Page 75 of Rake

I take a deep breath and step out of my SUV.

22

Sasha

My father chucks another empty beer can into the recycling bin. I’d set one up near his chair so he’d be less likely to toss them on the floor.

“Bin’s full!” he screams at me.

It’s trash night anyway, so I might as well take it out. It’s cold, but I don’t bother putting a coat on and just grab the bin and carry it out to the curb.

We’ve had more snow, and the banks pushed up from the plows come up to my hip. I nestle the bin securely in the one closest to the road and am about to head back in and grab the trash when I hear my name.

Finn crosses the street and comes over to where I’m standing.

“Hi.”

“Should you be driving with a sling?” I ask. It’s stupid, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind.

“No, probably not.” He shrugs. “But I wanted to see you.”

He holds out a bouquet of hydrangeas, and I take them gingerly.

“Thank you.” They’re bright blue with big green leaves.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he says. “I meant to. I just had so many things I wanted to say to you, and I didn’t know where to start.”

“It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything. You saved Benjamin. And I know you’ll be respectful to the casino staff in a way your father wouldn’t.” The man who took a bullet for my brother isn’t the same man who had me brought forcibly to his house those weeks ago. That’s clear, no matter how the rest of this conversation goes.

“I owe you everything. Everything, Sasha. I was just so overwhelmed.” He notices me shivering.

“Where’s your coat?” he asks, running a hand down my arm. “You shouldn’t be outside without a coat. It’s freezing.”

“Trash day tomorrow.” I nod at the recycling.

“Oh. Let me help you with the rest of that.”

I look back at the house dubiously. It feels obscene having someone as well-dressed as Finn in my shoddy house, carrying out our garbage.

“Come on,” he says, curling an arm around me. “We need to talk.”

We head back inside.

“I don’t want to talk in front of my father,” I murmur. “My bedroom…”

“Very forward of you,” he says.

I laugh despite my nervousness. When we get to my room, I place the flowers on the dresser. Why am I so scared now? I feel a deep longing to be held, to be comforted. I’m so tired of always having to be strong.

“I’ve missed you, Sasha. I didn’t know if you wanted to see me after everything that happened. After what I did, and what my father did.”

I take a deep breath and sit on the bed with my legs crossed under me. “I do want to see you.”

He sits next to me. My bed is way too small for a man like Finn, and it groans under his weight.

“Why did you step down from the Trinity case?” he asks.

Business, then?

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