Page 77 of Rake

“Bullshit,” my father says, turning up the television. “Where the hell do you two have to go? Benji has school anyway.”

“I mean it,” I say. “If you ever clean your act up, you can give me a call. Until then, I wish you the best of luck. I wish I could say that I’ll miss you, but I won’t. I won’t miss the abuse. I won’t miss the insults and the stress.”

I’ll miss what could’ve been, but I’m not going to waste my life pining for could-have-beens when real, concrete happiness is within reach.

He ignores me and turns the TV up until it’s painful to listen to. I feel frozen to the spot. I’ve been anticipating being free from him my whole life, and now that it’s here, suddenly, I’m not sure what to do.

Benjamin takes my arm. “Come on, sis. He’ll have plenty of time to think about his mistakes without us here.” He looks at my father. “I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Mom. Or to Sasha. Sasha would, though, if you’d make even the smallest attempt at being a decent person.”

He pulls me toward the door. “Let’s go.”

I follow him out to a van we’ve rented. It’s packed with the last of our things. Finn offered to help me face my father, but I wanted to do it with just Benjamin. I expected more of an explosion, to be honest, but his callous dismissal may be worse, somehow.

But I’m proud of myself for leaving, hard as it was.

We unload the final boxes in the new apartment. I head upstairs and knock on Finn’s door.

He opens it and frowns. “You don’t have to knock,” he says, pulling me against him. “This is your place too. Let’s get you unpacked.”

“Oh, Benj and I took care of that already.”

He sighs. “Sasha you’re supposed to let me help you with all the manly stuff. We talked about this.”

I giggle and he squeezes me tighter.

“Next time there’s heavy lifting let me help, please? You don’t need to do everything alone.”

He kisses my neck and I moan softly.

“Jesus Christ,” he growls in my ear. “I’m hard already.”

I laugh again, and he pulls me into his place, shutting the door behind us. He leads me into his bedroom and we tangle in each other’s arms.

“Benjamin should probably knock though,” he says, stroking my breasts. “Don’t want him to be further traumatized by walking in on me ravishing his delectable sister.”

He proceeds to ravish me with his mouth, and I melt against him, enjoying every second. We kiss for an eternity, and then I lie in his arms.

“Was it hard saying goodbye?” he asks.

“Not for him,” I say. “He didn’t even register it. Probably won’t notice until the beer runs out.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s too bad,” I say. “But I can’t change him into a better person.”

He nuzzles my neck. “It’s true. My father is going to shit his pants when I bring you to dinner.”

I huff out a quiet laugh.

“Are you sure you want to go?” he asks. “I recognize how beyond fucked up it is, given what he did. It’s not your normal ‘boyfriend’s dad is an asshole’ drama.”

“God, it is. But it’ll be fun watching him squirm, especially knowing what I know about your long-term plans.” I arch my neck and he slowly draws his tongue down behind my ear. “Boyfriend, huh?”

He nibbles a path toward my shoulder. “No? What’s your poison then? Partner? Lover?” He says ‘lover’ in a deep, throaty voice that makes me laugh.

“Boyfriend is good,” I say, giggling.

He brushes my hair aside and plants an open mouth kiss on my shoulder. “I love you, Sasha. I can’t believe you’re here with me.”

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