Page 34 of Reluctantly Rogue

We were just all…us.

Then he smiled. A relaxed, regular-guy smile.

And I want to see that smile again and again.

I press my hand to my stomach as I think about theothersmiles of his.

There’s the one that we exchange sometimes when Torin gets on one of his rants about something. It can be his grandfather. It can be some decision the U.S. president made. It can be something his younger brother did. Torin is a passionate guy. There’s very little that he doesn’t feel strongly about.

There’s also the smile Jonah gives me when he’s standing nearby as I’m meeting with someone or ‘chatting’ with someone important at a cocktail party. I’ll catch his eye, and he’ll give me a smile that seems part encouraging, part impressed, and part…proud.

It always makes me feel like there’s a warm bubble expanding in my chest and then bursting open and flooding me with tingles.

Does it really make me feel that good to know mybodyguardisproudof me as I meet with leaders from various areas of science, business, and public policy? Something I’ve been doing for years on my own? But yes, it does. Jonah is paying attention, and he thinks I’m doing a good job.

And then there’s the smile he gives me when I first walk into a room.

Any room. Any time. No matter what the situation. No matter how I’m dressed. When we’re both in the same room, we seem to search each other out, and the first moment we make eye contact, he always gives me the same smile. I can’t really describe that one, but the warm bubble and feel-good tingles in the professional settings feel like a spark of static electricity compared to what that smile does to me. That smile makes me feel like I touched a live wire and got a jolt of heat and power that spreads a lot further than just my chest.

A lotlowerthan just my chest.

I swallow.

Dammit. This is not good. I know that.

But I can’t help it.

Dirty thoughts about my future husband’s best friend are inappropriate. Dirty thoughts aboutmyfuture bodyguard—and hell, he’s mycurrentbodyguard whenever I’m with Torin—are just plain torturous.

Isn’t it just perfect that I finally find myself attracted to someone, and he’s probably the most off-limits man I know?

Dammit. I really shouldn’t have made him all these cookies, should I?

This is basically like twenty-four colorful disks of sugar screamingI want you and like you so much.

Astrid finally replies.

Have you kissed him?

I stare at her message. Why would she ask that? Why would she jump to that all of a sudden? And why are my cheeks hot?

No!!!!

But you’ve thought about it, right?

No.

I’m lying, of course. I’ve thought about it a lot.

Liar.

I did.

You’ve thought about kissing Jonah???

Lol! No. I kissed Miles.

What???!!

---