Page 74 of The Daughter of the Scarred Elf

Blár jerked a thumb at her outfit. “Do you want me to get you a new uniform before you leave? It might feel weird walking around like that.”

Kolfinna shook her head and rested a hand against the stiff, bloodied parts. “I’ll be fine. People will think I’m just another fae doing weird fae things, right?”

They were both quiet for a while. Even though Kolfinna said she was going to leave, she didn’t. She just sat there, taking in the coolness of his presence, the warmth of the hearth, and the calmness of the room. So unlike the chaos warring in her heart, the anxiety ripping her mental state at the seams.

“You’re still treating me a bit distantly.”

“Hm?” Kolfinna looked over at him.

Blár had his arm over the backrest of the couch, casually, but his mouth was pursed together. “You’re unhappy with me, I think.”

Unhappy was an understatement. She was mostly confused. She wanted to avoid him, but she also wanted to be around him. She wanted to ignore the feelings she had for him. She wanted to be something more than friends. She didn’t know how to respond to her own emotions.

“You’re wrong,” she lied. It came out softly—weakly.

“No, I’m not. You’re not happy with me still.” He canted his head to the side and watched her carefully. “Did I do something wrong?Again?”

She wanted to keep quiet and forget about the whole thing. She wasn’t in the mood to be vulnerable with him again, especially so soon. But a log in the hearth fell, the fire licking it up loudly, and the movement spurred her forward. She couldn’t stop the words that tumbled out of her, like she had been waiting for this moment to unleash them. “Yes, you keep flirting with me, knowing that this is going nowhere. We’re just friends. We’re only supposed to be friends and when you talk to me like I’m something more than that, it just makes me feel even more unsure of what we are. Also, you never did tell me why you didn’t show up for my trial.”

He had gone very still. “Kol?—”

“And I know I’m not imagining it. Youareflirting with me.” She clenched her fists together, pain jolting up her fresh wounds. “We danced at the ball. We ran across the frozen lake. You made a joke just minutes ago. I know you don’t talk to everyone like that.”

Blár suddenly looked unsure. “Does it make you uncomfortable? I’ll stop?—”

“No, that’s the problem. You tell me that we’re just friends, but then you flirt with me and it makes me feel like … like I’mspecialto you. And when I’m just a friend, itconfusesme.” She placed her hands on her lap and resisted the urge to curl them together again. Her body was suddenly so exhausted, and she wanted to flop down on her bed. “I don’t mind that you do it, but, Blár, I really need to know—what am I to you?”

He seemed to mull over that. Kolfinna took that moment to bolster her own confidence. She spoke quickly, riding off her momentum, “Because, honestly, Ilikeyou. I don’t know how it’ll even work out, but … but—” Her throat closed up as doubts spread through her chest. She had thought she wasn’t the type to ever find someone, and a part of her wasn’t sure if any romance would work in her life. She was a fae, and she was a soldier now.And he was … he wasBlár Vilulf. Black rank. Wickedly beautiful. Immensely powerful.

And what was she?

Nothing special.

Her insecurities reared their ugly heads and the distance between them seemed to stretch further.

Blár was too quiet. When she spared him a glance, she couldn’t read his expression. Ice formed in her chest, tightening a hold on her heart.

She had made a mistake. She shouldn’t have said anything.

Of course he wasn’t interested in her; he was just harmlessly flirting and she had taken it too seriously. She had jumped to conclusions and now they were both uncomfortable.

She cursed her stupidity.

“Um, n-never mind,” Kolfinna said hastily. “I’m not saying that you’re interested in me in that manner. I was just explaining my own feelings. I get that you’re a black rank and you probably have tons of women who flock around you”—Ivar’s words echoed in her mind about how all the ladies were preparing themselves for his arrival, and she flustered further—“so it only makes sense that you would be interested in someone beautiful and interesting and human, so I was only getting these things off my chest?—”

He placed a finger beneath her chin and raised her head so she could look straight at him. Straight into the icy depths. Straight into the dark desire she could see unfurling ever so slowly. “You like me?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

That desire seemed to intensify. “Do I plague your thoughts?”

Heat pooled in her stomach. “Yes.”

“Do you want me?”

“Yes.” She felt ridiculous saying all these obvious things, especially since she had no clue what he wanted. She had already laid her feelings bare. It was only fair that he did the same. She coiled her hands over the edge of the couch. “And you? What do you feel?”

His gaze danced between her own stare and her lips. “I feel many things, Kolfinna.”

---