Page 33 of Hooked

“You want to watch a terrible holiday movie with us?”

God no, but I want to press up next to her on the couch, so I say yes.

13

Sia

It’s Chinese food, and thenRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Vinny provides running commentary about the exploitation of Rudolph.

“So it’s okay to be different as long as you’re useful,” he says, scoffing at the screen. “Good message there.”

I’d never thought of it that way, but he’s not wrong. Would anyone accept Rudolph’s shiny red nose if it didn’t cut through bad weather?

“I don’t know,” my uncle says. “That little girl deer there seemed to like him regardless.”

“Clarice,” I supply.

Vinny grumbles, andIt’s a Wonderful Lifecomes on next. Uncle Danny groans.

“My life is wonderful enough now.” He presses a hand to my shoulder. It surprises me to hear him say that, but I’m glad. “I’m going to bed. See you two tomorrow. Big party going on I hear.”

I grin at him, and as soon as he’s out of sight, snuggle up next to Vinny. He slips his arm around me, and I fall asleep.

I always forget how long that movie is.

I wake up covered in a blanket, alone on the couch. How long had I been asleep? Feels like hours.

Actually I love that movie, despite the length, but not for the reasons people might think. It’s hilarious to me that the worst thing the producers could dream up for Mary, had she not married a loud and emotionally closed off George Bailey, was being a, gasp, unmarried librarian. But I do love seeing the impact that one person can make on a community, and I like to keep that in mind when I’m feeling lonely and insignificant.

I stretch and yawn before abandoning the warm nest of the couch for the third floor. I change into my nightgown. It’s basically a flimsy silk slip with lace at the top and the bottom, but it was either this or A Little House on the Prairie type flannel gown and I just couldn’t do that. Normally I’d throw my robe on, but everyone’s asleep so I can wash my face without getting water all over the robe.

Wouldn’t mind Vinny finding me like this.

I don’t bother to shut the bathroom door and grab my toothbrush.

Hopefully Vinny hadn’t been too bored watching the movie, but then again, he’s not shy about leaving when he wants. I’m honestly grateful for that clarity.

He said he’d liked spending time with me, and I could believe that.

But he’d also said he didn’t think relationships were worth it.

I drop my toothbrush into the holder and grab a clean face cloth from the linen closet.

Vinny and I are so different that it’s incredible we can get along at all. He may not think I’m fake and vapid anymore, but he definitely thinks I have too many feelings, despite the fact that I keep them tightly wrapped, and that I buy my way out of problems.

I think he’s too closed off, and that he’s pretending to prefer austerity when in reality he’s afraid of being hurt again.

Maybe we’re both a little bit right and a little bit wrong. But it doesn’t matter, because in the end he wants to be alone and I don’t.

I wash my makeup off and slather on moisturizer. The ocean air is super drying, and my skin hasn’t recovered from the near drowning.

Not vapid, but I suppose I am a little vain. Nothing wrong with looking your best.

Sia, who are you arguing with?

But actually, I should go downstairs and get some water. Moisturizer is only one part of the equation.

I go into the kitchen and grab a glass of water. I drink half of it and decide to refill it before returning to bed. Turning from the kitchen into the front hall, I run into a large person. Before I can stop myself, I let out a pathetic, frightened little squeak. I live alone, so running into a person, in the dark, late at night, trips my fear response. Strong arms grab my shoulders.

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