Page 54 of Rake

I’m sure that was believable. Jesus.

His eyes narrow. A man with this bad a poker face shouldn’t own a casino.

“Do you think your little display last night did anything but draw my ire, Sasha? It changes nothing.”

“I have to disagree, sir. I’m sure Mr. Harvey and your investors are watching this process very carefully to see how it plays out. If you step out of line, it’ll be all over the papers.”

I’d banked on Carney making some play at using my presence to brag to his fancy friends and had planned accordingly but having a reporter from the Globe there when he did so had been an incredible stroke of luck.

“You’re awfully arrogant. You think I can’t keep things out of the papers, girl?” He steps closer, but I hold my ground.

“I’m sure you can, sir. After all you were able to suppress what your goons did to me back in July. But do you think you’re the only one with connections? In the press and elsewhere? You’re stretched thin, and you might have been able to completely crush many of the people you stepped on to get where you are, to get that license.” I gesture at the casino. “But can you honestly tell me there aren’t people waiting for you to stumble so they can rip your empire apart and scavenge the pieces?”

I sound like I know more than I do, but it’s mostly thanks to Dr. Smith’s wise words. “One misstep, Mr. Carney. That’s all it takes sometimes to destroy a life’s work.”

His nostrils flare as he stares daggers into me.

“I’m not trying to make you angry, sir. I’m just trying to tell you that there are better ways to do business.”

He laughs at that. “Oh sweetheart, as if you know a goddamn thing about business. You slut it up with my son and you think you’re a venture capitalist now? Let me tell you something about business.” He jams his finger in my face. “You think it was bad before? Just you wait. And don’t expect my loser son to do anything to help you.”

“I don’t expect anything from Finn.” It hurts me to say it, but it’s true. “Finn is brilliant, though. He’s another of your blind spots.”

A malicious smile spreads across James Carney’s face.

My fingers and toes go numb.

“I heard you were at his place last weekend. How did he get you there?”

The way he enjoys wielding his cruelty is chilling.

“Did he ask you out on a nice date, huh? I’m sure that must be it. But whatever it was, it had nothing to do with me. I didn’t have you dragged to his apartment. I’m sure he told you I was behind it, but no, I didn’t arrange that little escapade. But in some ways I suppose you’re right—being conniving is a form of brilliance, and Finn has that in spades.”

I clench my teeth together to keep my jaw from dropping in shock. I’m dizzy from the effort required to stay upright. I don’t want to believe this. I don’t want to believe Finn could do something like this, but something in my gut tells me Carney isn’t lying.

“Terrible to think my own son would retraumatize someone and then use it as a pretense to fuck her into getting his way. Finn’s a thoughtful man. I’m sure he’ll give you a call. Make sure you get home okay.” He puts his arm on my shoulder and I cringe.

He clicks his tongue at me again. “I almost feel bad for you. Have a good day, Miss Saunders.”

He continues on his way to the casino. I stumble blindly toward the bus stop. The cold walls of a panic attack close around me and my brain seems to go on autopilot as I wait for the bus, shivering uncontrollably. I sit on a bench as my stomach clenches, and I dry heave, puking up some bile.

I knew Finn was out for himself, but to have that monster P.J. drag me to his place knowing how it’d terrorize me? Did they plan what P.J. would say together? Did he tell P.J. how firmly to grip my neck as he dragged me up those stairs, and did they laugh about how stupid I was to blame his actions on his father?

I’m grateful that I’m too numb to cry. The bus comes, and the blast of heat that hits me when I climb on causes my stomach to clench again. I move to the middle of the bus, sitting on the hard bench by the second set of doors. I try to breathe.

How could someone put another person through an ordeal like that and then hold them when they wake up screaming from nightmares they’ve made worse? How could the same person who was so careful not to hurt me my first time orchestrate this? I still wish I could believe his father was lying, but it clarifies some questions I had.

How could he do this to me? I thought I’d seen flashes of kindness, but I guess I saw what I wanted to. I wanted to give myself an excuse for being attracted to him. For letting him touch me like I did. For wanting him to touch me.

Benjamin’s already left for school when I get home. My father will be asleep, and I’m grateful. I shower again and change into my bland work clothes. I felt like some kind of fairy tale princess last night, and now I’m back in the gutter where I belong. No happy endings for me.

But at least I know where I stand here.

I’m getting those workers their union, and I’m getting Benjamin in school, and then I’m getting the hell out of here, away from my loser father and the evil, sadistic Carneys.

I’m still tender from where Finn was inside me, and I hope it won’t take too long to forget how incredible that felt. How can I separate that feeling from the betrayal I feel now? I was so stupid.

But I won’t make that mistake again. Carney will make a play for me at some point. He’s a man who holds a grudge, especially when it’s personal. And by the way he sneered at me, I can tell it’s personal now. I embarrassed him, and he won’t let that lie.

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