Page 73 of Shadows and Roses

"Nothing else substantial. Flowery nonsensical regret at your loss, a mild threat about the legion, and conceited offers of replacements."

Kick. Kick.

Paper rustled. "And a threat about shadows never seeing the light."

Kick. One of the dummy's arms snapped off, flying into a corner. He watched it bounce, then caught her gaze. She was breathing hard, cold eyes freezing him to the spot.

"You didn't think that was important?"

He sighed. "It only serves to aggravate you. We already know she has him."

She turned back to the dummy, scowled, and picked up a sword. "And our spies?"

He folded the letter one page at a time. "They confirmed he’s alive. He's being tortured." A pause. "Thakris could take care of him."

"No," she growled, swinging her arm viciously. "We willnotkill him." Her form was still perfect, though faster.

"My Queen," he said slowly. "He's just a courtesan. We've established contact with the rebels. At this point, he's expendable—"

Her sword flew straight into the dummy. His mouth snapped shut.

"He is no more expendable than you," she said quietly. She let down her mask, let him look into her eyes. He would see. Though they had to keep up the pretense as much as possible, even here, he always saw her.

It took a moment, but his eyes widened. "You care for him. Do you… love him?"

She swallowed and began to tremble, the sweat on her body suddenly so cold. Hugging herself, the mask disintegrating, her knees bent and she dropped to the ground. Love? She didn’t know. But this pain, this twisting in her stomach was unbearable.

He rushed to her side and enveloped her small form in a crushing hug. "I am so sorry. Oh, my dear. Your mother always said to never fall in love. I'm so sorry."

When her shaking stopped a few minutes later, she sighed. "She loved you, father," she said.

"And hated me for it, sometimes. I was her weakness, and she hated weakness."

"It wasn't you that she hated, it was this horrible world," she murmured, leaning into his arms.

"I know. You and your mother both, I don’t know how you exist."

"The same as you."

"I exist because of you, and her. For you. They would have broken me without your mother."

A sudden lump grew in her throat. She couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. A few moments into her stillness, Vern inhaled sharply. His arms tightened around her.

"Oh, Anais. I’m so sorry."

Her breath came too quickly as though she couldn't get enough air.

Vern guided her to her bathing chambers where someone helpedher undress. The bath helped.

At the end of the day, she sat heavily on her bed, barely aware of her maid letting down her hair and removing her clothes. She managed to rouse herself for a minute, recognizing and grabbing her friend’s hand.

"Madeline." Her voice was hoarse.

"My lady?"

"Maddy… You and Jerome. You have my blessing. I shouldn’t have asked you to wait."

The girl’s expression ran through several different emotions before she spoke. "I—Anais. You don’t need to—we can wait."

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