Page 59 of Grift

Patrick

It’s a terrible idea. But in the several weeks since the wedding, I’ve been avoiding Carney family dinners.

“It’s been noticed,” Callan says, sounding dire.

Honestly, I don’t care. But then Siobhan calls Jessica in an underhanded move that is definitely inspired by a Doyle and we’re going to Sunday dinner at Siobhan’s house.

We’re trapped.

Jessica looks beautiful in a modest red dress that hugs her curves, with her hair up and I’m thinking seriously of skipping this torture session in favor of unpinning her hair.

One pin at a time.

In fact… “Leave my hair alone,” she manages, ducking away from me.

I like how she’s come alive. She’s more playful, funnier, more of what I imagine is really her true self.

“Give me five minutes,” I grumble and then head into the closet.

I’m looking for a specific shirt and I can’t find it. In fact, where the hell are half my shirts?

“I actually had them dry cleaned,” a voice says shyly behind me.

At the words, I freeze.

“I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great, thank you,” I keep my voice neutral, reaching to take the dry-cleaning bag from her.

“You’ve been so busy at the casino and I’ve been working from home,” she says too quickly. “From here, I mean. I thought I could help.”

It’s thoughtful and it’s intimate, and it’s the kind of thing I’d love to have someone in my life do for me when my job gets out of control. But not Jessica. I can’t afford for my emotions to get any more tangled up with her. It’s easy to forget with the fast-flowing chemistry that this can’t last. It’s easy to forget that these domestic gestures are a lie.

Once Lila does her thing, I’m going to do mine and there’s only one course of action that follows: letting Jessica get back to the life that she always imagined.

She deserves to be traveling the world, working on the digs that she’s always dreamed of, and making up for lost time.

I can’t forget that once she’s disentangled from her fucked up family dynamics once and for all, the last thing she needs to do is be weighted down again with mine.

That’s why it’s particularly aggravating to be spending the day with half my family.

Kieran Doyle answers Siobhan’s door. He gives Jessica an appreciative grin and greets me like we’re old friends. “Patrick, thank you so much for bringing your beautiful wife by. You can stay too if you like.”

I hated Kieran Doyle on sight. I’ve warmed up to him though. Just don’t tell him that.

I don’t think we’ll ever be friends. His unending joy gets on my nerves. But I can tell Siobhan’s in good hands with him, and that’s good enough for me.

Everyone’s here except for Bridget, who has a matinee she’s dancing at, and Finn who is out of town with his girlfriend Sasha.

There’s an awkward moment right as we go inside. Callan and Rory are in the living room, watching a rugby game. Rory’s animated commentary reminds how much my little brother loves the sport he’s now building a business around.

Catriona is furiously texting someone. Kieran snags the bowl of whatever Jessica made and heads into the kitchen to help Siobhan.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? My urge is basically to put myself between Jessica and them. It’s totally irrational. I should be enjoying my family and remembering that I’m going to have to let her go.

Siobhan pops out of the kitchen, smiling warmly. “Jessica, do you want to give me a hand in the kitchen? I’d love to catch up while I finish dinner.”

Jessica is on her feet before I can refuse, offer to go for her, or at least with her. They disappear through the kitchen door, Jessica flashing me a quick smile as she goes.

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