Page 65 of Dynasty of the Wicked

He made way to pull the covers back, but she resisted and held them tighter to her body. “You’re not sleeping here.”

“This is my?—”

“I’m your wife,” she bit out bitterly. “I say that you will not sleep with me.”

“You … What do you wish for? For me to freeze out there?” He waved to the entrance of the tent. “What is wrong with me sharing your bed?”

“Are you serious?” Zhi Ruo breathed out shakily, her fingers clenching the hem of the fur blanket so tightly that she was sure she’d rip off tufts of it. “After what you did, you still want me to be okay with you?”

Feng Mian went still. Uncertainty flashed over his face. Maybe he was used to his mother and father being okay with each other even though one had hired an assassin to murder their child. Maybe he was used to them copulating even though there was growing animosity between them. Maybe he thought it was normal for the wife to abhor her husband’s terrible decisions and disloyalty. And maybe she was no wiser, never having seen any other type of relationship other than toxicity. But she knew she didn’t want him near her while she was this hurt and betrayed.

“Stay away from me.” She hated how small her voice sounded, how close to breaking she was. Tears welled in her eyes.

“Zhi Ruo.” Barely a whisper. There was a softness in his tone that hadn’t been there earlier. The subtle inflection made her chest squeeze.

“You betrayed me. You were always with the man who wanted me and my family dead. You … you knew he was out there trying tokillme.”

He grimaced. “Chanming isn’t trying to kill you. You’re not that …”

“Not that what? Not thatimportant?” she hissed. “Then why are you scared to tell him who I am? You know what he’ll do to me.”

Feng Mian clamped his mouth shut.

“You knew he wanted to kill my father?—”

“And is that so bad?” He shifted his position until he was on his knees, his hands pressed on his kneecaps, and his long, white hair streaming over his shoulders like bright moonlight. His words came out quiet, yet feral. “Is it so fucking bad to kill him? He’s a terrible leader, and an even worse father. You suffered under him for so many years. Why protect him? Why care for him when he has never done the same to you?”

Zhi Ruo couldn’t explain why she still cared for her father, why she didn’t want to see him be murdered by Chanming, and why she was so opposed to her family dying off. She wished things were simpler. “He is my father,” she finally said, struggling to find words to fill in the blanks.A cruel man with a vicious court who would rather see me dead, but my father nonetheless. “He … he is all I have.”

“Seriously?” He shook his head in disbelief. “He left you to die in the Kadian dungeons, Zhi Ruo. While you were being stuffed into cages and abused, he was celebrating an upcoming wedding for your sister. He didn’t even try to send any forces to save you. And you … you stillcarefor him?” He said it likeit disgusted him, and maybe she should have been repulsed too, but she only felt embarrassed.

“I … I don’t have many options, Feng Mian, but I do know that I do not want Chanming on the throne. My life will be over.” She bunched her pale, numbing fingers together. Her shoulder throbbed at the motion. “I’m not like you. I can’t betray my family and help create a new dynasty. If Chanming succeeds, what will happen to me? If he finds out about who I am, then what do you think he will do? I will always be a threat to his legitimacy. Any son borne by me will have a better claim to the throne than Chanming willeverhave, and he knows it.Youknow it.”

His jaw locked in place, the muscles on his face tensing. He must have known the truth. The harsh reality that she didn’t belong in Chanming’s reign. He would likely never stop searching for her and Ying Yue—wherever she was.

“You are content dying in battle for the False Emperor, but what happens when he takes over? What will become of me? Will I be forced to become a pauper? I highly doubt I will have any claim to your lands or fortunes.”

“I will protect you.”

“Protect me how? Hm, Feng Mian? How will you do that?” She tried to keep the shrillness from her voice, as to not alert anyone outside, but it was hard to control herself. She wanted to scream at him. “Do you think he will care about you once he is emperor? Do you think he will care that your wife is hissister? How will you protect me against him? How will you protect me if you’re dead from battle? You said it yourself; you have no reason to live other than to fight.”

Feng Mian’s pretty face twisted with a scowl. Something flashed in his gaze, but she couldn’t read it properly. If her words angered him, he didn’t say it.

“I do not exist in a world where the False Emperor reigns,” she said.

Besides, why did it matter anyway? He cared for her enough to not wish for her immediate demise, seeing as how he hadn’t turned her in to Chanming, but he didn’t love her enough to fight for her. To give up on Chanming and his desire for the throne.

“If you had to choose between us, who would it be?” she whispered before she could change her mind, before the harsh reality could settle in.

Feng Mian’s shoulders grew taut. “Don’t play this game with me.”

“Why not? Is it because … because you choose him?” Her words came out warbled, despite her attempt to keep her tears at bay, to keep it level. “Because you don’t care about me?”

“That’s not true,” he said roughly, raking a hand through his hair. “Zhi Ruo, please. Just … juststop.”

“What’s not true? That you would choose him, or that you don’t care about me?”

“Both,” he gritted out.

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