Page 24 of Hades

“I could have.” Harley muttered, feeling the weight of her words pressing down on her. She could have helped. She could have done more. Sheshouldhave done more.

Cati shook her head. “You don’t think I tried?” Tears rolled down Cati’s face as Harley stared at her.

Harley’s head pounded from all the crying as she shook her head. “I’m not saying that. I?—”

“No, Harley. Stop. I need you to stop and listen to me. I tried, honey. Do you remember that time I was badly beaten and out of school for three weeks, and you had to tell everyone I was sick?” After Harley nodded, Cati continued. “I know you thought Knox did that, and I let you think it because I didn’t want you to realize we were living with two monsters. I never even wanted you to know just how evil Knox was. You only found out because you walked in on us that one time.”

Cati choked on her words as Harley closed her eyes and tried to shake the image out of her head. She had been young, but the image was burned into her head. Cati’s body was so small, and their father’s body was so big… Even then, it looked so wrong.

“Cati…”

“Let me finish. The older I got, the worse the abuse got, and I finally said something to Dakota,” Cati admitted, speaking of their mother. She had started calling them by their first name when she was really young, a way to dissociate from them. “She was the one that beat me, Harley. Not Knox. She beat me so badly for speaking such foul words, as she said.

“It was then I realized there was no way out of the hell I was living in. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t leave you because I knew he would only go after you if I was gone. It took me a few months, but after I lost all hope in Dakota, I finally told oneof my teachers from school. Everything happened quickly after that, and we were separated.

“The day Knox died in prison from AIDS, I wanted you. I needed you. I wanted to cry and to celebrate and to hurt with the one person who would feel some of my pain, but you weren’t there. When Dakota died a few years later, I only went to her funeral because I thought you might be there. I tried to find you, Lady Bug, but it was like you didn’t want to be found. Why? Are you mad at me?”

Harley shook her head wildly as she lifted slightly and sat in a chair next to Cati, reaching out for her hands. She gripped them tightly as she tried to gather her words. She knew she needed to be brave in this moment, but she didn’t know how. She never knew how to be brave when it came to her sister, and that bothered her. She wanted to change that, and coming to see her was the first step. She knew if she was going to do something, she couldn’t half-ass it.

After taking a deep breath, Harley tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke. “No, Cati. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. I’m ashamed of myself.” Cati opened her mouth to interrupt, but Harley squeezed her hands. “Let me get this out. I never wanted to make your abuse about me. It’s not about me at all, but the guilt I feel surrounding it is suffocating.

“You spent your childhood in pain and still protecting me, while I stood by and did nothing. You told a teacher after years and years of abuse when I should have told them as soon as I found out.”

“Harley, you were a baby. You barely understood what was happening?—”

“But I knew my sister was in pain, and I did nothing about it. I didn’t protect you, Cati. I should have gone to Dad and offered myself?—”

“Listen to me,” Cati said with so much conviction, Harley’s mouth snapped shut. “In no world or lifetime would I haveeverallowed you to do that. Do you understand me? None of it was your fault, and it was not your burden to bear. It was mine.

“You are not a failure for not protecting me. Our parents were. That’s it. If your guilt is what kept you away from me all that time, then I need you to get over it.” Harley’s brows pulled in as she tried to reject the idea of simply letting go of her guilt, but before she could speak, Cati continued. “I’m serious, Harley. You need to get the fuck over it. You are entirely too important to me to let misplaced guilt be the reason you aren’t in my life.

“I don’t care how selfish this is. If you love me, Harley, then you will let that shit go and stay. Stay because I need you. And I know you need me. I can see it all in your eyes that you haven’t allowed life to be good to you. If I can let go of what our parents did to me, then you can let go of some shit that isn’t even yours to possess.”

Tears clouded Harley’s vision as she blinked rapidly. “I don’t know how,” she finally admitted. “Letting that go feels like I’m accepting what happened to you, and I can’t accept that.”

Cati stood and tugged Harley up with her. They stood at the same height and bore the same smooth chocolate-colored skin and thick, jet-black hair. They both wore their hair straight, but Harley’s was much longer than her sister’s. She liked Cati’s sleek cut though. It really suited her and gave her an edge. Harley noticed that Cati had an air of confidence surrounding her, and she couldn’t understandhow. How was it that her sister was able to walk through life as though her childhood wasn’t hell?

Cati pulled Harley into her and stroked her hair like she used to do when they were young. “It’s already done, Harley. You have to learn to accept it. It’s a part of me. It’s a vile, shitty, disgusting part of me, but it’s still a part of me. You can’t accept me as aperson if you can’t accept my past, and I need you to accept me. I need my sister.”

Harley nuzzled into Cati’s neck and sobbed. The older Cruz sister always had a way of explaining things to Harley that made the most sense to her. Harley idolized Cati when they were young. She was always so strong, confident, and brave—all things she wanted to be but qualities she never possessed. It seemed Cati hadn’t changed much, and that made Harley happy. She was glad life’s harsh realities hadn’t messed her sister up.

She loved Cati so much, though her selfish ways may not have always shown that. She didn’t go to her mother’s funeral mostly because she didn’t want to see her mother, but she also thought Cati might be there, and she didn’t want to face her. She had loved her fiercely from afar, but hearing Cati tell her that she needed her little sister sparked something in her. She never felt needed before, and Cati may not have realized it, but anything she wanted from this point forward, Harley would give her.

Guilt was a motherfucker, and just because she was about to promise to let the guilt go, all it was really going to do was shift into something new. Eventually, she would have to tackle that, but for now, she was dead set on giving her sister what she wanted. So when she pulled away from the embrace, she whispered, “I accept you.”

Cati’s smile broke Harley’s heart while healing her all at the same time. If she had known Cati had wanted a relationship with her so badly, she may have done this a lot sooner. She just assumed Cati hated her for not standing up for her, and Harley wouldn’t blame her. But that wasn’t the case, and Harley knew she had a lot to unpack when she had some alone time.

“Can you come to my place so we can catch up? I’m not ready to let you go yet, and I don’t really feel like the underworld is the place to have a proper reunion.” Cati spoke fast, like she couldn’t get her words out quick enough.

Harley offered her a shy smile for the first time, but before she could respond, Hades stepped up and placed a hand on Harley’s waist. “She ain’t going nowhere but home. Y’all can kick it here for a bit longer, but she’s already been out most of the day.”

Harley’s mouth dropped open in shock at the fact that Hades just denied her sister, while Cati looked between the two with worry flooding her expression.

Cati spoke up first before anyone else could. “It’s okay. Can I just have a moment with my sister?”

Hades frowned, and Harley elbowed him hard in his ribs. She normally wouldn’t be that bold, but she was currently pissed. She had just reunited with her sister, and she wanted nothing more than to spend the night—hell, several days—with her, but she knew there was no arguing with Hades. That didn’t mean she couldn’t be pissed at him.

Harley grabbed Cati’s hand and pulled her over to the bar so they could get a bit of privacy. As soon as they were out of earshot of the men, Cati lowered her voice and asked, “Are you and Hades a thing?”

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