Page 73 of Dynasty of the Wicked

“It never came easy for me either,” she said between gasps. She took his face in her hands. “We can learn together.”

They kissed again, ravenously. Like two people starved of love. Like two people madly in love, whose futures dangled by a thread.

23

Physician Wu frownedat the cuts on Zhi Ruo’s arm as he applied a bitter-smelling salve onto the gashes. She winced as his wrinkled fingers pressed against the injury. He didn’t say anything as he bound the rest of her arm. Not until she was completely bandaged.

“It should heal fine,” he said, voice clipped.

“Thank you.”

“Hmph.”

She could tell he wasn’t particularly pleased with her, especially not after the way Feng Mian had forced the man to take an oath. The entire time she’d been there in the physician tent—five minutes maximum—he had barely spoken to her, only grunting responses here and there. There were a few soldiers napping on some of the beds, but nothing dire that needed his immediate attention.

“You may go,” he finally said when she hadn’t moved off the bed.

Zhi Ruo hesitated and pulled down her sleeve over the bulky bandages. Her other arm, the numb one, was still causing her issues; her fingers felt stiff most of the time. “Is … is there any medication that can help with …”

“Yes?” He waved his hand when she didn’t continue. “What is it?”

“Err.” A blush began to spread over her face and she glanced over at the others in the long tent. Three soldiers were scattered inside. One on the furthest cot, and two others a few cots away from her. She twiddled her fingers together.

Physician Wu sighed, long and hard, and stroked his long, wiry white beard. An impatient tic, she realized. “Well, Lady Zhi? What is it? I have work to do.”

“Something to prevent …” She didn’t know why she was having such a hard time vocalizing what she wanted, but her embarrassment got the better of her. Probably because, even though her and Feng Mian were married, it was strange to admit to others that they were …activewith each other.

“Pregnancy?” He lifted a bushy eyebrow.

She nodded mutely, her face feeling hot.

“Do you think you are with child?” He stared at her stomach, as if it would swell at any minute.

“No,” she said. “But I would like to prevent it.”

“Why?”

She blinked up at him, unprepared for such a blunt response. “Well, I … I am afraid.”

“Of what your father will think?” he asked sharply.

Zhi Ruo flinched, her gaze skating over to the others in the room, but they weren’t paying attention. And even if they were, it wasn’t like they knew her father was the emperor.

“You are a married woman,” he continued in stride, grabbing the jars of salve, the mortar and pestle he had used to grind some herbs, and the loose bindings he hadn’t used. “It will do you some good to have a child. Especially considering Lord Zheng doesn’t seem to have long to live, with the way he fights in battle. Perhaps it would be good to give him a child before he …” Hewaved the jar with a shrug as he turned around and put his tools away. “You know. His eventual demise.”

She followed behind him, her brows knitted together as fear seized her. “What do you mean? Do you think he will die?”

“Eventually.” Physician Wu shrugged, placing his items onto the long table on the far side of the tent. “You do not know this, Lady Zhi, but your husband is a beast out there. He has no awareness besides killing his enemies. There are many times in battle when he has multiple almost lethal wounds on his body, and yet it only spurs him forward. That curse of his … it truly is terrifying. He does not feel pain whilst feeling the rush of his curse. At least that is what I believe.”

It was something she had feared, that Feng Mian had no regard for his own life so he fought brazenly. A shiver ran down her spine. “I still do not wish to be with child so soon.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t want a child with Feng Mian—eventually, she would have loved to have a family with him, one that they could love and nurture, unlike the cruel families they had been given—but the timing wasn’t right.

If her father heard of her marriage, she was sure he’d be upset, furious, even, since she didn’t marry the man he had picked out for her. If she was with child … she could only imagine what horrors her father would do. She could imagine him taking the child and using him, or her, as a means to torture and control Zhi Ruo. She couldn’t be with child until she was completely safe—from her father, Chanming, and everyone who would try to harm her.

Physician Wu nodded slowly. “Well, it is certainly better for Lord Li that you aren’t pregnant,” he muttered, low enough so only she heard. He sifted through his vials and held one out for her. It was murky and dark. “This will help prevent you from becoming pregnant. But, if you are currently with child, this will effectively kill the baby.”

“I have …” She licked her lips. “We have only beenactivefor about two days. Does that … does that mean I can become with child that soon?”

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