Page 69 of Rake

I clutch at his good arm. I can’t see straight. He’s saying something else, but I can’t hear him anymore. The snow falling around me looks like shooting stars.

I make a wish.

20

Sasha

Iblink my eyes open slowly, the fuzzy, familiar warmth of painkillers offering me a false sense of comfort.

The smell of the hospital is familiar, but it takes me a minute to remember why I’m here.

And what happened.

Doherty Park. Again.

I killed someone. I took a life. Did I do it to save my brother or to get revenge? I don’t know how to answer that and the truth of it is, I may never know. And where is my brother? I try to sit up and groan as a wave of pain forces me to lay back down.

“Sasha!”

Jamilah sits next to me and clutches my arm.

“Baby,” she says, tears glistening in her eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

“Benjamin?” I murmur, trying to contain my panic.

“He’s fine, honey. No injuries. He just had to use the bathroom. The police will want to talk to you both eventually, but since there isn’t a guardian present and Benjamin’s a minor…”

I close my eyes again to clear my head before reaching over to her.

“Sasha,” she sighs. “What am I going to do with you?”

I lick my lips so I can speak. “Did we win?”

She looks confused for a minute, but then squeezes my hand. “Only you could think of the election at a time like this. But we did. By a landslide.”

The relief that settles over me is indescribable. Again I’m not sure if it’s the satisfaction of revenge against Carney rather than the high-minded protection of the workers, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. Both could be true at the same time. And I knew how I’d get back at him again and help Finn at the same time.

Shit. Finn.

“Is Finn okay?” I ask.

“He’s in surgery,” Jamilah answers. “They didn’t tell me more than that.”

My brother comes back into the room and when he sees that I’m awake, he rushes over and grabs my hand.

“I thought he’d killed you,” he says, his eyes red and puffy. “I should’ve been the one to shoot that prick, Sasha.”

A wave of incredible grief washes over me, for the innocence I lost in that park back in July and for what I’m sure I lost by killing a man today. For what my brother lost by witnessing it. For the lack of kindness in my life, and in my brother’s.

“Benjamin, no. None of that should’ve happened,” I blurt out. “He laughed. He fucking laughed at me the whole time. I’m glad he’s dead.”

Benjamin’s nod is barely perceptible. I wish he hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen that.

But life is full of terrible things we can’t protect our loved ones from, no matter how much we’d like to.

“If Finn didn’t send me that note, who did?” Benjamin asks.

Jamilah and I exchange glances. “I’m guessing his father,” I sigh. “He gets back at me for my work with his staff, and any consequences fall on Finn.”

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