, but she didn’t want to linger on that feeling.

“Sijur made a bargain with me.” Blár’s soft mouth curled into a scowl and another wave of winter emitted from him. “If I rejoined his unit for a few months and I did a mission for him up north, he’d let you off the hook from the Royal Guards and the whole trial. He sent me off before your trial on a random mission. Now I realize why. He tricked me.” His hands curled into fists, and ice cracked with the motion as little flecks ofbroken ice fell to the ground. He unflexed his hands and shook off the remnants of his power. “You were supposed to be free from all of this.”

She recalled the expression on his face when he had seen her at the fort.What are you doing here?

“You … made a deal with Sijur?” Her mind tried to wrap around that, but she failed. Blár had wanted to help her, and yet Sijur had done what he was great at doing—manipulating people into doing what he wanted. Her fury surged. “He tricked you so that?—”

So that both she and Blár would join him.

Sijur’s ultimate plan was to have Kolfinna, she realized. If Blár had remained in the capital, maybe he would’ve figured out a way to save her. Maybe someone else would’ve helped her. But he needed Blár out of the picture, and he needed him to think he had done his job in saving Kolfinna. All so Sijur could make her desperate enough to bargain with him—fifteen years as his slave.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her words were almost lost as a blustering wind blew over them.

“Because—” He raked a hand through his hair and exhaled loudly, almost exasperatedly. “Because I felt embarrassed that he was able to trick me and you were here too, when you should’ve been in the capital wearing that stupid red-and-white uniform.” He waved at the camp around them—at the soldiers clustered together, at the tents erected in the fields. “You definitely weren’t supposed to be here, with all these people, shoveling your way through monster shit and Sijur’s bullshit.”

She shivered, but she wasn’t sure it was from the cold. “And if Sijur hadn’t offered you the deal, what would you have done?” Sijur must’ve realized there was something Blár could do to save her if he was willing to send him away from the capital—and away from her.

Blár pursed his lips together. “I did have a last resort plan.”

She waited for him to continue. He picked at something under his nail and she couldn’t read his expression.

“I …” He sighed and gave her a hesitant smile. “I would’ve married you.”

Out of everything she expected to hear, that wasn’t it. Heat spread over her face instantaneously, and for a moment, everyone else around them seemed to disappear. “What?”

“Being a black rank offers many privileges that other people don’t have. One of them is that our family is protected. If I had married you, the Royal Guards wouldn’t be able to touch you.” He said the words quickly, as if he was embarrassed to be telling her this, and yet something within her felt all too hot hearing those words.

Kolfinna cleared her throat and dragged a finger through the dirt distractedly. Her blazing cheeks felt even hotter against the cool air, and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. A bubble of a laugh almost broke through as she murmured, “That sounds wholly unfair.”

Blár looked up quickly. “What part? Marrying me?”

“No, not that.” She smiled, focused on one lock of his hair, dark beside his eyes. She averted her gaze to poke at the dirt again. “The fact that black ranks get a pass like that—it’s unfair.”

“It’s useful.”

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