Page 14 of Unwanted

Still, there was this strange feeling of sensing him. I had the bizarre impression that Finn was somewhat displeased,some subtle energy coming from him suggested that he was disappointed that I didn't hug him. But maybe I was reading too much into it. How could I possibly know what he was thinking?

I have to admit, it was hard to fall asleep with him lying so close. I could smell his skin, faint but pleasant. Compared to alphas and omegas, betas don’t have much of the Allure scent. With alphas and omegas, their fragrance comes in all kinds of variations—floral, fruity, or other natural scents. At least, that’s how the brain interprets them. They probably don’t actually smell like nature, but our minds link them to familiar scents.

Betas, though, either have a very faint scent or none at all. Soren, for example, had a very faint Allure—something like a dahlia with a hint of mint. But it was so subtle I could barely notice it, so it didn’t function as true Allure. Omegas, on the other hand, have pheromone-filled scents that trigger a strong response in alphas, letting them instantly assess a potential mate’s suitability. With our faint scent, an alpha would read it as ‘low compatibility’ rather than anything significant. Even if it was his True Mate, the scent wouldn’t be recognized as such without increasing in intensity by at least tenfold, triggering a proper pheromonal and hormonal response from the alpha.

I knew that I basically didn’t have Allure at all. Soren was a beta with omega traits, but I was just… a beta. I never experienced anything like he did—like mini-heats. My reproductive system was inactive, and my glands didn’t produce any noticeable scent.

If I really tried, maybe I could pick up a faint whiff of something sweet, like a flower, but it was so subtle I couldn’t even identify what it was. With Finn, I couldn’t tell if what I was smelling was his shower gel or maybe a trace of his own Allure. Lying close to him, my nose by his shoulder, I tried to separate the artificial scent of the soap from whatever his own fragrancemight be. For brief moments, I thought I could make it out—something herbal, maybe like lemongrass?

Then I thought a bit about how Finn reacted when he saw my tattoo. I saw the shock on his face, and was sure he didn’t like it—maybe he even hated it. His whole energy seemed to reflect that. I just knew that if he had the power, he’d erase it instantly. His expression made me realize how crazy it must seem to others, to have a tattoo of a love interest’s name on your body. Borderline psycho territory.

Even if it seemed like a good idea at the time, now that Soren had his True Mate, my perspective on the tattoo had completely changed. It was a huge mistake. But I had no idea what to do about it. For now.

***

The next day started with breakfast. This time, I got up earlier, determined to prove I could be useful. I made a hearty breakfast with eggs, bacon, and pancakes. When Finn came out of his room, his eyes widened as he stared at the table.

"Oh, wow! You really surprised me; this looks amazing!"

I noticed he gave me a cautious look, like he wanted to say something or ask a question but held back. He ate everything with a good appetite while I cleaned the kitchen—wiped down the counters and loaded the dishwasher. He watched me the whole time, looking pleasantly surprised.

After that, he took me to his brother’s house, where we picked up bikes. It wasn’t far, and his brother and kids were away on a weekend trip, which was a relief since I wasn’t ready to meet Finn’s family just yet. We got on the bikes and headed to a nearby park. It was next to a small forest lake, so we got offour bikes, sat on some wooden benches, and ate a snack while watching ducks float on the water.

It was a really nice, relaxing outing. I have to admit, Finn’s energy was completely different from Soren’s, which was always all over the place and unstable. Finn had his life together—there was a calmness and an inner peace about him. His smile wasn’t forced; it seemed to come from somewhere deep inside and felt genuine. We talked for a while. I asked him about his family. Both his parents were doctors. He had two brothers—an older omega and a much younger alpha who lived abroad.

Being the only beta, he grew up under unique pressure, somewhat similar to my own upbringing but with a different angle, since I was an only child. Having an omega and an alpha as siblings, he always knew that as a beta, he was the ‘less desirable’ child, even by comparison. That was the harsh reality for all betas. You could say it was like a rite of passage we all had to go through as we hit puberty, realizing our secondary gender. Parents rarely reacted with, "Oh, how wonderful that our child turned out to be a beta!"

They smile and put on a good face, but it’s all just a show. In our society, it’s expected—smiling and pretending everything’s fine. You’re not allowed to express anything negative, not even to close relatives or friends because it’s considered highly inappropriate. Whatever you think, you bury it deep inside. You can’t let it show that it’s unfortunate to have a beta—the one who won’t have kids, won’t have a perfect mate, and has to build a career just to be seen as useful in society. Kinda twisted.

From what Finn told me, it was different with siblings, though. The ‘disappointment energy’ surrounding him was more subtle than in my case. Omegas and alphas often looked positively at having a beta sibling from a practical standpoint. It was widely accepted that betas would leave their inheritance to their siblings' children, so from their perspective it wasn't reallyan issue. It was more about how the parents felt, and there lay the rub.

Over the last thousand years, society has developed all sorts of mechanisms to protect betas and build up their sense of worth. There were tons of programs under the umbrella term ‘Empower Betas’, all meant to elevate us to the same social level as alphas and omegas. There were even movements trying to argue that betas were superior to alphas and omegas, who were stuck in humiliating, primal mating games. Their reproductive drives dominated their lives, like that of animals, while betas were supposedly truly free. In those movements, betas were seen as being able to fully focus on careers and personal growth, which was considered more valuable than being caught in an endless cycle of heats, ruts, matings, parenting, and biological instincts.

But beneath all those socially constructed layers, there was still that flicker of disappointment in every parent’s eye when they found out their kid presented as a beta.

Finn talked about it honestly, without sugarcoating or pretending it was all fine. He spoke about his own disappointment, and I shared my own experience with that. No matter how much society told us betas were just as valuable, that the ability to reproduce didn’t add anything to one’s worth, or that you could always adopt if you wanted to be a parent, deep down, we all knew betas just didn’t have something that alphas and omegas did. And no matter how valuable we felt as humans, that difference was simply… objective.

Of course, for betas who never wanted kids or didn’t plan to start a family, it wasn’t really an issue. It might have even been a convenience since they didn’t have to worry about birth control. But for people like Finn and me, who wanted children of our own, dealing with that disappointment was—truthfully—a lifelong process of coming to terms with reality.

I appreciated that Finn talked about these things so openly because I preferred the ugly truth to sugarcoated lies. Soren had given me enough of those. No matter how much philosophy you build around it, I’d rather deal with undeniable facts.

At one point, we were sitting, looking out at the water, watching ducks and swans glide by. Finn was right next to me, his arm almost brushing against mine. I really wanted him to lift his arm and wrap it around me, but I knew he didn’t want to cross that line between us—the line that, if crossed, would bring a lot of unknowns.

As I sat there next to him, enjoying the nice weather, soaking in Finn’s peaceful energy, and just basking in the serenity of the moment, for the first time, I seriously started to wonder… what if Finn and I were actually together? The idea, so murky and vague before, started to crystallize.

When it fully sank in, I even felt it as a wave of warmth in my body. Feeling physically attracted to Finn was one thing, but the idea of actually building a relationship with him? That was a whole different world. A much scarier one.

There was a twelve-year age difference between us and a gap in life experience. It didn’t bother me, but Finn might not be interested in being with someone who had just finished college and still had years ahead to figure himself out.

Realizing this, I quickly pushed the thought away and decided not to dwell on it. But maybe… maybe I could still indulge in a simple fantasy about Finn. You know, just a harmless one. Even if he didn’t want me as a life-long partner, maybe we could at least… have a fling?

I glanced at him cautiously. He was staring out at the water, deep in thought, his finger tracing lightly along his chin. His eyes were squinted against the bright sunlight.

They were really similar to Soren’s—light, silvery-gray. I suddenly realized I had to stop comparing Finn to Soren. Finn had his own eyes, and it was silly to keep linking him to my ex.

I analyzed his face for a moment. He had an elegant profile, with a straight nose and well-shaped lips.

What if he turned and kissed me right now?

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