Page 58 of Rags to Royals

“Well,Ibecame a single mom. And there were some pretty shitty times before that even.”

I don’t want to hear this. I have lived my very privileged life, male, wealthy, able to do whatever I wanted and rarely facing consequences. The ones I have faced have been softened by my family and Henry. Hearing about other people not having advantages always stabs me in the gut. It always makes me wish that I knew how to do something about it.

It was why Scarlett coming into my life with a fully formed plan that I could immediately implement seemed like such a gift. One that I had jumped on. One that I had fallen in love with.

Now I am wondering how much of my emotion for her is truly wrapped up in that idea she gave me. Maybe it’s all just that. And great sex. Because the sex was really fucking great.

Eighteen days to really get to know her, to find out if what I feel is abouther, or just about the plan that finally gave me a purpose, is a really good idea, I realize.

I return to my chair and drop into it. “Hit me,” I tell her. “Tell me all the terrible things.”

“So my mom raised us without my father. But we always knew who he was. And we definitely were shunned by the people in the church, and their kids at school. But there was half the town who didn’t buy his bullshit, so we had friends. But then when I was twelve, after Brian had been in our lives for about four years, I decided that I would really like to know my real father. I don’t really know why, exactly, but one day it just hit me. I was sitting in math class, and I suddenly decided that it was time I got to know him. I showed up on his doorstep that evening after dinner and told him that. And I asked if that was possible.”

Scarlett sits back in her chair and tips her head up to look at the sky.

I brace myself. She told me the story was going to get worse. I already hate her father so much that I’m very afraid I may drive over to the man’s house tonight after she tells me the rest of what happened.

“He said yes,” she continues. “But I had to start coming to church. I had to become someone he was proud to call a daughter. And I agreed. I wanted to get to know him, I wanted his approval. I can’t explain it other than to say I was a twelve-year-old girl. My mom was awesome, Brian was awesome. It was not a rebellion against them. And I probably will never totally forgive myself for rejecting them that way.”

She turns her head to look at me. “But I started going to his church and youth group, doing everything he told me to do, buying into all the stuff that he told me. How to be a good follower, how to be someone he was proud of, how to live the right kind of life. And I bought into all of this stuff that he is apparently pressing on the other kids now. That we had to minister to the other kids at school, that we had to bring them to church, that if we could save them, we were saving ourselves.”

She takes a deep breath, then blows it out. She’s quiet for several seconds.

“The project that he gave me was Ruby. I was supposed to bring Ruby around to God and our father’s church.”

I can hear the emotion in her voice now. She’s on the verge of tears, it’s clear.

“Did it work?” I ask gently. I have a suspicion I know the answer already.

She gives a soft laugh. “No. In fact, it became a huge wedge between us and I ended up moving out of my mom’s house and going to live with my dad. I spent my years from age twelve to nineteen judging everyone else, including my family, trying to get the other kids to come to church and live the way we thought they should live. And I was mean. To the other kids, especially the girls, and very judgmental.”

“Does that include Hannah?” I guess.

“No, actually. Hannah was another church girl. She was actually the favorite girl until I came along. She always resented me. We had kind of a weird competition going on. But she didn’t really start hating me until the summer after we graduated from high school. Because I stole the new, cute church guy before she had a chance at him.”

I sit forward again, too restless to relax.

“Toward the end of our senior year, Eli came to town. He was finishing college, was going to be a pastor and wanted to study under my father as our church’s youth pastor. He was cute, he started flirting with me, and I fell head over heels. It all seemed perfect. Eli was going to be my father’s right-hand man at the church and I assumed that would mean that my father would approve of me even more. Eli and I would be together, get married, serve in the church right beside my father.” She stops and swallows. “But we ended up getting pregnant.”

The words hit me in the chest like a lead ball. Of course I should’ve guessed that’s where this was going.

“I was honestly happy. I figured we would just get married sooner because of the baby. But I didn’t think it would change anything. I think maybe Eli thought so too. But when we went to tell my father we wanted to get married, he was suspicious. We confessed about the pregnancy and…” She has to swallow again. “My father decided that we were the perfect sacrificial lambs.”

I look at her, frowning hard. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“My father decided to tell his entire congregation, really the whole town, that we had slept together before being married and were now pregnant. That was our punishment. And he used us as an example to show his congregation that it didn’t matter who stepped out of line, there would still be consequences. If he could reject Eli and me, he would reject anyone. It was his chance to make his followers even more committed, and let’s face it, scared of him. So he fired Eli and made him leave town, and he kicked me out of the church and his house.”

“Motherfucker.” I stare at her. “I hate your father.”

She gives me a small smile. “In retrospect, he did me a favor. At the time it didn’t feel that way, though. Eli tucked his tail between his legs and ran. He didn’t even talk to me again after that meeting with my father.”

“What happened? You were on your own?”

“No.” She looks at me, her eyes shining with tears in the firelight. “Ruby heard about it before I could do anything. She called me and said she was coming to get me. Ten minutes later she was at my dad’s house, carrying my shit out to the car and forcing me into the front seat. Not that she really had to force me. Then she took me home. She and my mom took me back in without a second thought. Even though I didn’t deserve it.”

Her voice breaks then and I can see a tear slip down her cheek.

“Brian even came over. He and my mom had already divorced—of course my dad made a big deal out of that as did I, because I was a huge pain in the ass bitch. But Brian was there for me too. I stayed with them through the pregnancy until I had Mariah. Then Ruby and I moved out. We went to Chicago first. Then Kansas City. Then Nashville. Then New Orleans. We just kept moving a little farther and a little farther away.”

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