Page 96 of Possess

“Of course you did. You had no real examples in your life, except maybe Dani’s grandparents.”

“True. But, honestly, it started to feel wrong a few years ago. So I stopped going pretty much. The last one I went to before this last weekend was with Dani right after she came home from San Francisco last year. She made me promise not to go anymore”

“Then I started to pursue you?”

“Kind of. I had stopped going when you asked me out the first time.”

“You said you’d been in a relationship, but that was the first time I asked you out. What about the second time?”

“I wasn’t in the right head space. I guess I never was.” She shifted. “But after that day in the bookstore, we connected.”

“I thought we did.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you like I did, Zeke. I panicked and fell back onto something I thought to be true. But it wasn’t. I was lying to myself. It was a crutch I used to avoid relationships. I see that now.”

“What does that mean for us?”

Allyson closed her eyes and opened them. “I hope you’ll give me another chance.” Zeke released her hands, and her heart clenched. “I never thanked you for holding me Sunday night after I had my nightmare.”

“Sweetheart.” He stood up and started pacing. “I don’t know what to say right now.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m the one who screwed us up. Our relationship was good until I stopped trusting you. I’m so sorry, Zeke. Maybe I should go?” Allyson wasn’t sure how much longer she could sit here without breaking down. She stood.

“No.” Zeke turned to her. “Please, Allyson, sit back down and let me gather my thoughts.”

Allyson retook her seat and waited while Zeke paced around the room. This was what she’d done to him, and she owed him his chance to have a say, good or bad. Her heart stuttered. Lord, she loved this man.

Her breath caught in her throat. She did love him. The relationship she’d been running from was right there in front of her. Zeke had shown her in a thousand ways how special she was, and maybe it was time she believed him.

“First things first,” Zeke started as he turned to face her. The pain etched in his features froze her in her seat. “I think I understand why you panicked. My family can be overwhelming.” He glanced out the back patio doors, then back to her. “I can’t go through what happened on Sunday ever again.”

“I understand.” This time when she stood, he kept silent. “I’m sorry I screwed us up.” Allyson moved toward the front door.

A warm hand captured her arm. She looked up to see Zeke staring down at her with determination and something else shining in his eyes. “I need assurances from you that you won’t take off half-cocked when you panic.” He pulled her to him. “I will always be there when you need me. All you have to do is tell me what the issue is. Just trust me.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I do, Zeke. I lost sight of that for a moment, but I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.”

“Good. You need to remember that. Always. And always use your safe word if you’re uncomfortable, but tell me why. I deserve that much.”

She nodded. “And so much more.”

Zeke drew in a deep breath. Here it comes, she thought. The gentle “I can’t do this anymore” that would seal her fate. She had to be strong, to let him say the words. It would help him to heal, something that might never happen for her. But she owed him this, so she kept her gaze on him, shoring up her own strength with the kindness in his eyes. She would hold it together until later. She had to, for Zeke.

“Listen, I don’t want to panic or scare you further, but I have to say this. I love you.”

She froze in his embrace. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. “Oh Zeke.” She hadn’t expected this. “I love you too. I’m sorry I ran; I won’t do it again.” Tears trailed down her cheeks.

“Sweetheart.” He pulled her close. “Don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t deserve you.”

“You do. You deserve someone who loves you and is willing to put the work in to prove he’s trustworthy.” He cradled her against his warm chest.

“I might need to hear that every day of my life.”

“I’ll make sure I say that along with I love you. Loving you is easy; having a relationship is hard, but we’ll get through this together.”

More tears fell. “Together.”

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