Page 113 of Midnight Wedding

This is why my father always hated me. This is why I never fit in. This is why it’s always been fucking wrong.

I’m spiraling. I can feel it happening and I can’t stop.

Not my mother. Not my aunt. Not my real family at all.

“Arsen,” Lena says more urgently. “Hey. Listen to me. You are who you are. It’s okay. Nothing’s different.”

“No,” I say, stumbling away from her. “No, fucking no.”

“Arsen!”

I stagger into the hallway, heart racing. I move fast as Lena tries to catch up. I have to get away.

I don’t know who I am or what I’m capable of anymore.

All I know is I’m wrong. I’m all wrong.

My sense of self shatters into a million pieces.

I’ve always defined myself by this family—and if they’re not really mine?

If I’m some half-Russian hybrid monstrosity?

My mother’s not my mother—my aunt’s not my aunt—my father’s not my father?—

Tigran’s my cousin.

These aren’t my halls. This isn’t my house.

These aren’t even my people.

I’m not who I always thought I was.

I turn left suddenly and throw myself into a room. I slam the door shut and lock it. Lena bangs on the door and rattles the handle, trying to come in. I run to the closet and shove a hidden mechanism built into the back.

A panel slides open. The passageways yawn, black and inviting.

I throw myself inside and let the house swallow me.

Chapter 40

Lena

Iwake up and run my fingers across my husband’s pillow.

I swear, it’s warm—but Arsen’s still gone.

Instead of his big, comforting body, there’s a small bouquet of flowers.

Roses clipped from the garden.

I hold them up to my nose and breathe them in deep.

They smell like him.

“Any luck today?”Maud asks. She puts a plate of pancakes down in front of me. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been craving them like crazy.

“Aside from the flowers, nothing.”

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