Page 112 of Empire's Curse

She tried to recall their conversation, but she could only remember her vivid rage and her screams. Nothing else computed in her mind. “We … sort of talked.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I yelled, mostly.”

“And?”

“Andwhat?” Daiyu was beginning to grow frustrated. Didn’t Lanfen understand the magnitude of the situation? Or how horrible Muyang was for choosing Yanlin instead of Daiyu to light the lantern?

Her sister crossed her arms over her chest and lifted a delicate brow. “Please don’t tell me that you didn’t even hear his side of the story? Did you even give him a chance to apologize? Or to … I don’t know, maybe understand the situation a little bit?”

“There’s nothing more to talk about?—”

“Daiyu!Really?”

“Lanfen, stop that!” Daiyu angrily wiped her dirt-stained hands against her skirts and pointed an accusatory finger her way. “I did everything I could in that palace. I would have never made a good empress, and you know it. Nobody wanted me there anyway, and there’s no way I can handle being his wife in the first place. I don’t want him to marry hundreds of women and for me to be forgotten within the folds of them all. I don’t want to be stuck in the Lotus wing with the whole lot of them! You saw what it was like! You know how terrible they are.”

She was being mean and she knew it, but her heart was aching and she didn’t like how Lanfen didn’t seem to understand what she was saying. She wanted to continue to wallow in her self-pity, not think about what she should have said or done.

“Daiyu, I know they’re terrible people. The women at thepalace were mean to me too, and they were mean to all the women who were commoners like us, and I’m really grateful for you helping me get out of there—but that doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t … you didn’t discuss any of this with His Majesty. You just … ran. Like you always do.”

She flinched back like she had been slapped. “A-Are you serious?” Her voice wavered and cracked with mortification. A surge of anger filled her tone. “I married him for you, for all of you! And this … this is how I’m treated when I want to go back home? When things don’t work out in my marriage?”

Lanfen reeled back. “You did this forus?”

“Why else would I marry him?!”

“Daiyu …” Horror leeched onto her sister’s face, soon replaced with a furrowed, angry brow. “Are you kidding me right now? You seriously married him forus? I don’t believe it for one second! You … you couldn’t have.”

“Why else would I marry such a cold, twisted person like him? Hm?” Even as the words tumbled out of her mouth, hot and fiery and quick, she didn’t completely believe them. “I wanted you all to be happy. For you to gain wealth, and status, and a goodlife.”

“You were going tosacrificeyourself for us? Daiyu, do you have any idea what you’re saying? You think that would make any of us happy?”

“Why else did you think I married him?” She gave her sister an incredulous look. “Did you think Iwantedto be with him at first? He’s the emperor! How could I say no? I had no choice and once I realized that it was perfect for everyone, I married him. I just didn’t expect … I just didn’t—” The fight seemed to leave her. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so much when her heart broke. When he had shattered it in a single moment.

“But you seemed sohappy.” Lanfen opened her mouth, then clamped it shut as if rethinking the words. “You … you seemed so inlove.”

Her shoulders shook and scorching, stabbing pain entered her chest. Like her heart was cracking all over again. She hated therealization as it hit her with full force. The reality was that she had somehow fallen in love with the wicked emperor. She had found herself happy at the thought of being with him. She had enjoyed their long nights together. Had relished the feeling of sleeping in his arms. Of kissing him. Of hearing his velvety voice.

And she didn’t want to share him.

She didn’t want him to be with Yanlin, or anyone else.

She wanted to be the only one who was important to him. She wanted to be his only wife. His only lover. His and his alone.

“That’s what makes this all so much harder.” She cried softly, the tears streaming down her crumpled face and falling onto her lap. She ducked her head, hating how broken she sounded. Hating that she was in love with Muyang. “I can’t go back there. Not when he … when he doesn’t even care for me. When I’m just one of the many other women.”

“Then why did you run?”

“What?” She lifted her chin. She couldn’t believe the callousness on her sister’s face, or the hardness of her tone.

“You do this every time,” her sister said, voice low and fierce. “You run at the first sign of trouble. You’ve been trying to protect yourself for so long since Heng’s death that you run away whenever you can. You can’t just … flee whenever things get hard. You have to deal with your problems.”

“What? Lanfen, you don’t understand?—”

“No, I understand.” She reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly. “I understand that it was difficult for you to see him choose another woman to light the lantern, I really do, but you need to talk to him about it. You need to hear his side of the story. You have to argue and fight for your marriage. You can’t just give up! If you truly love him, then you’llfacehim. And if you decide you don’t want to be with him anymore, then youtellhim that. But don’t just run away from it all.”

“But I don’t always—” The words dried up at her throat. It was true, she realized. Whenever she came across a tough situation,instead of dealing with it, she ran away. She was always running. Always looking for a way out.

---