Page 109 of Empire's Curse

“It’s quite beautiful when it’s daylight.” He glanced over at the shrubs and trees and boulders, all of which appeared like shadowy blobs in the darkness. “Especially in the early morning, you can hear the birds singing to one another and the gurgling of the nearby stream. The trees sway and creak, the leaves rustle, and the animals scurry … it’s beautiful and quiet, and it helps me think.”

Daiyu watched him from the corner of her eye. “It’s probably hard to think in silence at the palace. There’s so much hustle and bustle there.”

“Yes, and there are so many distractions.”

“I like it here too.”

She could have sworn he was smiling from behind his mask. “Yes … I thought you would.”

They were both quiet for a long time after that. The only sound between them was thewhooshof the wind and the wavering of the trees. Daiyu closed her eyes and wanted to disappear into the darkness of the night. To forget about all the pain and humiliation.

“I’ll never be a proper empress,” she finally said, refusing to meet his gaze. “I knew what it meant to be the wife of the emperor when I married him, but I thought I could handle it. I thought I could handle the idea of him being with multiple women. With him having dozens of kids with other women. With him gallivanting around with beautiful women who are so much better than me in every way. But the instant I saw him with Yanlin and when I realized he had chosen her to do the lantern lighting, it’s like … something snapped inside me. I don’t want to be a second, third, or fourth choice. I don’t even want to be the first choice if it means he’ll have a dozen more after me. I want it to just be me and him, and I know that will never happen.” Tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t try to stop them. “I had no idea it would hurt this much.”

She knew what it meant when she married him. She had thought she had grappled with the idea of it and accepted it, but she hadn’t. And she felt more pathetic and miserable because of it.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, Feiyu.” Daiyu was suddenly tired—so very tired. “I want to go home. This is all too much for me.”

“Daiyu …”

“I’m not strong enough to be there.” She rubbed her face with her arm. “I don’t want to face him again. I don’t want to see him with her or with someone else.”

She could feel Feiyu staring at her, but she kept her eyes averted. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment she was sure was there. He probably thought she was so weak-hearted. So easily breakable and foolish. It wasn’t like she had run into this marriage without knowing what it meant, and yet at the first sign of Muyang being interested in someone else, she cracked.

Daiyu breathed out shakily. “I want to go home. Do you think you can do that for me? Take me away from here?”

“Maybe you’re not cut out for the royal life.”

Even though it was something she had come to the conclusion to, hearing him say it out loud sent a painful pang through her heart. She swallowed down the bitterness clawing up her constricted throat.

“Maybe it’s better for you to go back to your farm life,” he said quietly. “Where life is easier.”

She didn’t trust herself to speak. Maybe she was cursed to never love anyone, or be loved by anyone. She should have realized it when Heng died on the battlefield. She wasn’t meant to be with anyone. She was supposed to grow old alone.

“Will you take me back?”

“What will you do about the emperor?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “We’ll just pack up our things and leave.”

“Do you really want to do that?”

She pursed her lips together. There were so many things she wanted, but that didn’t mean they were meant to be. All she knew was that she couldn’t go back to the palace. She didn’t want to see Muyang again. She didn’t want to face Yanlin and the other nobles. She didn’t want to repeat the humiliation she had felt tonight.

“Yes, I want to go home.”

He stretched his hand out to her. “Then let’s go.”

Daiyu didn’t hesitate to rest her fingers into his. His hand curled into hers and all at once, their mountainous surroundings distorted and twisted. In a split second, the chilling winds from the mountains disappeared, replaced by a gentle breeze. Daiyu gasped and blinked; they were suddenly in a field of flowers. She knew where they were immediately. She could have recognized it by the smell alone.

Even in the night, she could make out the tree Heng had carved their names into. She had played in these fields countless times as a child, but it was only now, when she was sitting here with Feiyu that she felt more in tune with her nostalgic childhood haven.

She was finally home.

Daiyu clambered to her feet, spinning around to take in the flower fields before she turned to Feiyu. “How did you know about this place?”

“You showed it to me once. Remember? In your dreams.”

“Oh. Right.” If she were in a better mood, she would have talked to him more, told him stories about how she used to play here with her siblings, or told him about Heng. But she was drained of all emotions. She was nothing more than a numb shell.

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