There are a lot more of the kind of people I know in the world than the kind of people Henry knows.
So his snooty, bossy, I-know-better attitude doesn’t even make me blink. He’s more sophisticated and can be demanding and a little intimidating, but he’s also full of hot air.
There are definitely things he knows far less well than I do, and when I find one of those things, it delights me.
Right now, I thinkIhappen to be one of those things.
Our chemistry is off the charts. I can’t hide the fact that I react to him physically and, yes, as hard as I tried to hide it, that I’m in love with him. I wish he didn’t know that. I wishIdidn’t know that. I wish it wasn’t true. It would make all of this easier.
Because it’s notjustthe in-love thing. It’s that Henry and I are the same. We love big and hard. Once we love someone, we’ll do anything for them.
So, it’s incredibly hard to convince him that I can be in love with him andnotwant to be with him.
But he doesn’t know that I have plans. Plans that don’t involve Scarlett and Mariah. Or him.
He can’t even imagine doing something that doesn’t involve Cian, so I know it hasn’t occurred to him that I might be thinking of myself for a change.
“Then I’ll have to just ignore you for the rest of my life,” I tell him.
“No.”
“Henry,” I say firmly. “We arenotgoing to date. Or sleep together. Or spend fun, family time together as if we’re old friends.”
“No, we’re not going to do that last one. Wearegoing to date and sleep together.” He steps forward. “There’s no reason we can’t make this work. Yes, Cian is my responsibility. Yes, there are going to be times when I have to put him first. But that will be so much less now. It will mean going for a run with him or having lunch with him. It’s Emerald, Ohio. He’s going to be settled. Happy. He won’t be jetting around the world. He won’t be doing stupid things like deep-sea diving.” He pauses. “Okay, he might still deep-sea dive. But he won’t be…picking fights with men bigger than him in bars in Heppenheim.”
I lift a brow.
“Germany,” he fills in.
“But hewillbe traveling the country. He and Scarlett are going to be traveling for the Foundation.”
“Sure. But those will be quick trips. A day or two. We’ll be like any couple who has one partner who travels for work,” he insists. He moves in until he’s right in front of me. He lifts a hand to cup my cheek. “I’ll be coming home. To you.”
But see…that’s the thing.
He won’t.
I sigh and step back, away from his touch.
“The fact remains,” I tell him. “I want to be the main character in my story.”
He frowns.
“I want to be the number one thing in the life of my partner. Like Scarlett is in Cian’s life.”
That’s kind of a low blow. Henry and Cian are more than friends. They’re like brothers. And I know that this change in Cian’s life—falling in love, getting married, giving Scarlett his time, attention, and energy—affects his bond with Henry. I know because it’s affecting my bond with Scarlett.
But it’s agoodthing. Mostly. I think my jealousy is normal. I’m going to miss a lot of things about not being Scarlett’snumber one anymore. Yes, Mariah has been her main priority for the last fifteen years, but Mariah has been mine as well. She’s really kind-ofourdaughter. There was nothing Scarlett did for her that I didn’t do except actually carry her and give birth. Their natural mother-daughter bond is real, but Mariah and I are very, very close.
So yes, at times, I’m jealous that Scarlett is telling Cian her secrets, sharing her worries with him, spending most of her free time with him.
But mostly, I’m thrilled. Because I love her so damned much, and he is everything she deserves.
I know Henry feels all of this on the other side.
That doesn’t mean I won’t point it all out and make him face it to make my point, though.
“I want what Scarlett and Cian have. I want a guy who is willing to give everything up for me.”