My phone vibrates next to me, causing me to set my diary aside.
“What?”
“Boss, you have to help me!” Tony whines on the phone. “I’m absolutely drowning and getting beat down by phone calls from disgruntled women for you!”
“Oh? Did they see I shut my roster off?”
“Yes! How could you lie like that? You told me you’d finish your roster, but you shut it down without notice an?—”
“What can I say? My dick wouldn’t get hard no matter how hard I tried,” I sigh, thinking about this morning after I left my wife’s house and went to meet my client, who has a fetish for being fucked by chicks with dicks.
“You… wait, huh?” he snorts in disbelief, and I glance up at the trees, feeling empty because Jessica is not next to me.
“Yup. My last client this morning. I had to finish her off with my fingers and paddles to the ass. I couldn’t fuck her. My dick just won’t get hard for anyone but her,” I finish.This time wasdifferent because she kind of looked a bit like my baby, so I was at least able to get it up.
“Wait! So you’re telling methefucking Frankie had erectile dysfunction?”
“No, I’m telling you I haveJessicadysfunction,” I correct him.
“Really? So it’s this fucking Jessica person again? Who the fu?—”
“Tony?” I interrupt, saving his life.
“Yeah…”
“Don’t fuck with me about mine.”
“I’m sorry, Boss…”
“Tell that to her face when you meet her,” I growl.
“Yes sir.”
“Anyway, what do you want again? I’m busy. I was just starting to read a book about my wife.” I cock my head in annoyance, running my thumb over my baby’s name.
“Sir, I was just telling you that the calls have gotten out of hand. Please do something.”
“What can I do? I’m retired,” I answer, smiling when a minute passes because I’m a minute closer to seeing her.
“I did, and that only made them cry harder! Please just fuck some of them a?—”
“No.”
“But Boss… you can use the money to take your wi?—”
“I don’t give a fuck about the money. What I care about is having time for my baby. In fact, I’m going to start going to church! I want to be cleansed, and I’m claiming myself as a born-again virgin for Jessica.”
“A born again… wait, you can do that?” he asks, stupefied, and I nod.
“Yup, I looked it up. It said I can abstain from sexual activity after having previously engaged in it with the intention of marriage… starting tonight, I’ll be abstaining from sex, and I’m a virgin again,” I profess, but he says nothing.
“B-but Boss… with the amount of pussy you’ve dug in, I don’t think that’s possible,” he voices indecorously.
“I won’t fucking repeat myself!” I growl.
“Yes, sir. My apologies, sir.”
“Whatever. If you have nothing else to say, I’m hanging up.” I give him the courtesy because he’s been my assistant at the club for a while.