Page 94 of Possess

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Allyson sat up straight. “Zeke, you didn’t fail.” How could he think that? “I’m the one who messed up. Big time.”

Zeke stared at her with those knowing eyes of his. She had to make this right, even if they had nothing beyond a professional relationship after this. A dagger pierced her heart at the thought, but she had to do this. She’d thought long and hard over the past couple days and nights.

She’d barely slept, but today she made the decision to tell Zeke everything. If he still wanted her, then they’d figure it out. If not, so be it. She’d turn his jobs over to another inspector once they had someone up to speed.

But she couldn’t give up the Wicked Sanctuary job. Max had already insisted that no matter what happened between her and Zeke, she was staying on that job. Allyson had almost laughed at the Dom tone in Max’s voice, but she couldn’t. Not yet.

“I failed you.” Allyson twisted her hands together in her lap.

“What scared you so much you ran to a play party? I want to understand.”

“I know you do.” Allyson sat for a moment. When she’d practiced this in her head, it seemed so simple, but now her emotions were all over the place. Her love for this man in front of her. Her pain that she’d hurt him. “I told you a little bit about my parents.”

“You said they weren’t faithful to each other.”

“It was more than that.” She took a deep breath. “Zeke, my parents were swingers.”

He blinked at her, then his eyes widened.

“I don’t share that with a lot of people.”

He nodded. “But why did that make you run? Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”

“You’ve always been part of a loving family, as Dani has.” Allyson inhaled and met his gaze head on. “I never had that in my life. From the time I was little, there were parties. I was left a lot of times to fend for myself. I learned to eat dry cereal because I couldn’t lift the milk out of the fridge.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. My parents cared more about partying than they did about me.” Her belly tumbled with her words. “I was lucky they got me into school, but I was the one who got myself up every morning, got dressed, got to school.”

“Didn’t you tell anyone?”

She shook her head. “I was too young to understand, but as I got older, I was ashamed of my parents’ actions. There were rumors, and sometimes kids were nasty to me, but once I left home, and my parents moved away, I thought all my fears went away.”

“You grew up here in Pleasant Valley?”

“Yes. We lived by the wetlands, in a rundown house near the trailer park.” She laughed. “I might not be trailer trash, but I’m close.”

“Like hell you are.” His brown eyes turned fierce. “You are a woman of worth, and don’t let anyone tell you you’re not.”

“Too late. I’ve struggled with that my entire life, never feeling worthy of love.”

He opened his mouth, but she forestalled him with a hand in the air.

“Until Dani and her grandparents, I’d never even known affection. I felt invisible. I can’t tell you how many times I yearned for someone, anyone to show they noticed me. I think that’s why I started going to those parties. To be noticed.”

Zeke’s hands clutched the sides of his chair as if he wanted to jump up. But he kept quiet.

“By the time I met you, I’d pretty much decided going solo would be my life. Especially since, not only was I not loved, but if anyone ever found out about my parents…”

“No one worth anything is going to hold your parents’ choices against you,” he ground out.

Allyson laughed, and even she heard the bitterness in it. “Come on, Zeke. People who don’t understand the lifestyle wouldn’t get what my parents did. You come from a loving family, a family that obviously cares about you. I have no family.”

“But you do have family.” Zeke leaned forward. “You have Dani, me, everyone at Wicked Sanctuary. Allyson, you have a family of the heart.”

“It’s taken me a long time to realize that.” Her breath hiccupped. “I hate my parents because they neglected me. I couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t love me.” Her breathing was choppy. “Is it too late? For us?”

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