Page 108 of Shadows and Roses

"Not with them."

"Just because you have no interest in—"

"They will only hurt you."

"And what if that’s what I want?"

The words had slipped, but they felt true. A poisonous truth he had no intention of considering too deeply. Distraction was all he was after. Mindless, pointless distraction.

Octavius blinked. His frown seemed almost pensive. "Perhaps… But not with the nobles. If it’s pain you’re after, choose someone you trust. Thakris, Darius, anyone in the Inner Circle. But not them."

Castien scoffed. "I don’t need to be coddled. This is the only trust I need." He lifted a bracer-wrapped arm. No noble would dare hurt him, not unless he was stripped of his status. By the way Octavius stared at the studded leather, that wasn’t an impossibility. But so what if he did?

The healer’s scowl darkened. He shook his head and resumed walking. "The extra training is still required. You will report at dawn. I suggest you sleep if you intend to participate."

Castien looked back toward the Great Hall. "I’ll be there."

He didn’t feel like sleeping. Distraction beckoned.Sweet, cloying distraction.

A courtesan’s desires were always secondary. He was secondary. Expendable. The client’s needs came first. Ana— The Queen had ended his contract. He had no client, no House to serve, no one expecting anything of him.

But he could still be useful. He needed to not be sent away, to at least be allowed to be near her for a little while longer. Perhaps a week, or a moon, as soon as he could bear the idea, he’d go.

How had he let himself become so attached? His Master would be embarrassed.No one loves a whore.

And that was all he was.

He took a step toward the dining room.

The taste of cloves lingered. Revulsion turned his stomach. There were better ways to gather information. Bedplay was the least of his talents. His head ached. Perhaps sleep was best after all.

Chapter 31

Anais

Anais sat back, nodding as Damon concluded his speech to her Escorts. It was odd seeing anyone new on their private council, but it was time.

"...thousand new recruits are adjusting well. We’ve upheld our end of the bargain."

Around the table sat Laureline, a colorful splash of red and blue feathers fanning the air above her head; Vern, whose posture was far too still for her liking; Trishve, the general quietly assessing every word out of Damon’s mouth; and Jerome, just quiet.

Anais added, "And the council has approved additional payments for clawed girls born to commoners."

Laureline made a disbelieving noise. "A concession fromthemis worth more than a thousand untrained troops."

Damon’s crooked smile aimed to charm. He’d have better chances flirting with a stone wall. "They are not untrained, my lady. They are some of the best and smartest fighters we have, and they will make the transition easier for the next batch."

Laureline smiled back prettily, the feathers in her hat dipping. "That’s wonderful to hear, dear."

Anais suppressed a snort. Good thing the lady was already predisposed to like him.

Vern said, "Nadraken will hear of this and wonder if all of Castien’s claims were truthful."

"They can wonder," Anais waved absently, glancing at the door. "We’ve always played thegame. Nothing has changed."

This meeting was primarily to incorporate Damon as one of her advisors. Her Escorts hadn’t all been pleased by her announcement, but they hadn’t liked Castien at first either.

Today was also the day Castien was expected to arrive at the palace. He could be walking in the halls right this moment. She'd been surprised at Octavius' letter. A part of her had accepted that Castien would never return, would take the freedom he’d always wanted, probably now needed.

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