Page 6 of Unwanted

With a shock, I felt my muscles disobeying my will—I gripped his arm tighter, pulling myself closer, completely forgetting about the whole not pressing my hard-on against his leg rule. My breathing grew shallow as I worried, he’d get mad. What was happening to me? Why was I reacting like this? It felt like mind-altering magic.

Then I heard his breathing quicken, too.

Finn’s voice was rough, as if struggling. "Liam—"

I didn’t know what he was going to say, but I knew what I did. I pressed my lips to his neck, leaving a soft, open-mouthed kiss. He flinched slightly.

"Liam, this isn’t a good idea. I—I understand. I know how you feel—confusion, emotional chaos—but it’s all too fresh."

I clenched my fists, pulling my face away from his neck. Yep, I’d embarrassed myself. Another rejection—story of my life. A wave of shame crashed over me.

"You don’t want me either. No one wants me! I repulse everyone!" I allowed myself to be dramatic.

I tried to jerk back, to get out of his bed, but Finn’s hands held me firmly. He placed one hand on the back of my head, gently pulling me close to his neck again.

"No, you’re so wrong. It’s the opposite. You can feel for yourself just how far I am from being repulsed, if you need proof of that."

His voice told me more than I expected—I understood what he meant. Acting without thinking too much (thinking clearly had become a forgotten skill for me), I reached down and… my hand found a hard mound under the blanket. I shuddered at the touch; I’d never touched anyone like that before. So, I quickly pulled my hand back.

Finn let out a breath. "We only met today, Liam, and you’re in a vulnerable position. I couldn’t go further—it would go against being a good host, your trust, and everything I believe in."

I squeezed my eyes shut, torn by conflicting emotions. I felt foolish for crossing a line, but his touch, his scent, was doing something to me I couldn’t resist. I mumbled, "I know it was dumb. I shouldn’t have done it. I just couldn’t help it. Since you held me on that cliff, I’ve felt this overwhelming need to be in your arms again…"

Finn sighed softly and ruffled my hair.

"Liam, I feel it too. That’s part of why I invited you to stay here. Holding you gives me an incredible feeling, and I’d be open to exploring it in the future, once you’re calmer and have some distance from today. You need a few days to relax and clear your head from everything you’ve been through. Then we’ll see whathappens when the emotions and tension settle. Does that sound okay?"

I stayed quiet, my heart pounding. He was right, of course. What I did was desperate and impulsive. But his words gave me a tiny, sweet hint of hope—did he actually want to explore this later? Had he really said that? Could I have misunderstood it?

Was he just being cautious, tiptoeing around a suicidal kid, making sure I didn’t feel rejected again? He’d invited me here, knowing I was clearly unstable, and now felt the need to say these soothing things, offering something he didn’t truly want, just for my sake? And I had already shown quite a bit of ‘instability’—coming here, to his room, throwing myself at him, making a move on him!

Once more, I had to remind myself he was practically a stranger, and here I was priming myself for something with him…

A horrifying thought struck me: was I making him my rebound? He didn’t deserve to be just a consolation toy after Soren broke my heart. I needed to respect him more, and… myself too.

I sighed quietly. Had I really learned nothing? I’d done this before—throwing myself at someone without being sure of their feelings. The same pattern, bound to end in disappointment.

But…

There was this stubborn thought, or maybe hope, that perhaps this time, I had a better chance of turning the tide. Something inside me was throwing a fit, biting and clawing, urging me to follow through on this impulse, this intuition drawing me toward him.

"I’m sorry," I whispered. "You’re right. But can I still stay here? I promise I won’t do anything else stupid."

"Of course. Let’s try to get some sleep; we both need it."

His voice was soft, soothing. One of his hands gently brushed my hair, his fingers tracing my cheek in a way so tender it sent a shiver down my spine. I’d dreamed about somebody touching me like that for so long.

Yes, I was definitely touch-starved, touch-desperate; my self-diagnosis was spot on.

I forced myself to relax and fall asleep in his arms. In some ways, it was easy because I felt safe, but in other ways, it was hard because that strange fever, the heat he stirred in me, wouldn’t go away. Still, I made myself drift off, and soon enough, darkness took over.

I had a dream, though.

In the dream, I was back on the cliff. A strong wind whipped around me, and my feet were slipping toward the edge. Then I saw Finn running in my direction through the bushes. He leaped and caught me in his embrace, pulling me away from the cliff, but we somehow moved above it, above the ground! Suddenly, we were both… flying! It was so liberating and felt just… right. His arms wrapped tightly around me, and he lifted my face, cradling it in his hands. His gray eyes locked onto mine.

"Liam, you’re mine now. I won’t let you go," his lips whispered, and then he leaned in, kissing my forehead and cheeks. It felt so good, so warm, that I let myself sink into the bliss, closing my eyes.

When I opened them again, it was morning.

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